1 00:00:49,299 --> 00:00:50,133 Peyton got it. 2 00:00:51,552 --> 00:00:52,886 Peyton got it? 3 00:00:53,470 --> 00:00:55,430 Ugh. I don't believe it. 4 00:00:55,514 --> 00:00:58,267 Oh, why does everyone care so much about Peyton? 5 00:00:58,350 --> 00:01:01,103 You should meet with Dean Chang. Make her give you some answers. 6 00:01:01,186 --> 00:01:03,981 -Seriously, let's schedule an appointment. -Why? What's she gonna say? 7 00:01:04,063 --> 00:01:06,900 Anyway, I'm fine. I didn't become a surgeon for fellowships. 8 00:01:06,984 --> 00:01:09,278 I did it because I wanted to help people without having to talk to them. 9 00:01:09,361 --> 00:01:13,031 Just ask her what happened so you'll know you did everything you could. 10 00:01:13,115 --> 00:01:15,033 -I mean, Peyton? Please stop. 11 00:01:15,868 --> 00:01:17,911 -Okay. 12 00:01:17,995 --> 00:01:19,371 Well, I'm sorry, sweetheart. 13 00:01:19,454 --> 00:01:21,582 It's just a doggy-dog world. 14 00:01:24,710 --> 00:01:27,588 I'm sorry, did you just say it's a "doggy-dog" world? 15 00:01:27,671 --> 00:01:31,008 No, when a fellowship that should so clearly go to you, 16 00:01:31,091 --> 00:01:32,968 -goes to someone-- -Hold on. Hold on. Hold on. 17 00:01:33,051 --> 00:01:34,303 Doggy-dog? 18 00:01:36,430 --> 00:01:37,514 Oh, Mel. 19 00:01:37,598 --> 00:01:40,142 You just put me in a really difficult position 20 00:01:40,225 --> 00:01:43,312 because I need you to keep saying "doggy-dog," 21 00:01:43,395 --> 00:01:48,108 but it's my obligation to tell you that the expression is "dog-eat-dog." 22 00:01:48,192 --> 00:01:51,278 Uh, I don't think so. It's doggy-dog. 23 00:01:51,361 --> 00:01:53,530 You're doubling down? 24 00:01:53,614 --> 00:01:58,952 Dog-eat-dog doesn't make sense. Dogs don't eat dogs. That never happens. 25 00:01:59,036 --> 00:02:00,913 Then what does "doggy-dog" mean? 26 00:02:00,996 --> 00:02:02,581 It means, like, it's a rough world. 27 00:02:02,664 --> 00:02:05,834 You can be brought down so low, a dog would have you for a pet. 28 00:02:05,918 --> 00:02:07,794 You'd be doggy to a dog. 29 00:02:07,878 --> 00:02:10,130 Okay, uh, a question comes to mind. 30 00:02:10,214 --> 00:02:12,257 Is English your first language? 31 00:02:12,341 --> 00:02:14,051 -Ugh, okay, babe. -No, I'm sorry. 32 00:02:14,134 --> 00:02:16,803 Listen, I love you. It's okay to be wrong. 33 00:02:16,887 --> 00:02:17,888 Well, I'm not wrong. 34 00:02:17,971 --> 00:02:20,224 And I was just trying to make you feel better. 35 00:02:20,307 --> 00:02:22,100 -You did. -Ugh. 36 00:02:30,651 --> 00:02:33,987 I'm sorry about today. 37 00:02:36,823 --> 00:02:39,159 You were right about doggy-dog. 38 00:02:40,160 --> 00:02:41,286 Makes a lot of sense. 39 00:02:42,079 --> 00:02:43,288 Thank you, sweetie. 40 00:02:43,372 --> 00:02:45,999 -And I'm sorry about the fellowship. 41 00:02:46,083 --> 00:02:47,084 Thank you. 42 00:02:47,167 --> 00:02:51,463 And you, you wouldn't eat another dog, would you? 43 00:02:51,547 --> 00:02:53,799 No, you wouldn't. You would never. 44 00:02:53,882 --> 00:02:57,469 But you would have your own dog for a pet, wouldn't you? 45 00:02:57,553 --> 00:02:59,096 Yes, you would. 46 00:02:59,179 --> 00:03:02,099 -Look at that. He agrees with me. -Mmm. 47 00:03:12,442 --> 00:03:14,403 Melissa, my word, you're disrobing. 48 00:03:14,486 --> 00:03:16,697 No-- Oh, no, just my shoes. It's late. 49 00:03:16,780 --> 00:03:19,283 What a breath of fresh air you are. 50 00:03:19,992 --> 00:03:22,995 How do you think of these things? You're such a free spirit. 51 00:03:23,787 --> 00:03:25,038 That's me. 52 00:03:25,873 --> 00:03:28,417 -Okay, well, here we go. 53 00:03:28,500 --> 00:03:32,129 Piggies, we are giving ourselves to nature. 54 00:03:36,008 --> 00:03:38,510 Shall we be tender monkeys? 55 00:03:39,761 --> 00:03:42,890 Wow. You're a little different in love. 56 00:03:43,557 --> 00:03:47,436 But you know what? I'm into it because I'm not controlling. 