1 00:00:47,297 --> 00:00:49,091 Has he opened the box? 2 00:00:50,509 --> 00:00:52,386 You didn't tell me there were gonna be naked people. 3 00:00:52,469 --> 00:00:54,680 I didn't know. Dave didn't mention it. 4 00:00:55,472 --> 00:00:58,016 Oh, no. Is Dave gonna be naked? 5 00:00:59,059 --> 00:01:02,020 His character is called "The Unprotected Seeker of Truth," 6 00:01:02,104 --> 00:01:03,438 so I'm thinking yes. 7 00:01:03,522 --> 00:01:05,147 I cannot see Dave naked. 8 00:01:05,232 --> 00:01:06,567 Sure you can, we're doctors. 9 00:01:06,650 --> 00:01:08,986 I operate on knees. This is way above my pay gra-- 10 00:01:09,069 --> 00:01:10,320 It's Dave. 11 00:01:10,404 --> 00:01:11,405 Abort. 12 00:01:12,239 --> 00:01:13,448 Abort. 13 00:01:13,949 --> 00:01:16,660 Because I know not what is inside. 14 00:01:16,743 --> 00:01:17,744 I'm sorry. 15 00:01:17,828 --> 00:01:19,496 -I'm sorry. -Pardon me. 16 00:01:19,580 --> 00:01:21,331 -I'm sorry. -Liar. 17 00:01:21,415 --> 00:01:23,125 -I'm trying. -Go. Hurry. Hurry. 18 00:01:23,208 --> 00:01:24,459 Walk on your toes. 19 00:01:33,844 --> 00:01:35,220 Oh, my God. 20 00:01:37,431 --> 00:01:38,640 Wow. 21 00:01:39,433 --> 00:01:41,143 It's beautiful. 22 00:01:41,935 --> 00:01:43,145 Gotcha. 23 00:01:44,521 --> 00:01:45,647 I love you. 24 00:01:46,773 --> 00:01:48,692 Oh, I'm sorry. That just-- 25 00:01:48,775 --> 00:01:50,652 I don't want you to feel any pressure. 26 00:01:50,736 --> 00:01:54,406 And also, it's weird to say that the night we saw Dave's penis, so maybe just-- 27 00:01:54,489 --> 00:01:55,866 I love you too. 28 00:02:08,503 --> 00:02:09,505 Oh, I'm sorry. 29 00:02:09,588 --> 00:02:12,966 I meet with parents Thursdays between 3:00 and 5:00. 30 00:02:13,050 --> 00:02:14,426 Good thing I'm not a parent. 31 00:02:15,844 --> 00:02:18,222 Josh Skinner. Dr. Josh Skinner. 32 00:02:18,305 --> 00:02:20,182 Oh, I know who you are. 33 00:02:21,183 --> 00:02:23,310 You're the one who broke poor Betsy McDonough's heart, 34 00:02:23,393 --> 00:02:25,395 then crossed the footbridge with every woman in town 35 00:02:25,479 --> 00:02:27,105 in some pathetic attempt to bag a wife. 36 00:02:27,189 --> 00:02:29,775 And how'd that work out? Get yourself a good one? 37 00:02:29,858 --> 00:02:31,401 I'm still looking. 38 00:02:31,485 --> 00:02:33,153 Please, don't waste your time looking here. 39 00:02:33,237 --> 00:02:35,822 I wouldn't cross that bridge with you for $100. 40 00:02:35,906 --> 00:02:38,075 Actually, I'm looking for a place to stay. 41 00:02:38,158 --> 00:02:40,118 Heard there was a room to let above the schoolhouse. 42 00:02:40,202 --> 00:02:41,453 You heard wrong. 43 00:02:41,537 --> 00:02:44,331 Now, If you don't mind, I have more important things to do. 44 00:02:44,414 --> 00:02:46,625 So Mildred Layton got to you too. 45 00:02:47,417 --> 00:02:48,418 Mildred Layton? 46 00:02:48,502 --> 00:02:52,798 She had my girlf-- ex and me kicked out of the inn, 47 00:02:52,881 --> 00:02:55,551 and has everyone else in town so scared they won't put us up. 48 00:02:55,634 --> 00:02:57,135 That woman is a menace. 49 00:02:57,219 --> 00:02:58,762 You know, she's constantly meddling, 50 00:02:58,846 --> 00:03:01,223 trying to tell me what to teach in my own classroom. 51 00:03:01,306 --> 00:03:04,560 She took my book on wildflowers and crossed out all the stamens. 