1
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(洛恩麥可斯呈獻)

2
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《歡迎來到施米加多!》

3
00:00:41,291 --> 00:00:44,711
(來到施米加多的三年又九個月前)

4
00:00:47,297 --> 00:00:49,091
他打開盒子了嗎?

5
00:00:50,509 --> 00:00:52,386
妳沒跟我說會有人裸體

6
00:00:52,469 --> 00:00:54,680
我不曉得,戴夫沒說

7
00:00:55,472 --> 00:00:58,016
不,戴夫會裸體嗎?

8
00:00:59,059 --> 00:01:02,020
他的角色名稱是 “未受保護的真相尋覓者”

9
00:01:02,104 --> 00:01:03,438
所以應該會吧

10
00:01:03,522 --> 00:01:05,147
我沒辦法看戴夫裸體

11
00:01:05,232 --> 00:01:06,567
你當然可以,我們是醫生

12
00:01:06,650 --> 00:01:08,986
我為膝蓋開刀,這已經超出我的...

13
00:01:09,069 --> 00:01:10,320
戴夫上場了

14
00:01:10,404 --> 00:01:11,405
放棄

15
00:01:12,239 --> 00:01:13,448
放棄

16
00:01:13,949 --> 00:01:16,660
因為我知道重點不是內容物

17
00:01:16,743 --> 00:01:17,744
對不起

18
00:01:17,828 --> 00:01:19,496
-對不起
-不好意思

19
00:01:19,580 --> 00:01:21,331
-對不起
-大騙子

20
00:01:21,415 --> 00:01:23,125
-我在努力
-走,快點

21
00:01:23,208 --> 00:01:24,459
踮腳尖走路

22
00:01:29,756 --> 00:01:31,175
(寂寞之屋劇院)

23
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天啊

24
00:01:37,431 --> 00:01:38,640
哇

25
00:01:39,433 --> 00:01:41,143
真美

26
00:01:41,935 --> 00:01:43,145
我扶住妳了

27
00:01:44,521 --> 00:01:45,647
我愛你

28
00:01:46,773 --> 00:01:48,692
我很抱歉,我剛才...

29
00:01:48,775 --> 00:01:50,652
我不想讓你有壓力

30
00:01:50,736 --> 00:01:54,406
而且在看到戴夫下體的當晚 說這句話超詭異,所以也許就...

31
00:01:54,489 --> 00:01:55,866
我也愛妳

32
00:02:08,503 --> 00:02:09,505
抱歉

33
00:02:09,588 --> 00:02:12,966
我和家長會面的時間是週四下午3點到5點

34
00:02:13,050 --> 00:02:14,426
幸好我不是家長

35
00:02:15,844 --> 00:02:18,222
我是喬許史金納,喬許史金納醫生

36
00:02:18,305 --> 00:02:20,182
我知道你是誰

37
00:02:21,183 --> 00:02:23,310
你讓可憐的貝琪麥當諾傷透了心

38
00:02:23,393 --> 00:02:25,395
接著又和鎮上所有女性過人行橋

39
00:02:25,479 --> 00:02:27,105
想藉這種可悲方式討到老婆

40
00:02:27,189 --> 00:02:29,775
事情順利嗎?找到好老婆了沒?

41
00:02:29,858 --> 00:02:31,401
我還在找

42
00:02:31,485 --> 00:02:33,153
請別浪費時間在這裡找

43
00:02:33,237 --> 00:02:35,822
就算給我100美金 我也不會和你一起過橋

44
00:02:35,906 --> 00:02:38,075
其實我是想找個地方住

45
00:02:38,158 --> 00:02:40,118
聽說校舍樓上有個空房要出租

46
00:02:40,202 --> 00:02:41,453
沒這回事

47
00:02:41,537 --> 00:02:44,331
好了,若你不介意
我有更重要的事情得做

48
00:02:44,414 --> 00:02:46,625
原來蜜爾芮雷頓也控制了妳

49
00:02:47,417 --> 00:02:48,418
蜜爾芮雷頓?

50
00:02:48,502 --> 00:02:52,798
她把我女友...前女友和我踢出旅社

51
00:02:52,881 --> 00:02:55,551
還讓所有鎮民嚇得半死,沒人敢接待我們

52
00:02:55,634 --> 00:02:57,135
那女人超討厭

53
00:02:57,219 --> 00:02:58,762
她老是愛管閒事

54
00:02:58,846 --> 00:03:01,223
竟規定我在課堂上該教授哪些知識

55
00:03:01,306 --> 00:03:04,560
她居然拿走我的野花書籍,劃掉所有雄蕊

56
00:03:04,643 --> 00:03:06,061
看來她對妳也很有意見

57
00:03:07,062 --> 00:03:08,480
對,我想也是

58
00:03:09,314 --> 00:03:12,192
所以她是怎樣?她控制了整座小鎮嗎?

59
00:03:12,276 --> 00:03:14,653
差不多,但她控制不了我

60
00:03:15,445 --> 00:03:17,906
我想到一個很好的方法能證明

61
00:03:23,412 --> 00:03:27,749
我想這裡確實用得上一位幹活的雜工

62
00:03:29,293 --> 00:03:30,669
以工換宿

63
00:03:30,752 --> 00:03:33,005
對,雜工

64
00:03:33,088 --> 00:03:37,217
我超會幹活 我家所有掛畫都是我掛的,一小時內搞定

65
00:03:38,135 --> 00:03:40,387
我都目測尺寸,挺厲害的喔

66
00:03:40,971 --> 00:03:43,056
你肯定覺得自己超有男子氣概

67
00:03:43,140 --> 00:03:45,184
你明天早上9點上工

68
00:03:45,267 --> 00:03:47,186
好,恕我失陪,我還有事情要做

69
00:03:47,269 --> 00:03:48,520
沒問題

70
00:03:49,938 --> 00:03:50,939
謝謝

71
00:04:03,118 --> 00:04:05,078
-8點好了
-沒問題

72
00:04:07,122 --> 00:04:08,999
我對護士的要求如下

73
00:04:09,082 --> 00:04:13,879
工作勤勞、紀律嚴明
並且願意服從我的每一項指令

74
00:04:14,630 --> 00:04:15,839
沒問題

75
00:04:16,632 --> 00:04:21,428
這麼說,羅培茲醫生
你用過很多位護士嗎?