57 00:03:48,353 --> 00:03:50,689 Well, how about instead we go over our top threes of the day? 58 00:03:50,772 --> 00:03:54,026 By which I mean the day's three worst moments. 59 00:03:54,109 --> 00:03:56,695 Seems you have turned my world on its head. 60 00:03:56,778 --> 00:03:58,780 Jorge, you don't have to do that. 61 00:03:58,864 --> 00:04:02,075 It's just a dumb thing I used to do with an old boyfriend, 62 00:04:02,159 --> 00:04:03,702 and I shouldn't have mentioned it. 63 00:04:03,785 --> 00:04:08,040 Okay, but my number one is when Helen Pritt gave me the stink eye 64 00:04:08,123 --> 00:04:10,000 for using the word "constipated." 65 00:04:10,083 --> 00:04:14,254 -Oh, how positively savage. "Constipated." 66 00:04:16,673 --> 00:04:17,925 What was your number one? 67 00:04:18,675 --> 00:04:21,303 Oh, my number one of the day, uh... 68 00:04:21,386 --> 00:04:23,680 well, it was me. I was a horrible doctor. 69 00:04:23,764 --> 00:04:26,475 Oh, no. Although-- 70 00:04:26,558 --> 00:04:29,228 Maybe you could prescribe less radium water, but-- 71 00:04:29,311 --> 00:04:32,481 Well, I was distracted all day because my thoughts were only of you, darling. 72 00:04:33,440 --> 00:04:36,818 How you crack me open and let the light flood in. 73 00:04:38,779 --> 00:04:42,908 It's crazy, but I feel like you've done the same for me. 74 00:04:43,450 --> 00:04:45,869 Seems like forever since I've been this happy. 75 00:04:49,957 --> 00:04:54,962 ♪ Suddenly you've got my senses reeling ♪ 76 00:04:55,963 --> 00:05:01,176 ♪ Is it just the thrill Of something new? ♪ 77 00:05:01,718 --> 00:05:06,807 ♪ Suddenly these feelings That I'm feeling ♪ 78 00:05:07,599 --> 00:05:12,312 ♪ If they're real, then what am I to do? ♪ 79 00:05:13,897 --> 00:05:19,570 ♪ There's no sense In trying to explain it ♪ 80 00:05:20,153 --> 00:05:26,326 ♪ What and where and why And when and how ♪ 81 00:05:26,410 --> 00:05:32,749 ♪ All I know is suddenly I love you ♪ 82 00:05:33,333 --> 00:05:39,214 ♪ And suddenly that's all that matters ♪ 83 00:05:39,840 --> 00:05:42,926 ♪ Now ♪ 84 00:05:55,772 --> 00:05:56,982 Oh, I'm so sorry. 85 00:05:57,065 --> 00:05:59,193 -Oh, it's my fault, I'm sure. 86 00:06:00,068 --> 00:06:03,697 Oh, looky everyone. The countess has returned early. 87 00:06:03,780 --> 00:06:04,781 How wonderful! 88 00:06:04,865 --> 00:06:07,868 Melissa, this is, uh, the Countess Gabriele Von Blerkom. 89 00:06:07,951 --> 00:06:11,663 -She also invented stainless steel. -Jorge, please. 90 00:06:11,747 --> 00:06:15,459 I dabble in aluminothermic reduction processes and I got lucky. 91 00:06:17,294 --> 00:06:19,963 Oh, my gosh. This is just like Sound of Music. 92 00:06:20,047 --> 00:06:22,257 Let me guess, you're just back from the city 93 00:06:22,341 --> 00:06:24,384 and you're supposed to marry him, right? 94 00:06:25,135 --> 00:06:29,014 Have we met? 'Cause I'd never forget such a lovely creature. 95 00:06:29,723 --> 00:06:31,266 What a beautiful couple you two make. 96 00:06:31,350 --> 00:06:34,478 Blerky, Blerky. You silly, silly, Blerky. 97 00:06:34,561 --> 00:06:37,022 No, no. Do you think this woman and I were dancing? 98 00:06:37,105 --> 00:06:39,024 No, I was just simply spinning her around 99 00:06:39,107 --> 00:06:41,860 to dislodge the food that she was, uh, choking-- 100 00:06:41,944 --> 00:06:43,320 I'm Melissa, the new nurse. 101 00:06:43,403 --> 00:06:45,656 Although you look much newer, Blerky, 102 00:06:45,739 --> 00:06:48,534 you shine and sparkle so! 103 00:06:48,617 --> 00:06:51,745 Jorge, I'm parched. Do root out some champagne. 104 00:06:51,828 --> 00:06:53,038 Yes, of course. 105 00:06:56,416 --> 00:06:58,043 He's in love with you. 106 00:06:58,126 --> 00:06:58,961 Uh... 107 00:06:59,044 --> 00:07:01,171 Well, he'd hardly be a man if he weren't. 108 00:07:01,255 --> 00:07:04,633 Oh-- Stop it. No. I mean, I guess. 109 00:07:04,716 --> 00:07:07,177 You are a goddess. 