52 00:03:04,643 --> 00:03:06,061 So she's got a problem with you too. 53 00:03:07,062 --> 00:03:08,480 Yeah, that lines up. 54 00:03:09,314 --> 00:03:12,192 So what's her deal? She controls the whole town? 55 00:03:12,276 --> 00:03:14,653 Pretty much. But she doesn't control me. 56 00:03:15,445 --> 00:03:17,906 I can think of a great way to prove that. 57 00:03:23,412 --> 00:03:27,749 I suppose I could use a handyman around here. 58 00:03:29,293 --> 00:03:30,669 In exchange for the room. 59 00:03:30,752 --> 00:03:33,005 Oh, yes. Handyman. 60 00:03:33,088 --> 00:03:37,217 Super handy. Hung all the pictures in my apartment in, like, an hour. 61 00:03:38,135 --> 00:03:40,387 Eyeballed everything. It's pretty impressive. 62 00:03:40,971 --> 00:03:43,056 You must have felt so virile. 63 00:03:43,140 --> 00:03:45,184 You can start tomorrow morning at 9:00. 64 00:03:45,267 --> 00:03:47,186 Now, if you'll excuse me, I have work to do. 65 00:03:47,269 --> 00:03:48,520 Gotcha. 66 00:03:49,938 --> 00:03:50,939 Thank you. 67 00:04:03,118 --> 00:04:05,078 -Make it 8:00. -You got it. 68 00:04:07,122 --> 00:04:08,999 Here is what I expect from my nurse: 69 00:04:09,082 --> 00:04:13,879 Hard work, discipline and a willingness to follow all of my orders to the letter. 70 00:04:14,630 --> 00:04:15,839 Absolutely. 71 00:04:16,632 --> 00:04:21,428 So, Dr. Lopez, have you had many nurses? 72 00:04:22,221 --> 00:04:23,222 I have. 73 00:04:24,431 --> 00:04:26,642 Now I will like to show you my equipment. 74 00:04:27,768 --> 00:04:29,770 This is called an obstetric perforator. 75 00:04:30,687 --> 00:04:33,649 Really? Looks like something you'd use to eat lobster. 76 00:04:36,109 --> 00:04:37,444 Papa? 77 00:04:38,278 --> 00:04:41,031 I'm sorry, son, I just needed to grab something. 78 00:04:41,740 --> 00:04:43,283 What did you take? 79 00:04:44,660 --> 00:04:46,578 What is it? Show me. 80 00:04:48,956 --> 00:04:52,709 Papa, that is a surgical lubricant. What could you possibly want it for? 81 00:04:53,460 --> 00:04:56,630 -It's private. -Not when it's my lubricant. 82 00:04:56,713 --> 00:04:58,757 Come on. Just let them have it. 83 00:04:58,841 --> 00:05:02,052 And now you have encouraged my new nurse to question my authority. 84 00:05:02,135 --> 00:05:06,181 Fine. Your mama and I are feeling amorous, 85 00:05:06,265 --> 00:05:08,725 and the last time it really helped, so-- 86 00:05:08,809 --> 00:05:11,812 -Papa, there is a lady present. -Oh, I'm good. 87 00:05:11,895 --> 00:05:14,481 You are too old for the act of love. It's unseemly. 88 00:05:14,565 --> 00:05:15,816 Put it back this instant. 89 00:05:19,903 --> 00:05:22,906 My apologies. You'll find I don't appreciate interruptions. 90 00:05:22,990 --> 00:05:26,118 -Doc Lopez, I'm sorry, but-- -Young lady, I told you I cannot help you. 91 00:05:26,201 --> 00:05:27,202 -But I-- -Nancy! 92 00:05:27,286 --> 00:05:30,205 If you are determined to have a child out of wedlock, that is your concern. 93 00:05:30,289 --> 00:05:33,292 But I will have nothing to do with it. Now please, leave this office. 94 00:05:33,375 --> 00:05:34,293 Wait, what? 95 00:05:36,003 --> 00:05:37,754 What is wrong with you? 96 00:05:37,838 --> 00:05:39,756 You can't just turn away that girl. 97 00:05:39,840 --> 00:05:42,134 I have every right to choose whom I will take on as a patient. 