76
00:04:22,221 --> 00:04:23,222
沒錯

77
00:04:24,431 --> 00:04:26,642
現在我要讓妳看看我的器具

78
00:04:27,768 --> 00:04:29,770
這叫做產科鑽鉗

79
00:04:30,687 --> 00:04:33,649
真的假的?看起來像吃龍蝦用的東西

80
00:04:36,109 --> 00:04:37,444
爸爸

81
00:04:38,278 --> 00:04:41,031
兒子,抱歉,我只是要拿個東西

82
00:04:41,740 --> 00:04:43,283
你拿了什麼?

83
00:04:44,660 --> 00:04:46,578
是什麼?給我看

84
00:04:48,956 --> 00:04:52,709
爸爸,那是手術用潤滑劑
你拿那個到底要做什麼?

85
00:04:53,460 --> 00:04:56,630
-私密用途
-要用我的潤滑劑就得說清楚

86
00:04:56,713 --> 00:04:58,757
別這樣,給他們就是了

87
00:04:58,841 --> 00:05:02,052
現在你們還鼓勵新護士質疑我的權威

88
00:05:02,135 --> 00:05:06,181
好啦,你媽媽和我正有興致

89
00:05:06,265 --> 00:05:08,725
這東西上次幫了大忙,所以...

90
00:05:08,809 --> 00:05:11,812
-爸爸,這裡有女士在場
-我沒差

91
00:05:11,895 --> 00:05:14,481
你們已經老到不適合做愛了 真是見不得人

92
00:05:14,565 --> 00:05:15,816
立刻放回去

93
00:05:19,903 --> 00:05:22,906
我道歉,妳看得出來我不喜歡被打擾

94
00:05:22,990 --> 00:05:26,118
-羅培茲醫生,不好意思,但...
-小女生,我說過我幫不了妳

95
00:05:26,201 --> 00:05:27,202
-可是我...
-南西

96
00:05:27,286 --> 00:05:30,205
如果妳決定要懷上非婚生子女 那是妳家的事

97
00:05:30,289 --> 00:05:33,292
但我不要跟這件事有瓜葛 現在請妳離開我的辦公室

98
00:05:33,375 --> 00:05:34,293
等等,什麼?

99
00:05:36,003 --> 00:05:37,754
你到底有什麼毛病?

100
00:05:37,838 --> 00:05:39,756
你不可以把那個女孩拒於門外

101
00:05:39,840 --> 00:05:42,134
我有權決定要醫治哪些病人

102
00:05:42,217 --> 00:05:44,344
但你是鎮上唯一的醫生

103
00:05:47,139 --> 00:05:48,140
靈光乍現

104
00:05:48,223 --> 00:05:53,145
E、P、I、P、H、A、N、Y,靈光乍現

105
00:05:53,228 --> 00:05:54,563
詹妮塔,很好

106
00:05:54,646 --> 00:05:57,482
湯米,你要拼的字是“心靈淨化”

107
00:05:58,400 --> 00:06:00,444
--心靈淨化,
-C、A...
-嘿

108
00:06:01,528 --> 00:06:04,823
各位同學,跟我們的新雜工道早安
他是史金納醫生

109
00:06:04,907 --> 00:06:08,035
史金納醫生,早安

110
00:06:09,536 --> 00:06:10,537
嘿,小朋友們

111
00:06:12,372 --> 00:06:13,373
你們好啊

112
00:06:15,292 --> 00:06:16,293
好,我該從何開始?

113
00:06:16,376 --> 00:06:19,129
備用品儲藏室的門已經卡住好幾週了

114
00:06:19,213 --> 00:06:20,172
我馬上處理

115
00:06:20,255 --> 00:06:22,174
好,湯米,重來一次

116
00:06:23,634 --> 00:06:26,053
-你要拼的字是“心靈淨化”
-泰特老師

117
00:06:27,179 --> 00:06:30,098
對,這真的卡得很緊,有其他事要做嗎?

118
00:06:30,182 --> 00:06:31,517
所以你要放棄了?

119
00:06:31,600 --> 00:06:34,186
不,我沒有放棄,只是找下一件事來做

120
00:06:34,269 --> 00:06:36,647
那就是放棄

121
00:06:36,730 --> 00:06:39,483
各位同學,莎士比亞對此有什麼看法?

122
00:06:40,067 --> 00:06:42,736
“怯懦之人在死之前已死過好幾遍

123
00:06:42,819 --> 00:06:45,948
勇猛之人僅會嚐到一次死的滋味”

124
00:06:46,698 --> 00:06:51,787
莎士比亞總是如此有見地 又描述得如此優美

125
00:06:51,870 --> 00:06:53,121
那句話究竟什麼意思?

126
00:06:53,705 --> 00:06:57,000
意思是逃避問題永遠不會得到回報

127
00:06:57,793 --> 00:07:00,295
我看看該怎麼解釋才好

128
00:07:01,046 --> 00:07:04,883
說真的,不需要用音樂劇
解釋這件事,我懂

129
00:07:04,967 --> 00:07:11,849
當你有事情要做,就得全心投入

130
00:07:11,932 --> 00:07:15,894
人生至高無上的快樂,就是男孩與女孩

131
00:07:15,978 --> 00:07:18,981
從頭到尾完成一件事

132
00:07:19,064 --> 00:07:23,402
逃避的人一碰上難題就逃跑是因為

133
00:07:23,485 --> 00:07:26,029
事情再也不好玩

134
00:07:26,113 --> 00:07:29,324
但眾人的掌聲只會送給

135
00:07:29,408 --> 00:07:33,036
堅持不懈直到完成的人

136
00:07:33,120 --> 00:07:35,873
-是啊
-有時候你會覺得

137
00:07:36,748 --> 00:07:39,459
“沒有我能做的事”

138
00:07:40,210 --> 00:07:44,715
但是半途而廢的生活不算人生

139
00:07:46,175 --> 00:07:47,176
別這樣,好吧

140
00:07:47,259 --> 00:07:54,224
所以有個好建議,我很樂意告訴你

141
00:07:54,308 --> 00:07:59,062
你必須時時盡力,用心做到最好

142
00:08:00,314 --> 00:08:03,150
泰特老師說得對 你怎麼能過著半途而廢的生活?