110 00:07:07,261 --> 00:07:09,721 You're so smart and stunning. 111 00:07:09,805 --> 00:07:12,391 Compared to you, I'm, uh, a barefoot mess. 112 00:07:13,433 --> 00:07:16,687 Ah! What fun. Oh. 113 00:07:16,770 --> 00:07:19,147 Let's just go find your shoes, shall we? 114 00:07:19,231 --> 00:07:23,485 The truth is, it's crazy, but Jorge and I are in love. 115 00:07:23,569 --> 00:07:25,028 And I know that must hurt, 116 00:07:25,112 --> 00:07:30,576 but I have this feeling, a vision let's call it, 117 00:07:30,659 --> 00:07:33,370 that you are going to graciously step aside. 118 00:07:33,453 --> 00:07:37,249 I can't explain how I know. Let's call it a sixth sense. 119 00:07:37,332 --> 00:07:40,502 Oh, there are so many things one could call it. 120 00:07:40,586 --> 00:07:42,588 Aw. 121 00:07:43,297 --> 00:07:45,299 What sweaty little hands you have. 122 00:07:46,300 --> 00:07:49,469 You and I must get to know each other better. 123 00:07:49,553 --> 00:07:52,848 Oh, I know. We'll go for a drive. Tomorrow? 124 00:07:52,931 --> 00:07:55,017 I would love that, Blerky. 125 00:07:55,100 --> 00:07:56,351 Oh. 126 00:07:56,435 --> 00:07:59,021 You feel comfortable enough to call me that. 127 00:08:02,566 --> 00:08:04,359 It's raisin bread. 128 00:08:04,443 --> 00:08:06,195 -Yeah. -It's coleslaw. 129 00:08:06,278 --> 00:08:08,655 Sarsaparilla soda? 130 00:08:11,241 --> 00:08:15,120 My sister must really like you. She's never smiled like this before. 131 00:08:15,204 --> 00:08:17,748 Everyone in town thinks she's a sad sack. 132 00:08:17,831 --> 00:08:19,041 Carson. 133 00:08:19,666 --> 00:08:22,252 Why don't you go count the ants over by that pine tree? 134 00:08:22,336 --> 00:08:23,587 -Absolutely. Mmm. 135 00:08:24,671 --> 00:08:29,426 Well, whatever everyone in town thinks, it's better than what I think of them. 136 00:08:29,510 --> 00:08:30,594 Smiling is overrated. 137 00:08:31,762 --> 00:08:32,971 Twenty-six ants! 138 00:08:33,679 --> 00:08:34,847 Keep counting, buddy! 139 00:08:36,558 --> 00:08:40,312 So, how long are you going to be in Schmigadoon? 140 00:08:40,395 --> 00:08:44,483 You know, I ask because I've had difficulties navigating the ins and outs 141 00:08:44,566 --> 00:08:46,068 of handyman season before. 142 00:08:46,652 --> 00:08:48,362 Well, to be honest, I don't know. 143 00:08:48,445 --> 00:08:50,405 I really need to get back to New York. 144 00:08:50,489 --> 00:08:53,033 Oh, but you can't. I mean, it isn't safe. 145 00:08:53,909 --> 00:08:55,494 It's filled with gambling and crime 146 00:08:55,577 --> 00:08:58,539 and poor souls who've tried to make it big 147 00:08:58,622 --> 00:09:01,333 but can't go back home because of foolish pride. 148 00:09:01,416 --> 00:09:03,669 See, but that's what I love about New York. 149 00:09:04,253 --> 00:09:07,631 There are so many people in the city from all walks of life. 150 00:09:07,714 --> 00:09:10,384 I don't know, maybe it's just because you can't keep track of them all, 151 00:09:10,467 --> 00:09:14,388 but-- but everyone in New York's got the chance to reinvent themselves. 152 00:09:22,563 --> 00:09:25,899 My sister kissed Dr. Skinner! My sister! 153 00:09:25,983 --> 00:09:28,402 Carson, you know better than to spy. 154 00:09:28,485 --> 00:09:30,153 That will be sentences when we get home. 155 00:09:30,237 --> 00:09:34,408 Sentences? Then I'm never telling you how many ants there are. 156 00:09:34,491 --> 00:09:37,244 He thinks everyone's got to know everyone's business. 157 00:09:37,327 --> 00:09:40,372 It's all right. Maybe he'll grow up to be a reporter. 158 00:09:40,455 --> 00:09:41,582 I can see that headline. 159 00:09:41,665 --> 00:09:44,918 " Schoolmarm Scandal." 160 00:09:46,837 --> 00:09:49,631 No, it's okay. He knows he has a lisp. 161 00:09:50,215 --> 00:09:52,885 I had one too. We don't pretend that it doesn't exist. 162 00:09:54,052 --> 00:09:56,597 You know what? You are doing a great job with him. 163 00:09:57,431 --> 00:10:00,100 It can't be easy being both a sister and a parent. 164 00:10:01,059 --> 00:10:03,061 That's really none of your business. 165 00:10:03,145 --> 00:10:05,647 What? I'm sorry. I meant that as a compliment. 166 00:10:05,731 --> 00:10:07,024 Well, thank you for that. 167 00:10:07,941 --> 00:10:09,776 Oh, dear. It looks like rain. 168 00:10:09,860 --> 00:10:12,070 -It's clear. -Well, that's the pattern, isn't it? 169 00:10:12,154 --> 00:10:14,406 No rain. Rain. No rain. Rain. 170 00:10:14,489 --> 00:10:17,492 Oh, it's been so nice seeing you, Josh, 171 00:10:17,576 --> 00:10:20,037 but Carson and I really need to be on our way. 172 00:10:20,120 --> 00:10:21,622 Wait. Emma, what's wrong? 173 00:10:21,705 --> 00:10:23,123 Carson, it's time to go. 174 00:10:23,207 --> 00:10:25,417 But Dr. Skinner was-- -No, we need to go. 175 00:10:29,338 --> 00:10:30,339 Wha-- 176 00:10:31,256 --> 00:10:32,257 Emma. 177 00:10:46,688 --> 00:10:48,524 -Good afternoon, Mrs. Layton. -Is it? 178 00:10:49,233 --> 00:10:50,317 Uh, pardon? 179 00:10:50,400 --> 00:10:52,986 Oh, sir, I hear you. Yes, I hear you. 180 00:10:53,070 --> 00:10:55,989 And normally I'd agree that, yes, it is a good afternoon. 181 00:10:56,073 --> 00:11:00,244 But not this afternoon. Not with the state of our town today. 182 00:11:01,537 --> 00:11:03,664 ♪ We've got tribulation, my good sir ♪ 183 00:11:03,747 --> 00:11:05,916 ♪ We've got tribulation in Schmigadoon ♪ 184 00:11:05,999 --> 00:11:09,837 ♪ Look down there, do you see what I see? Peanut shells in the street ♪ 185 00:11:09,920 --> 00:11:12,464 ♪ Lying there like passed-out drunks In the gutter ♪ 186 00:11:12,548 --> 00:11:15,092 ♪ Turning town square Into the floor of a saloon ♪ 187 00:11:15,175 --> 00:11:17,302 ♪ The home of loose woman And hooch-happy sinners ♪ 188 00:11:17,386 --> 00:11:19,429 ♪ A petting pantry In the middle of the street ♪ 189 00:11:19,513 --> 00:11:21,181 ♪ Is that what our town's become? ♪ 190 00:11:21,265 --> 00:11:23,100 ♪ Is that the future We want for our children? ♪ 191 00:11:23,183 --> 00:11:24,852 ♪ I'm telling ya things have changed ♪ 192 00:11:24,935 --> 00:11:26,979 ♪ Ever since those Two outsiders waltzed in ♪ 193 00:11:27,604 --> 00:11:30,023 ♪ With their big city ways And their newfangled ideas ♪ 194 00:11:30,107 --> 00:11:32,150 ♪ Promiscuity and depravity ♪ 195 00:11:32,776 --> 00:11:34,695 ♪ Interlopers interloping ♪ 196 00:11:34,778 --> 00:11:36,780 ♪ With hearts colder Than the hinges of hell ♪ 197 00:11:36,864 --> 00:11:38,615 ♪ First the two of them Arrived unmarried ♪ 198 00:11:38,699 --> 00:11:41,076 ♪ Brimming with lust Wanting to share a bed ♪ 199 00:11:41,159 --> 00:11:43,287 ♪ Then the brazen display At the basket auction ♪ 200 00:11:43,370 --> 00:11:45,539 ♪ Now the mayor's out Proclaiming his perversions ♪ 201 00:11:45,622 --> 00:11:47,374 ♪ At the root of it all Are two strangers ♪ 202 00:11:47,457 --> 00:11:49,751 ♪ Who've never cracked A Bible in their life ♪ 203 00:11:49,835 --> 00:11:53,130 ♪ And that's gonna lead To tribulation and strife ♪ 204 00:11:53,213 --> 00:11:55,549 ♪ Now I've got nothing against outsiders ♪ 205 00:11:56,091 --> 00:11:58,177 ♪ Provided they're The right kind of people ♪ 206 00:11:58,260 --> 00:12:00,888 ♪ Kind of folk who look and talk And act like us ♪ 207 00:12:00,971 --> 00:12:03,015 ♪ Like peas in a pod And birds of a feather ♪ 208 00:12:03,098 --> 00:12:05,350 ♪ Not loudmouthed trash With their tommyrot, flapdoodle ♪ 209 00:12:05,434 --> 00:12:07,603 ♪ Claptrap, fiddle-faddle Jiggery-pokery ♪ 210 00:12:07,686 --> 00:12:09,897 ♪ Stirring up the cream While we're waiting for it to settle ♪ 211 00:12:09,980 --> 00:12:11,982 ♪ Like vermin in the root cellar Flies in the buttermilk ♪ 212 00:12:12,065 --> 00:12:13,984 ♪ And they're influencing There, I said it ♪ 213 00:12:14,067 --> 00:12:16,028 ♪ They're influencing your children ♪ 214 00:12:16,111 --> 00:12:18,322 ♪ Like an earwig