143
00:08:03,233 --> 00:08:04,818
或當別人一半的朋友?

144
00:08:04,902 --> 00:08:07,154
史金納醫生,為什麼你老是放棄?

145
00:08:07,237 --> 00:08:08,280
對,為什麼呢?

146
00:08:08,363 --> 00:08:09,364
(傻瓜)

147
00:08:09,448 --> 00:08:11,158
嘿,別唸了,不過是扇門

148
00:08:11,241 --> 00:08:12,492
是這樣嗎?

149
00:08:13,702 --> 00:08:17,581
-當你有事情要做
-當你有事情要做

150
00:08:17,664 --> 00:08:21,001
-就得全心投入
-就得全心投入

151
00:08:21,084 --> 00:08:22,461
人生至高無上的快樂

152
00:08:22,544 --> 00:08:24,338
-就是男孩與女孩
-男孩與女孩

153
00:08:24,421 --> 00:08:28,008
-從頭到尾完成一件事
-從、頭、到、尾

154
00:08:28,091 --> 00:08:31,136
逃避的人一碰上難題就逃跑

155
00:08:31,220 --> 00:08:34,847
-是因為事情再也不好玩
-好、玩

156
00:08:34,932 --> 00:08:38,184
但眾人的掌聲只會送給

157
00:08:38,268 --> 00:08:41,938
堅持不懈直到完成的人

158
00:08:42,022 --> 00:08:45,567
-有時候你會覺得
-有時候你會覺得

159
00:08:45,651 --> 00:08:49,196
-“沒有我能做的事”
-“沒有我能做的事”

160
00:08:49,279 --> 00:08:51,865
但是半途而廢的生活

161
00:08:51,949 --> 00:08:56,036
-不算人生
-不算人、生

162
00:08:56,119 --> 00:09:03,043
所以有個好建議,我很樂意告訴你

163
00:09:03,126 --> 00:09:07,714
你必須時時盡力,用心做到最好

164
00:09:09,299 --> 00:09:11,468
你不愛唱歌,對吧?我懂

165
00:09:11,552 --> 00:09:13,178
我不擅長音樂

166
00:10:19,369 --> 00:10:21,914
所以有個好建議

167
00:10:21,997 --> 00:10:24,416
我很樂意告訴你

168
00:10:24,499 --> 00:10:27,169
你必須時時盡力

169
00:10:28,670 --> 00:10:30,839
克服人生的挑戰

170
00:10:32,382 --> 00:10:37,012
你必須時時盡力

171
00:10:37,095 --> 00:10:38,347
用心做到

172
00:10:38,430 --> 00:10:40,599
最好

173
00:10:40,682 --> 00:10:42,851
用、心、做、到、最、好

174
00:10:42,935 --> 00:10:44,144
用心做到最好

175
00:10:46,730 --> 00:10:48,106
太棒了

176
00:10:48,815 --> 00:10:51,568
他們幹嘛笑?剛才那段又不好笑

177
00:10:56,615 --> 00:11:01,036
(施米加多,多元信仰烘焙義賣會)

178
00:11:02,913 --> 00:11:07,000
(長老教會,衛理公會)

179
00:11:20,764 --> 00:11:22,099
有什麼想要的嗎?

180
00:11:23,392 --> 00:11:25,185
你推薦哪一樣?

181
00:11:25,269 --> 00:11:28,063
多數鎮民喜歡海倫普里的玉米脆餅

182
00:11:28,146 --> 00:11:30,107
或波莉阿姨的糖蜜餡餅

183
00:11:30,190 --> 00:11:33,485
可惜好像沒人對我的大黃方塊酥餅感興趣

184
00:11:33,569 --> 00:11:35,696
我喜歡大黃方塊酥餅

185
00:11:35,779 --> 00:11:37,239
真的嗎?我也是

186
00:11:38,323 --> 00:11:40,033
我還以為只有我喜歡

187
00:11:40,742 --> 00:11:42,578
確實不是大家都愛吃

188
00:11:44,872 --> 00:11:46,665
-我要來兩塊
-太棒了

189
00:11:49,960 --> 00:11:52,796
來,我不想獨自享用

190
00:11:52,880 --> 00:11:54,131
謝謝

191
00:11:56,550 --> 00:11:58,051
霍華,別忘了你要控制飲食

192
00:11:58,135 --> 00:12:00,804
我們可不想又從閣樓拿出你的大尺碼褲子

193
00:12:00,888 --> 00:12:02,431
蜜爾芮,對不起

194
00:12:25,621 --> 00:12:26,830
找到妳了

195
00:12:27,664 --> 00:12:30,167
南西,別擔心,不...我是來幫忙的

196
00:12:30,250 --> 00:12:31,877
我想這位是孩子的爸爸吧?

197
00:12:31,960 --> 00:12:33,879
對,女士,我是海軍水兵弗萊迪德里格斯

198
00:12:33,962 --> 00:12:35,714
謝謝你報效國家

199
00:12:37,299 --> 00:12:39,676
妳懷孕了,還住在這間簡陋小屋?

200
00:12:39,760 --> 00:12:41,595
我爸媽不想被人說閒話

201
00:12:41,678 --> 00:12:43,639
但請別告訴他們弗萊迪在這裡

202
00:12:43,722 --> 00:12:45,265
我和南西想結婚,真的

203
00:12:45,349 --> 00:12:47,142
但她媽媽不喜歡水手

204
00:12:47,226 --> 00:12:50,020
因為我們太常罵髒話,抱歉

205
00:12:50,103 --> 00:12:51,563
所以我們結不了婚

206
00:12:51,647 --> 00:12:53,273
嘿,我不會指責你們

207
00:12:53,357 --> 00:12:56,193
我只想確定妳和寶寶平安無事

208
00:12:56,276 --> 00:12:57,444
妳懷胎幾個月了?