crawling From their ears to their brains ♪ 215 00:12:18,405 --> 00:12:20,616 ♪ And soon your young 'uns Will be neglecting chores ♪ 216 00:12:20,699 --> 00:12:22,910 ♪ Milk going sour Unstrained in the springhouse ♪ 217 00:12:22,993 --> 00:12:25,037 ♪ Back talk at dinner No time for the good book ♪ 218 00:12:25,120 --> 00:12:27,456 ♪ Ragtime blaring on the Victrola ♪ 219 00:12:27,539 --> 00:12:29,166 ♪ And that's just the beginning, folks ♪ 220 00:12:29,249 --> 00:12:30,834 ♪ Soon you won't even, no you won't ♪ 221 00:12:30,918 --> 00:12:33,003 ♪ No, you won't even recognize Your own town ♪ 222 00:12:33,086 --> 00:12:36,006 ♪ I'm talking 'bout neon signs Smoke-filled rooms ♪ 223 00:12:36,089 --> 00:12:38,217 ♪ Billiard parlors and painted ladies ♪ 224 00:12:38,300 --> 00:12:40,302 ♪ Wanton women having children Out of wedlock ♪ 225 00:12:40,385 --> 00:12:42,429 ♪ Rowdy men using filthy language ♪ 226 00:12:42,513 --> 00:12:44,723 ♪ The devil himself dancing On your front porch ♪ 227 00:12:44,806 --> 00:12:46,808 ♪ Stealing your babies Out of their cribs at midnight ♪ 228 00:12:46,892 --> 00:12:48,977 ♪ Cows and sheep having amorous congress ♪ 229 00:12:49,061 --> 00:12:51,230 ♪ Children with the mark of the beast On their foreheads ♪ 230 00:12:51,313 --> 00:12:55,275 ♪ All thanks to these two out-of-towners Dr. Skinner and Miss Gimble ♪ 231 00:12:55,359 --> 00:12:59,696 ♪ Better hold on to your husband Best keep an eye on your wife ♪ 232 00:12:59,780 --> 00:13:03,450 ♪ There's gonna be Some tribulation and strife ♪ 233 00:13:03,534 --> 00:13:05,619 -♪ Oh, we've got strife ♪ ♪ Got strife ♪ 234 00:13:05,702 --> 00:13:08,455 -♪ And tribulation ♪ -♪ Tribulation ♪ 235 00:13:08,539 --> 00:13:12,292 -♪ And not to mention miscegenation ♪ -♪ Ooh, that sounds bad ♪ 236 00:13:12,376 --> 00:13:14,419 -♪ Let's pray the Lord ♪ -♪ Pray the Lord ♪ 237 00:13:14,503 --> 00:13:16,672 -♪ Will save us soon ♪ -♪ Save us soon ♪ 238 00:13:16,755 --> 00:13:20,133 ♪ 'Cause we've got strife And tribulation in Schmigadoon! ♪ 239 00:13:20,217 --> 00:13:22,010 ♪ Strife, strife, strife, strife ♪ 240 00:13:22,094 --> 00:13:23,387 ♪ Strife, strife, strife, strife ♪ 241 00:13:23,470 --> 00:13:24,555 I can't hear y'all! 242 00:13:24,638 --> 00:13:26,265 ♪ Strife, strife, strife ♪ 243 00:13:27,683 --> 00:13:29,226 I love this town. 244 00:13:29,309 --> 00:13:32,354 Y'all know my great-great-granddaddy founded Schmigadoon 245 00:13:32,437 --> 00:13:35,524 when he came upon this beautiful tract of land and said, 246 00:13:35,607 --> 00:13:37,317 "They'll never find us here." 247 00:13:37,401 --> 00:13:39,486 But it pains me. Oh! It pains me 248 00:13:39,570 --> 00:13:42,656 to see our town slipping away right before our very eyes. 249 00:13:42,739 --> 00:13:45,158 I tried to alert the mayor, but his mind was elsewhere. 250 00:13:45,242 --> 00:13:46,910 -In his pants! 251 00:13:46,994 --> 00:13:49,538 His poor wife is so ashamed she locked herself inside her house. 252 00:13:49,621 --> 00:13:51,039 And this time, on purpose. 253 00:13:51,123 --> 00:13:52,374 I'm sorry, Florence! 254 00:13:53,000 --> 00:13:57,129 New leadership. That's what Schmigadoon needs. 255 00:13:57,671 --> 00:13:58,672 But who? 256 00:13:58,755 --> 00:14:02,467 Who has the moral wherewithal, the traditional how-to, 257 00:14:02,551 --> 00:14:06,513 the good, old-fashioned, all-American je ne sais quoi 258 00:14:06,597 --> 00:14:08,390 to stand up to these two outsiders? 259 00:14:08,473 --> 00:14:10,934 -Mildred Layton for mayor! -I couldn't. 260 00:14:11,018 --> 00:14:13,145 Mildred Layton for mayor! -I wouldn't. 261 00:14:13,228 --> 00:14:16,857 Mildred Layton for mayor! 262 00:14:18,483 --> 00:14:21,153 -Okay, I'll do it. 263 00:14:21,236 --> 00:14:23,405 -♪ It's time to vote ♪ ♪ To vote ♪ 264 00:14:23,488 --> 00:14:25,741 -♪ And vote for Layton ♪ -♪ Vote for Layton ♪ 265 00:14:25,824 --> 00:14:29,036 ♪ She is the only one who'll Save our town from Satan ♪ 266 00:14:29,119 --> 00:14:30,120 ♪ Save us now ♪ 267 00:14:30,204 --> 00:14:32,080 -♪ Let's hope that she ♪ -♪ Hope that she ♪ 268 00:14:32,164 --> 00:14:34,333 -♪ Will save us soon ♪ -♪ Save us soon ♪ 269 00:14:34,416 --> 00:14:37,169 ♪ 'Cause we've got strife And tribulation ♪ 270 00:14:37,252 --> 00:14:39,421 ♪ Strife and tribulation ♪ 271 00:14:39,505 --> 00:14:41,632 ♪ Grief and consternation ♪ 272 00:14:41,715 --> 00:14:43,800 ♪ Grief and consternation ♪ 273 00:14:43,884 --> 00:14:49,515 ♪ Strife and tribulation ♪ 274 00:14:57,564 --> 00:14:58,649 Ow! 275 00:14:58,732 --> 00:15:00,108 Sorry, Pete! 276 00:15:01,193 --> 00:15:05,322 I want you to write "I will not spy" 500 times. 277 00:15:05,405 --> 00:15:08,200 And do not get up until you do. Do you understand me? 278 00:15:15,999 --> 00:15:18,085 This is outrageous. 279 00:15:20,045 --> 00:15:21,797 Hey, can I have your pencil, sport? 280 00:15:25,050 --> 00:15:28,428 So, what do you think happened at the picnic? 281 00:15:28,512 --> 00:15:30,722 Why did your sister get so mad? 282 00:15:31,306 --> 00:15:32,850 She's a mystery. 283 00:15:34,810 --> 00:15:36,436 Here, you can write twice as fast. 284 00:15:37,980 --> 00:15:39,106 Let's see. 285 00:15:42,943 --> 00:15:45,237 -Huh? -We're cheating! 286 00:15:45,320 --> 00:15:47,447 Shh! No, I'm not teaching you how to cheat. 287 00:15:47,531 --> 00:15:49,783 This is totally fair. It's the Air Bud rule. 288 00:15:50,951 --> 00:15:53,954 Oh, boy. Um... there's movies here, right? 289 00:15:55,455 --> 00:15:56,373 Moving pictures? 290 00:15:56,456 --> 00:15:59,334 Oh, yes, sir. I saw one at the nickelodeon. 291 00:15:59,418 --> 00:16:03,172 It was of a man on a bicycle. It was like he was right there. 292 00:16:03,255 --> 00:16:06,091 Great. So Air Bud is about a dog 293 00:16:06,175 --> 00:16:09,261 who gets to play on a middle school basketball team, 294 00:16:09,344 --> 00:16:13,140 because there's nothing in the rule book that specifically says he can't. 295 00:16:13,932 --> 00:16:18,228 So we're not cheating, we're just exploiting a loophole. 296 00:16:18,312 --> 00:16:19,646 Gee, thanks! 297 00:16:21,523 --> 00:16:23,984 Uh, Carson, I just... 298 00:16:24,067 --> 00:16:25,819 I don't wanna leave you with the impression 299 00:16:25,903 --> 00:16:27,821 that you shouldn't work hard on stuff. 300 00:16:28,655 --> 00:16:32,367 Or that Air Bud is a good movie. I mean, it's no Man on Bicycle. 301 00:16:33,577 --> 00:16:34,578 Um... 302 00:16:42,085 --> 00:16:44,838 Then you just remove the carbon from the molten steel 303 00:16:44,922 --> 00:16:48,258 until it reaches a composition that can maintain the microstructure. 304 00:16:49,510 --> 00:16:50,511 Wow! 305 00:16:51,845 --> 00:16:55,724 I once had to boil soup in my stainless steel trash can, long story, 306 00:16:55,807 --> 00:16:58,519 and it saved Thanksgiving, so thank you. 307 00:17:00,771 --> 00:17:01,939 And I just wanna say, 308 00:17:02,022 --> 00:17:06,234 I know it is bonkers for Jorge to choose me over you. 309 00:17:06,318 --> 00:17:07,861 I mean, you could have anyone. 310 00:17:07,944 --> 00:17:11,490 Alfred Hitchcock would turn down a custard pie to torture you. 311 00:17:11,573 --> 00:17:12,574 Love is weird. 312 00:17:13,659 --> 00:17:16,203 Oh, it happens all the time, my dear. 313 00:17:16,286 --> 00:17:18,704 Powerful men can never resist the help. 314 00:17:20,665 --> 00:17:22,416 Well, thank you for understanding. 315 00:17:22,501 --> 00:17:24,627 You know, it makes me feel so much better. 316 00:17:25,671 --> 00:17:28,006 It's actually been the story of my life. 317 00:17:29,883 --> 00:17:31,635 Wait. You get a song? 318 00:17:31,718 --> 00:17:34,096 That's surprising. You're kind of a minor cha-- 319 00:17:34,179 --> 00:17:35,931 Wait. My backpack, why-- 320 00:17:36,014 --> 00:17:41,311 ♪ Once I wooed a Swede named Bjorn Had his maid bring tea each morn ♪ 321 00:17:41,395 --> 00:17:44,147 ♪ Turns out horny Bjorn He loved servant porn ♪ 322 00:17:44,231 --> 00:17:47,025 ♪ And poof went my plan ♪ 323 00:17:47,109 --> 00:17:49,695 ♪ I am beautiful and clever ♪ 324 00:17:49,778 --> 00:17:55,117 ♪ And I always, always never get my man ♪ 325 00:17:55,200 --> 00:17:57,703 Should you be driving and singing? 