209
00:12:57,528 --> 00:13:01,156
我不確定,我有好多問題
但不知道該問誰才好

210
00:13:02,574 --> 00:13:04,076
比方說,寶寶會從哪裡生出來?

211
00:13:04,159 --> 00:13:07,329
我覺得有幾個可能的地方 但想起來都很荒唐

212
00:13:07,412 --> 00:13:10,457
南西,寶寶會從妳的陰道生出來

213
00:13:11,500 --> 00:13:12,501
真的嗎?

214
00:13:12,584 --> 00:13:14,670
女士,就連我也說不出這種粗話

215
00:13:14,753 --> 00:13:18,090
弗萊迪,那只是醫學名詞,沒什麼好怕的

216
00:13:18,924 --> 00:13:22,261
我看看怎麼說比較好懂

217
00:13:27,516 --> 00:13:31,395
陰道是陰莖進入的地方

218
00:13:31,478 --> 00:13:34,898
卵巢為你我製造卵子

219
00:13:35,858 --> 00:13:39,111
睪丸是精子休眠的處所

220
00:13:39,194 --> 00:13:42,948
子宮頸能讓它們自在悠遊

221
00:13:43,615 --> 00:13:46,952
輸卵管是精卵相遇之處

222
00:13:47,828 --> 00:13:51,540
子宮是細胞開始萌芽的位置

223
00:13:51,623 --> 00:13:55,335
胎盤為細胞供應營養

224
00:13:55,419 --> 00:13:59,131
直到寶寶出生那一刻

225
00:14:00,507 --> 00:14:02,467
-從陰道嗎?
-沒錯

226
00:14:02,551 --> 00:14:03,635
現在跟我一起唱

227
00:14:05,470 --> 00:14:09,474
-陰道
-是陰莖進入的地方

228
00:14:09,558 --> 00:14:13,562
-卵巢
-為你我製造卵子

229
00:14:13,645 --> 00:14:17,441
-睪丸
-是精子休眠的處所

230
00:14:17,524 --> 00:14:21,528
-子宮頸
-能讓它們自在悠遊

231
00:14:21,612 --> 00:14:25,574
-輸卵管
-是精卵相遇之處

232
00:14:25,657 --> 00:14:29,328
-子宮
-是細胞開始萌芽的位置

233
00:14:29,411 --> 00:14:32,998
-胎盤
-為細胞供應營養

234
00:14:33,081 --> 00:14:37,753
直到寶寶從陰道出生那一刻

235
00:14:42,216 --> 00:14:44,384
好痛,可惡的東西

236
00:14:48,847 --> 00:14:51,558
這肯定就是大名鼎鼎的史金納家的直覺

237
00:14:51,642 --> 00:14:55,604
嘿,我只是想盡力,用心做到最好

238
00:14:55,687 --> 00:14:58,440
好吧,顯然那扇門把你打敗了

239
00:14:59,149 --> 00:15:01,485
不如明天再攻擊工具箱吧?

240
00:15:02,903 --> 00:15:04,363
你這傢伙

241
00:15:04,446 --> 00:15:05,948
別開槍

242
00:15:06,031 --> 00:15:07,324
我不會開槍

243
00:15:07,407 --> 00:15:09,409
因為你現在要跟我和我家的貝琪

244
00:15:09,493 --> 00:15:10,869
一起去教堂舉行婚禮

245
00:15:10,953 --> 00:15:11,912
什麼?

246
00:15:11,995 --> 00:15:15,457
喂,你給我聽好,派翠克麥杜果麥當諾

247
00:15:15,541 --> 00:15:16,959
你不准闖入我的教室

248
00:15:17,042 --> 00:15:18,669
舉著槍亂揮,像瘋子般鬼吼鬼叫

249
00:15:18,752 --> 00:15:19,753
聽懂了沒?

250
00:15:19,837 --> 00:15:21,171
聽懂了,老師

251
00:15:21,255 --> 00:15:23,131
你真的如此小看你女兒

252
00:15:23,215 --> 00:15:25,968
覺得必須用恐嚇的方式逼男人娶她?

253
00:15:26,051 --> 00:15:28,470
-爸爸,真的嗎?
-這個嘛,我心想...

254
00:15:28,554 --> 00:15:31,265
我看你那顆腦袋是沒在想

255
00:15:31,348 --> 00:15:34,685
但你要回家,好好反省自己的行為

256
00:15:34,768 --> 00:15:36,895
讓你女兒好好過自己的日子

257
00:15:36,979 --> 00:15:39,106
-有聽懂嗎?
-老師,我有

258
00:15:40,065 --> 00:15:41,066
槍可以還我嗎?

259
00:15:41,149 --> 00:15:44,778
等我確定你學到教訓再還,現在請回吧

260
00:15:52,578 --> 00:15:53,579
謝謝

261
00:15:54,288 --> 00:15:58,625
當個鎮上唯一有頭腦的人肯定不容易

262
00:15:58,709 --> 00:16:01,795
他們沒那麼糟,只是舊習難改

263
00:16:02,754 --> 00:16:05,674
我試著鼓勵他們更現代一點,不過...

264
00:16:06,925 --> 00:16:08,427
你聽過胸罩嗎?

265
00:16:09,720 --> 00:16:12,014
-是有聽過
-那真是美好的新發明

266
00:16:12,097 --> 00:16:15,184
解放了女性胸部,不用再受馬甲的束縛

267
00:16:15,267 --> 00:16:16,560
我超愛的

268
00:16:16,643 --> 00:16:20,355
不過,蜜爾芮和那幫老太婆
當然禁止了胸罩,有夠誇張

269
00:16:20,439 --> 00:16:22,733
太誇張了,胸罩超棒的

270
00:16:24,484 --> 00:16:27,654
我想我們在你眼中肯定全都是封閉又守舊

271
00:16:27,738 --> 00:16:30,782
畢竟你是個來自國際大都市的人

272
00:16:31,491 --> 00:16:34,453
你住的地方是什麼模樣?大都市

273
00:16:35,829 --> 00:16:37,039
這個嘛...

274
00:16:38,415 --> 00:16:40,125
不...