326 00:17:57,786 --> 00:18:03,083 ♪ There was Tex who traded stocks Hired a girl to darn his socks ♪ 327 00:18:03,166 --> 00:18:07,754 ♪ And when Texy's socks led to sexy talks I was out on my can ♪ 328 00:18:08,922 --> 00:18:11,508 ♪ Give my all to each endeavor ♪ 329 00:18:11,592 --> 00:18:16,722 ♪ And I always, always never get my man ♪ 330 00:18:16,805 --> 00:18:22,311 ♪ Fell in love with Cole's 1930 Rolls Dreamed that I would be his bride ♪ 331 00:18:22,394 --> 00:18:25,314 ♪ But when his chauffeur Turned out to be a her ♪ 332 00:18:25,397 --> 00:18:27,316 ♪ They both took me for a ride ♪ 333 00:18:33,197 --> 00:18:35,782 ♪ Seems I'll never end this curse ♪ 334 00:18:35,866 --> 00:18:38,660 ♪ 'Cause now my doctor has this nurse ♪ 335 00:18:38,744 --> 00:18:41,330 ♪ And what's worse the nurse Wants me to disperse ♪ 336 00:18:41,413 --> 00:18:44,082 ♪ Like dust from a fan ♪ 337 00:18:44,166 --> 00:18:46,752 ♪ So I hope you've had your fun ♪ 338 00:18:46,835 --> 00:18:49,963 ♪ 'Cause the fact is, girl, you're done ♪ 339 00:18:50,047 --> 00:18:54,551 ♪ 'Cause this time, hon Oh, this time, hon ♪ 340 00:18:54,635 --> 00:18:58,430 ♪ Yeah, this time, hon I am gonna ♪ 341 00:18:58,514 --> 00:19:04,269 ♪ Gonna get my man ♪ 342 00:19:07,731 --> 00:19:08,732 Oh. 343 00:19:10,734 --> 00:19:12,903 -What are you doing? 344 00:19:13,695 --> 00:19:14,738 Get out. 345 00:19:15,739 --> 00:19:18,075 Is that stainless steel? 346 00:19:18,158 --> 00:19:23,372 Oh, don't sweet-talk me. I want Jorge. I love him. 347 00:19:23,455 --> 00:19:26,792 And I'm tired of being told how well-mannered I am for stepping aside. 348 00:19:26,875 --> 00:19:28,669 Now get out of the car! 349 00:19:30,963 --> 00:19:33,173 And don't even think about coming back. 350 00:19:34,091 --> 00:19:36,510 You can't do this. I'm not the bad guy here. 351 00:19:36,593 --> 00:19:40,097 You walked into my engagement and destroyed my future. 352 00:19:40,180 --> 00:19:41,723 That's called being the bad guy. 353 00:19:42,474 --> 00:19:46,520 Yeah, well, it's never explicitly stated, but I think you're a Nazi. 354 00:19:47,187 --> 00:19:49,690 Of course I'm a Nazi. 355 00:19:49,773 --> 00:19:51,316 Can I at least have my backpa-- 356 00:20:04,705 --> 00:20:06,874 You wanna tell me what's going on? 357 00:20:07,499 --> 00:20:12,462 What is going on is I have been lying to you. 358 00:20:13,422 --> 00:20:17,968 To everyone. But especially to Carson. 359 00:20:21,638 --> 00:20:22,806 I'm not his sister. 360 00:20:24,308 --> 00:20:25,851 I'm his mother. 361 00:20:26,935 --> 00:20:28,145 Oh, Emma. 362 00:20:30,647 --> 00:20:32,191 Look, it wasn't meant to happen. 363 00:20:33,150 --> 00:20:35,611 I was so young, and my parents evicted me, 364 00:20:35,694 --> 00:20:38,363 and I wound up in a maternity ward for wayward girls, 365 00:20:38,447 --> 00:20:40,532 although we were anything but. 366 00:20:42,367 --> 00:20:44,036 And when Carson was born, 367 00:20:44,661 --> 00:20:47,706 I told everyone, including him, that he was my brother. 368 00:20:48,874 --> 00:20:51,793 I just couldn't let Mildred Layton and her biddy brigade 369 00:20:51,877 --> 00:20:54,796 say what they would say about him if they knew the truth. 370 00:20:56,757 --> 00:20:58,592 But, of course, now you know. 371 00:21:00,928 --> 00:21:04,097 So I understand if this means it's over between us, Josh. 372 00:21:04,181 --> 00:21:07,893 It doesn't change how I feel about you, Emma. At all. 373 00:21:16,443 --> 00:21:17,444 Carson. 374 00:21:18,403 --> 00:21:21,657 I thought I told you to stay in your seat until you were done. 375 00:21:21,740 --> 00:21:23,992 -You can't possi-- -You lied to me. You're a liar! 376 00:21:24,618 --> 00:21:25,744 No, Carson. 377 00:21:45,180 --> 00:21:46,807 You lost my heart. 378 00:21:46,890 --> 00:21:49,017 I gave you my heart, and you lost it. 379 00:21:49,101 --> 00:21:52,229 Are you sure I didn't give it back to you? Check your backpack. 'Cause I'm-- 380 00:21:52,312 --> 00:21:54,523 Then why do I have your heart? 381 00:21:59,319 --> 00:22:00,904 Maybe I am the bad guy. 382 00:22:07,369 --> 00:22:09,997 Oh, no, is this a dream ballet? 383 00:22:10,080 --> 00:22:12,374 No, no, we're not having a dream ballet. Okay? 384 00:22:12,457 --> 00:22:14,960 They're annoying and stupid. They slow everything down. 385 00:22:15,043 --> 00:22:16,837 Nobody likes a dream ballet. Nobody. 386 00:22:24,761 --> 00:22:28,015 I just-- I don't have time for one. I have to get back to Schmiga-- 387 00:22:30,517 --> 00:22:33,437 Actually, no, I don't have to get back 388 00:22:33,520 --> 00:22:36,106 because there's nothing for me there. 389 00:22:38,108 --> 00:22:40,235 There's no reason for me to be anywhere, really, 390 00:22:40,319 --> 00:22:42,237 so might as well be nowhere. 391 00:22:48,285 --> 00:22:52,539 Carson! Carson! Carson! 392 00:22:53,207 --> 00:22:55,125 Well, well, well. 393 00:22:55,959 --> 00:22:57,669 I've walked these woods all my life. 394 00:22:57,753 --> 00:23:00,672 This is the first time I came across a six-foot snake. 395 00:23:00,756 --> 00:23:03,091 6'1", actually. And my BMI is 19-- 396 00:23:03,175 --> 00:23:07,221 Oh! 397 00:23:07,304 --> 00:23:08,889 That's for stealing my gal. 398 00:23:09,765 --> 00:23:13,393 She isn't even with me anymore, she's with Doc Lopez. 399 00:23:31,662 --> 00:23:34,581 ♪ I'm talking 'bout neon signs Smoke-filled rooms ♪ 400 00:23:34,665 --> 00:23:36,792 ♪ Billiard parlors and painted ladies ♪ 401 00:23:36,875 --> 00:23:38,877 ♪ Wanton women having children Out of wedlock ♪ 402 00:23:38,961 --> 00:23:41,004 ♪ Rowdy men using filthy language ♪ 403 00:23:41,088 --> 00:23:43,298 ♪ The devil himself dancing On your front porch ♪ 404 00:23:43,382 --> 00:23:45,384 ♪ Stealing your babies From their cribs at midnight ♪ 405 00:23:45,467 --> 00:23:47,553 ♪ Cows and sheep having amorous congress ♪ 406 00:23:47,636 --> 00:23:49,805 ♪ Children with the mark of the beast On their foreheads ♪ 407 00:23:49,888 --> 00:23:53,851 ♪ All thanks to these two out-of-towners Dr. Skinner and Miss Gimble ♪ 408 00:23:53,934 --> 00:23:58,230 ♪ Better hold on to your husband Best keep an eye on your wife ♪ 409 00:23:58,313 --> 00:24:01,984 ♪ There's gonna be Some tribulation and strife ♪ 410 00:24:02,067 --> 00:24:04,152 -♪ Oh, we've got strife ♪ -♪ Got strife ♪ 411 00:24:04,236 --> 00:24:06,989 -♪ And tribulation ♪ -♪ Tribulation ♪ 412 00:24:07,072 --> 00:24:10,826 -♪ And not to mention miscegenation ♪ -♪ Ooh, that sounds bad ♪ 413 00:24:10,909 --> 00:24:12,953 -♪ Let's pray the Lord ♪ -♪ Pray the Lord ♪ 414 00:24:13,036 --> 00:24:15,205 -♪ Will save us soon ♪ -♪ Save us soon ♪ 415 00:24:15,289 --> 00:24:18,667 ♪ 'Cause we've got strife And tribulation in Schmigadoon! ♪ 416 00:24:19,710 --> 00:24:21,879 -♪ It's time to vote ♪ -♪ To vote ♪ 417 00:24:21,962 --> 00:24:24,214 -♪ And vote for Layton ♪ -♪ Vote for Layton ♪ 418 00:24:24,298 --> 00:24:27,509 ♪ She is the only one who'll Save our town from Satan ♪ 419 00:24:27,593 --> 00:24:28,594 ♪ Save us now ♪ 420 00:24:28,677 --> 00:24:30,554 -♪ Let's hope that she ♪ -♪ Hope that she ♪ 421 00:24:30,637 --> 00:24:32,806 -♪ Will save us soon ♪ -♪ Save us soon ♪ 422 00:24:32,890 --> 00:24:35,642 ♪ 'Cause we've got strife And tribulation ♪ 423 00:24:35,726 --> 00:24:37,895 ♪ Strife and tribulation ♪ 424 00:24:37,978 --> 00:24:40,105 ♪ Grief and consternation ♪ 425 00:24:40,189 --> 00:24:42,274 ♪ Grief and consternation ♪ 426 00:24:42,357 --> 00:24:47,988 ♪ Strife and tribulation ♪ 427 00:24:48,071 --> 00:24:54,620 -♪ In Schmigadoon ♪