275
00:16:40,209 --> 00:16:43,420
-抱歉,我不是有意...
-我不要搞這個

276
00:16:43,504 --> 00:16:46,256
好,沒問題,別告訴我

277
00:16:46,340 --> 00:16:48,842
-史金納醫生,祝你今晚過得愉快
-不...

278
00:16:54,389 --> 00:16:56,683
彼特,從今以後

279
00:16:56,767 --> 00:17:00,646
你離滾燙的 玉米布丁糕鍋子遠一點,好嗎?

280
00:17:00,729 --> 00:17:02,940
因為你的手腳有夠笨拙

281
00:17:12,199 --> 00:17:13,242
好痛

282
00:17:17,412 --> 00:17:20,249
看來妳成了護士,醫生去哪了?

283
00:17:20,332 --> 00:17:21,290
他去釣魚了

284
00:17:21,375 --> 00:17:23,085
你想幹嘛?你來做什麼?

285
00:17:24,377 --> 00:17:26,046
我有點...我原本...

286
00:17:26,128 --> 00:17:27,881
-你需要我幫忙
-對

287
00:17:27,964 --> 00:17:30,050
你認真?不知道你記不記得

288
00:17:30,133 --> 00:17:32,219
但我們分手了,而且我恨你

289
00:17:32,302 --> 00:17:35,097
我知道...但我找不到別人幫忙,拜託啦

290
00:17:36,849 --> 00:17:37,891
好啦,什麼事?

291
00:17:37,975 --> 00:17:39,810
好,妳記得我之前想和鎮上所有女人

292
00:17:39,893 --> 00:17:40,894
一起過橋嗎?

293
00:17:40,978 --> 00:17:43,063
對,我記得

294
00:17:43,146 --> 00:17:45,899
鎮上還有一個女人沒試過 艾瑪泰特,學校的女老師

295
00:17:45,983 --> 00:17:47,860
所以我覺得她肯定是我離開的管道

296
00:17:47,943 --> 00:17:49,695
你想和學校老師譜出真愛?

297
00:17:49,778 --> 00:17:52,030
我不曉得,我只知道情況不順利

298
00:17:52,114 --> 00:17:54,408
昨天我們在聊天,音樂沒頭沒腦地傳出來

299
00:17:54,491 --> 00:17:55,367
她就氣沖沖地走了

300
00:17:55,450 --> 00:17:57,911
-你應該要唱歌才對
-大概吧

301
00:17:57,995 --> 00:18:00,998
喬許,你在音樂劇裡,音樂劇就是這樣

302
00:18:01,081 --> 00:18:02,791
情緒澎湃到說不出話時,就用唱的

303
00:18:02,875 --> 00:18:04,626
情緒澎湃到唱不了歌時,就跳舞

304
00:18:04,710 --> 00:18:06,503
那情緒澎湃到無法跳舞時呢?

305
00:18:06,587 --> 00:18:08,005
會回到用說的嗎?

306
00:18:08,088 --> 00:18:10,090
因為我現在就是處在這種狀況

307
00:18:10,174 --> 00:18:12,843
聽著,肯定有別的方法,妳瞭解音樂劇

308
00:18:12,926 --> 00:18:15,721
能不能給我提示?
比如說,這是哪種音樂劇?

309
00:18:16,805 --> 00:18:20,267
我現在天人交戰,打從心底不想幫你

310
00:18:20,350 --> 00:18:23,520
又想大肆炫耀我對音樂劇的瞭解

311
00:18:24,813 --> 00:18:26,190
媽的,好吧

312
00:18:26,273 --> 00:18:30,110
她是老師,身邊帶著一個小男孩
和《歡樂音樂妙無窮》的劇情很像

313
00:18:30,194 --> 00:18:31,486
我是裡面的哪個角色?

314
00:18:31,570 --> 00:18:34,948
哈洛德希爾,一個沒心沒肺的自戀狂
需要改改他的個性

315
00:18:35,032 --> 00:18:36,700
-好吧
-或也可能是《國王與我》

316
00:18:36,783 --> 00:18:38,827
-我在那部戲裡是...
-一個沒心沒肺的自戀狂

317
00:18:38,911 --> 00:18:39,912
需要改改他的個性

318
00:18:39,995 --> 00:18:42,414
好,現在我覺得妳只是藉機酸我

319
00:18:42,497 --> 00:18:44,458
-喬許,你非唱不可
-門都沒有

320
00:18:44,541 --> 00:18:47,419
《歡樂音樂妙無窮》的主角
如何贏得那位老師的芳心?

321
00:18:48,086 --> 00:18:50,547
-他送她弟弟一把小喇叭
-為什麼?

322
00:18:51,089 --> 00:18:53,759
什麼為什麼?我不知道
你要知道全部劇情才行嗎?

323
00:18:53,842 --> 00:18:55,135
-你有多少時間?
-算了

324
00:18:55,219 --> 00:18:56,428
送小喇叭給她弟弟,懂了

325
00:18:56,512 --> 00:18:58,639
-我覺得不只那樣而已

326
00:18:58,722 --> 00:19:00,349
-梅麗莎護士
-我是醫生

327
00:19:00,432 --> 00:19:02,059
我覺得我要生了

328
00:19:02,142 --> 00:19:03,769
好,進來,我幫妳接生

329
00:19:03,852 --> 00:19:05,687
-可是羅培茲醫生...
-管他的羅培茲醫生

330
00:19:05,771 --> 00:19:07,147
妳快躺上診療台

331
00:19:12,402 --> 00:19:13,403
好

332
00:19:13,487 --> 00:19:15,030
你在幹嘛?

333
00:19:15,113 --> 00:19:16,281
我想妳需要幫忙

334
00:19:17,741 --> 00:19:19,284
對,沒錯

335
00:19:30,546 --> 00:19:31,755
真是太厲害了

336
00:19:32,881 --> 00:19:34,758
-妳好厲害
-沒有啦

337
00:19:34,842 --> 00:19:36,885
-真的有
-好吧,我有

338
00:19:36,969 --> 00:19:40,097
但是憑良心說,在音樂劇裡接生
讓情況變得挺簡單的

339
00:19:40,180 --> 00:19:42,850
我第一次接生到全身乾爽的寶寶

340
00:19:42,933 --> 00:19:44,017
對,超怪的

341
00:19:44,601 --> 00:19:47,145
但有你幫忙的感覺很好,謝謝

342
00:19:47,980 --> 00:19:49,356
我很高興能幫上忙

343
00:19:52,109 --> 00:19:54,361
我想你最好快去找小喇叭

344
00:19:55,737 --> 00:19:56,947
對,好

345
00:19:58,198 --> 00:19:59,324
祝你好運

346
00:20:00,492 --> 00:20:02,578
-我也祝妳好運
-謝謝

347
00:20:25,684 --> 00:20:28,812
(出生證明,名字:弗萊迪二世)

348
00:20:29,813 --> 00:20:31,148
我聽到的是真的嗎?

349
00:20:31,231 --> 00:20:33,817
妳違背我的指令,為南西接生?

350
00:20:33,901 --> 00:20:35,611
對,因為我是醫生

351
00:20:35,694 --> 00:20:39,489
我真的是,你知道醫生的職責是什麼嗎?

352
00:20:39,573 --> 00:20:40,824
幫助他人

353
00:20:40,908 --> 00:20:42,284
妳無權那麼做

354
00:20:42,367 --> 00:20:44,953
這是我的診所,規矩是我定的

355
00:20:45,037 --> 00:20:47,706
說到這個,為什麼這管潤滑劑
出現在我父母的床頭櫃上?

356
00:20:47,789 --> 00:20:48,999
我拿給他們的

357
00:20:49,625 --> 00:20:53,045
妳毫無界線又不守規矩

358
00:20:55,255 --> 00:20:57,674
我不守規矩?

359
00:20:57,758 --> 00:21:00,260
你拒絕治療需要照護的女性

360
00:21:00,344 --> 00:21:04,223
抱歉,我不管你長得多麼驚為天人

361
00:21:04,306 --> 00:21:06,350
你大錯特錯,不管是對南西

362
00:21:06,433 --> 00:21:08,393
你父母或一切事物的看法

363
00:21:08,477 --> 00:21:11,647
如果你父母想做愛,就讓他們做

364
00:21:11,730 --> 00:21:13,398
其實呢,不如這樣

365
00:21:13,941 --> 00:21:16,944
我不只要繼續鼓勵你父母上床

366
00:21:17,027 --> 00:21:19,947
我還要教他們如何讓性生活變得更美好

367
00:21:20,030 --> 00:21:21,740
我要教他們《慾經》的每種姿勢

368
00:21:21,823 --> 00:21:24,576
純粹享受歡愉的快樂

369
00:21:24,660 --> 00:21:29,790
最後,儘管有你這個掃興鬼在身邊
他們往後終於能真正享受人生

370
00:21:32,626 --> 00:21:35,838
我們今天在此齊聚一堂

371
00:21:35,921 --> 00:21:37,339
向老羅培茲醫生道別

372
00:21:37,422 --> 00:21:40,050
他在本週驟然離世

373
00:21:40,133 --> 00:21:42,970
由於他當時在嘗試所謂的

374
00:21:43,053 --> 00:21:44,596
“埃及六九式”

375
00:21:45,889 --> 00:21:48,267
我們都經歷過悲傷

376
00:21:48,350 --> 00:21:51,979
但羅培茲家族似乎承受了過多悲痛

377
00:21:52,938 --> 00:21:55,649
兩年前,我在此唸誦悼詞

378
00:21:55,732 --> 00:21:58,277
悼念荷希親愛的妻子諾瑪

379
00:22:00,195 --> 00:22:03,740
人生遇上此等悲劇時,究竟該怎麼做?

380
00:22:04,950 --> 00:22:08,537
此刻,上帝的愛是如此遙遠

381
00:22:09,705 --> 00:22:12,291
希望是如此遙不可及

382
00:22:15,002 --> 00:22:16,628
-嗨
-嗨

383
00:22:17,754 --> 00:22:19,006
妳還好嗎?

384
00:22:19,089 --> 00:22:20,382
是我害的

385
00:22:20,465 --> 00:22:24,845
是我鼓勵他多方嘗試性愛體位

386
00:22:24,928 --> 00:22:26,889
他不管怎樣都會心臟病發

387
00:22:26,972 --> 00:22:28,849
妳知道的,對吧?之前只是還沒發作

388
00:22:28,932 --> 00:22:30,809
-有位智者曾說...
-大概是吧

389
00:22:32,603 --> 00:22:34,188
那位就是妳的醫生吧?

390
00:22:34,271 --> 00:22:37,649
以他的年紀而言,他長得不錯嘛

391
00:22:38,567 --> 00:22:40,485
你和學校老師進展得如何?

392
00:22:40,569 --> 00:22:42,487
我哪裡都找不到小喇叭

393
00:22:42,571 --> 00:22:45,115
我依然不懂為何那麼做會讓她愛上我

394
00:22:45,199 --> 00:22:48,118
音樂劇的浪漫情節 並不總是有邏輯可言,好嗎?

395
00:22:48,202 --> 00:22:50,787
所以通常才會用歌曲訴說故事

396
00:22:50,871 --> 00:22:52,080
我才不唱歌

397
00:22:52,164 --> 00:22:55,167
我們是否善用人生的每一刻?

398
00:22:56,710 --> 00:22:59,379
我們有沒有勇氣,總是追尋心之所望?

399
00:23:00,339 --> 00:23:03,842
我們是否充分運用 上帝給我們的所有恩賜?

400
00:23:03,926 --> 00:23:07,221
他說得很好,對不對?
追尋心之所望那一段

401
00:23:08,472 --> 00:23:11,892
我很想,真的,但...

402
00:23:11,975 --> 00:23:16,063
因為我們在人世短暫停留,全拜上帝所賜

403
00:23:17,022 --> 00:23:20,567
祂不會希望我們浪費人生的一分一秒

404
00:23:22,694 --> 00:23:23,904
妳知道嗎?

405
00:23:24,988 --> 00:23:25,989
妳說得對

406
00:23:26,073 --> 00:23:29,701
有位智者曾說:“星辰永遠閃耀

407
00:23:30,702 --> 00:23:33,622
-但只有在夜裡...”
-糟糕,我不是說現在

408
00:23:33,705 --> 00:23:36,542
牧師,我有件事想說

409
00:23:36,625 --> 00:23:37,918
鎮長先生,沒問題

410
00:23:41,296 --> 00:23:42,756
牧師說得對

411
00:23:43,465 --> 00:23:46,969
人生寶貴,我們不該浪費一分一秒

412
00:23:48,720 --> 00:23:49,805
所以...

413
00:23:50,514 --> 00:23:53,934
我好幾年來都想說一件事

414
00:23:55,018 --> 00:23:56,603
但總是沒有勇氣

415
00:23:58,397 --> 00:23:59,398
芙羅倫斯

416
00:24:00,148 --> 00:24:02,568
親愛的,我真的好愛妳

417
00:24:04,069 --> 00:24:05,070
可是...

418
00:24:06,655 --> 00:24:09,157
我是同性戀

419
00:24:11,535 --> 00:24:12,744
你是什麼?

420
00:24:14,913 --> 00:24:19,960
我是同性戀

421
00:24:20,043 --> 00:24:25,340
再也不必話中有話

422
00:24:25,424 --> 00:24:27,801
我喜歡男人

423
00:24:28,427 --> 00:24:32,890
不是你,兄弟,你很無趣

424
00:24:34,099 --> 00:24:41,064
但我是同性戀

425
00:24:47,446 --> 00:24:48,864
芙羅倫斯,等一下

426
00:25:00,792 --> 00:25:03,462
-嗨,卡森
-嗨,史金納醫生

427
00:25:03,545 --> 00:25:05,255
我帶了個小東西要送你

428
00:25:07,382 --> 00:25:08,383
這是什麼?

429
00:25:08,467 --> 00:25:09,593
這是卡祖笛

430
00:25:09,676 --> 00:25:12,221
我知道你可能比較喜歡小喇叭 但鎮上沒有

431
00:25:12,304 --> 00:25:13,764
而且卡祖笛棒多了

432
00:25:13,847 --> 00:25:16,266
因為不用去上課,也不用練習之類的

433
00:25:16,350 --> 00:25:18,560
只要往裡頭吹氣,就會傳出音樂

434
00:25:23,398 --> 00:25:25,359
其他同學只會取笑我

435
00:25:26,109 --> 00:25:29,488
-為何這麼說?
-因為他們老是取笑我

436
00:25:29,571 --> 00:25:32,574
我是邊緣人,就是和大家格格不入

437
00:25:35,160 --> 00:25:36,495
老弟,我知道你的感覺

438
00:25:37,162 --> 00:25:38,622
-真的嗎?
-當然

439
00:25:38,705 --> 00:25:41,166
我以前念醫學院時,也和大家格格不入

440
00:25:41,250 --> 00:25:43,544
那裡沒有一個人和我一樣

441
00:25:43,627 --> 00:25:46,922
老實說,有時候挺孤單的

442
00:25:47,005 --> 00:25:49,258
但你知道我怎麼做嗎?我決定管他們去死

443
00:25:49,341 --> 00:25:50,509
管他們去死?

444
00:25:52,970 --> 00:25:56,306
我發現別人的想法並不重要

445
00:25:56,390 --> 00:25:58,392
我自己的想法才重要

446
00:25:58,475 --> 00:26:01,270
所以我努力念書,當上醫生

447
00:26:01,353 --> 00:26:03,355
現在我有超多朋友

448
00:26:03,981 --> 00:26:07,526
包括卡梅羅安東尼,他是知名籃球員

449
00:26:07,609 --> 00:26:11,822
我有一次治好他的膝傷 後來他送我場邊座位的票

450
00:26:11,905 --> 00:26:15,409
那種票一張要價兩千五百美元耶

451
00:26:15,492 --> 00:26:17,703
-哇
-沒錯,所以來吧

452
00:26:18,912 --> 00:26:19,913
吹吹看

453
00:26:25,878 --> 00:26:27,087
沒錯

454
00:26:30,340 --> 00:26:32,467
哇,我吹出來了,我吹出了音樂

455
00:26:33,260 --> 00:26:36,180
-姊姊...
-什麼事?

456
00:26:36,263 --> 00:26:38,891
史金納醫生給我一個史上最棒的東西

457
00:26:38,974 --> 00:26:41,518
卡祖笛,妳看,我能吹出音樂

458
00:26:46,690 --> 00:26:48,066
太棒了

459
00:26:52,571 --> 00:26:53,780
真他媽的,成功了

460
00:27:07,920 --> 00:27:08,921
醫生

461
00:27:11,089 --> 00:27:12,090
你沒事吧?

462
00:27:13,634 --> 00:27:17,846
梅麗莎,抱歉,我只是在屋外想事情

463
00:27:18,889 --> 00:27:20,140
今天挺折騰的

464
00:27:21,266 --> 00:27:24,061
我不曉得你的妻子過世了

465
00:27:24,144 --> 00:27:27,439
我很遺憾,你肯定深愛著她

466
00:27:28,398 --> 00:27:30,192
對,沒錯

467
00:27:30,275 --> 00:27:34,571
然後,我想跟你說
我真的很遺憾你爸爸就這麼走了

468
00:27:35,364 --> 00:27:38,033
我覺得若不是因為我,他可能還活著

469
00:27:38,116 --> 00:27:40,869
不...梅麗莎,千萬別自責

470
00:27:40,953 --> 00:27:42,329
別這麼想

471
00:27:42,412 --> 00:27:46,416
多虧有妳,他的最後一段日子
充滿了歡笑與愛

472
00:27:47,751 --> 00:27:49,878
我什麼貢獻也沒有,完全沒有...

473
00:27:49,962 --> 00:27:52,840
我是荷希賽巴提安費德里科羅培茲醫生

474
00:27:52,923 --> 00:27:56,218
一個有控制狂的完美主義者 就是不讓別人做自己

475
00:27:56,301 --> 00:27:59,304
我恨自己這種個性,有夠討厭

476
00:27:59,388 --> 00:28:03,934
這個嘛,其實那些特質也有好的一面

477
00:28:04,017 --> 00:28:05,602
我就是這樣告訴自己

478
00:28:05,686 --> 00:28:08,689
但我如此說服自己時 也讓我愛的人過得痛苦不堪

479
00:28:09,731 --> 00:28:13,527
但之後妳來了,挺身反抗我
並坦白說出內心想法

480
00:28:13,610 --> 00:28:16,071
沒錯,我起先超討厭那樣

481
00:28:16,154 --> 00:28:17,573
但現在我知道...

482
00:28:18,907 --> 00:28:20,158
妳是對的

483
00:28:20,784 --> 00:28:23,620
而我是錯的,一切都錯了

484
00:28:23,704 --> 00:28:27,833
這是男人對我說過最性感的一番話

485
00:28:27,916 --> 00:28:30,252
梅麗莎,妳改變了我

486
00:28:31,503 --> 00:28:32,504
謝謝

487
00:28:38,760 --> 00:28:40,304
這東西究竟怎麼用?

488
00:28:43,015 --> 00:28:44,016
修得怎麼樣?

489
00:28:45,517 --> 00:28:46,518
修不好

490
00:28:48,437 --> 00:28:50,522
我應該是史上最爛的雜工

491
00:28:50,606 --> 00:28:52,232
我來這裡一週了,卻什麼都沒修好

492
00:28:52,316 --> 00:28:53,483
除了卡森

493
00:28:54,318 --> 00:28:56,320
謝謝你幫他的忙

494
00:28:57,196 --> 00:29:00,866
他無父無母,成長的過程很辛苦

495
00:29:01,491 --> 00:29:04,161
我試著教導他人生中幾件重要的事情

496
00:29:04,244 --> 00:29:09,041
要有同情心,做人要正直
通常還有第三件事才對

497
00:29:09,124 --> 00:29:12,211
但顯然有好多事情我都不許他做

498
00:29:12,294 --> 00:29:13,837
嘿,別對自己那麼嚴厲

499
00:29:13,921 --> 00:29:16,465
他是個乖孩子,多虧有妳

500
00:29:16,548 --> 00:29:18,383
鎮上很多人不這麼覺得

501
00:29:18,467 --> 00:29:19,718
誰管他們怎麼想?

502
00:29:20,552 --> 00:29:22,387
他們全部加起來都不及妳一個

503
00:29:25,057 --> 00:29:26,934
喬許史金納

504
00:29:27,017 --> 00:29:29,478
你不是我心中所想的那種人

505
00:29:31,522 --> 00:29:32,606
醫生

506
00:29:32,689 --> 00:29:35,609
梅麗莎,鎮長今天的舉動啟發了我

507
00:29:36,860 --> 00:29:40,572
我知道很突然,但我不想再浪費任何一刻

508
00:29:41,365 --> 00:29:46,870
我發現自己突然忘卻

509
00:29:47,538 --> 00:29:53,126
縈繞腦中的所有思緒

510
00:29:53,210 --> 00:29:58,131
我突然想籌備婚禮

511
00:29:58,799 --> 00:30:04,346
儘管我知道這再荒唐不過

512
00:30:05,013 --> 00:30:10,018
尋求解釋毫無意義可言

513
00:30:10,936 --> 00:30:16,149
目的、地點、原因、時間與方法都不重要

514
00:30:16,859 --> 00:30:22,364
我只知道我突然愛上妳

515
00:30:23,031 --> 00:30:29,955
這突然成為此刻唯一重要的事

516
00:30:31,164 --> 00:30:34,501
-艾瑪
-這麼說也許很唐突,好吧,確實如此

517
00:30:35,335 --> 00:30:37,671
但在今天葬禮的插曲之後

518
00:30:37,754 --> 00:30:40,924
我覺得不該把感情藏在心底

519
00:30:41,508 --> 00:30:46,763
我好像突然不再是老師

520
00:30:47,389 --> 00:30:51,935
我要學的事情還很多

521
00:30:53,061 --> 00:30:58,567
我突然想找位牧師

522
00:30:58,650 --> 00:31:03,739
而那是我過去嗤之以鼻的想法

523
00:31:04,781 --> 00:31:10,120
尋求解釋毫無意義可言

524
00:31:10,662 --> 00:31:15,959
目的、地點、原因、時間與方法都不重要

525
00:31:16,752 --> 00:31:22,758
我只知道我突然愛上你

526
00:31:22,841 --> 00:31:29,431
這突然成為此刻唯一重要的事

527
00:31:59,002 --> 00:32:04,758
尋求解釋毫無意義可言

528
00:32:04,842 --> 00:32:10,514
目的、地點、原因、時間與方法都不重要

529
00:32:11,390 --> 00:32:17,938
我只知道我突然愛上你

530
00:32:18,605 --> 00:32:23,902
這突然成為此刻唯一

531
00:32:23,986 --> 00:32:27,239
重要的事

532
00:32:48,927 --> 00:32:52,806
-當你有事情要做
-當你有事情要做

533
00:32:52,890 --> 00:32:56,226
-就得全心投入
-就得全心投入

534
00:32:56,310 --> 00:32:57,686
人生至高無上的快樂

535
00:32:57,769 --> 00:32:59,563
-就是男孩與女孩
-男孩與女孩

536
00:32:59,646 --> 00:33:03,233
-從頭到尾完成一件事
-從、頭、到、尾

537
00:33:03,317 --> 00:33:10,032
所以有個好建議,我很樂意告訴你

538
00:33:10,115 --> 00:33:14,912
你必須時時盡力,用心做到最好

539
00:33:50,989 --> 00:33:53,534
所以有個好建議

540
00:33:53,617 --> 00:33:56,036
我很樂意告訴你

541
00:33:56,119 --> 00:33:58,622
你必須時時盡力

542
00:33:58,705 --> 00:34:01,124
克服人生的挑戰

543
00:34:01,208 --> 00:34:05,838
你必須時時盡力

544
00:34:05,921 --> 00:34:07,172
用心做到

545
00:34:07,256 --> 00:34:10,759
-最好
-用、心、做、到、最、好

546
00:34:10,842 --> 00:34:12,844
字幕翻譯:陳彥含