98 00:05:42,217 --> 00:05:44,344 But you're the only doctor in town. 99 00:05:47,139 --> 00:05:48,140 Epiphany. 100 00:05:48,223 --> 00:05:53,145 E-P-I-P-H-A-N-Y. Epiphany. 101 00:05:53,228 --> 00:05:54,563 Well done, Zaneeta. 102 00:05:54,646 --> 00:05:57,482 Tommy, your word is "catharsis." 103 00:05:58,400 --> 00:06:00,444 -Catharsis. C-A-- -Hey! 104 00:06:01,528 --> 00:06:04,823 Children, say good morning to our new handyman, Dr. Skinner. 105 00:06:04,907 --> 00:06:08,035 Good morning, Dr. Skinner. 106 00:06:09,536 --> 00:06:10,537 Hey, kids. 107 00:06:12,372 --> 00:06:13,373 'Sup. 108 00:06:15,292 --> 00:06:16,293 So, where should I start? 109 00:06:16,376 --> 00:06:19,129 The door to the supply closet has been jammed for weeks. 110 00:06:19,213 --> 00:06:20,172 On it. 111 00:06:20,255 --> 00:06:22,174 Now, Tommy, let's resume. 112 00:06:23,634 --> 00:06:26,053 -Your word is "catharsis." -Miss Tate? 113 00:06:27,179 --> 00:06:30,098 Yeah, this is really stuck. Do you have any other jobs? 114 00:06:30,182 --> 00:06:31,517 So you're just going to give up? 115 00:06:31,600 --> 00:06:34,186 No, I'm not giving up. I'm just moving on to something else. 116 00:06:34,269 --> 00:06:36,647 So, giving up. 117 00:06:36,730 --> 00:06:39,483 Children, what does Shakespeare have to say about that? 118 00:06:40,067 --> 00:06:42,736 "Cowards die many times before their death; 119 00:06:42,819 --> 00:06:45,948 the valiant never taste of death but once." 120 00:06:46,698 --> 00:06:51,787 Shakespeare. So perceptive, and so beautifully expressed. 121 00:06:51,870 --> 00:06:53,121 What does that even mean? 122 00:06:53,705 --> 00:06:57,000 It means that taking the easy way out never pays. 123 00:06:57,793 --> 00:07:00,295 Let's see how I can explain it. 124 00:07:01,046 --> 00:07:04,883 Oh, seriously, no musical explanation needed. I get it. 125 00:07:04,967 --> 00:07:11,849 When you've got a job to do You must try with all your heart 126 00:07:11,932 --> 00:07:15,894 Life's profoundest joys Go to girls and boys 127 00:07:15,978 --> 00:07:18,981 Who finish what they start 128 00:07:19,064 --> 00:07:23,402 When faced with work The shirkers shirk because 129 00:07:23,485 --> 00:07:26,029 It's no longer fun 130 00:07:26,113 --> 00:07:29,324 But the chaps for whom The whole world claps 131 00:07:29,408 --> 00:07:33,036 Are the chaps who keep at it Till the job is done 132 00:07:33,120 --> 00:07:35,873 -Yeah. -Oh, at times you'll want to say 133 00:07:36,748 --> 00:07:39,459 "I've got nothing left to give" 134 00:07:40,210 --> 00:07:44,715 But a life that's lived partway Is no way to live 135 00:07:46,175 --> 00:07:47,176 Stop. Okay. 136 00:07:47,259 --> 00:07:54,224 So here's a slice of good advice That I'm obliged to impart 137 00:07:54,308 --> 00:07:59,062 You must always try your best With all of your heart 138 00:08:00,314 --> 00:08:03,150 Miss Tate is right. How can you live a life partway? 139 00:08:03,233 --> 00:08:04,818 Or be half a friend? 140 00:08:04,902 --> 00:08:07,154 Why do you keep giving up, Dr. Skinner? 141 00:08:07,237 --> 00:08:08,280 Yeah. Why? 142 00:08:08,864 --> 00:08:11,158 Hey, back off. It's a door. 143 00:08:11,241 --> 00:08:12,492 Is it? 144 00:08:13,702 --> 00:08:17,581 -When you've got a job to do -When you've got a job to do 145 00:08:17,664 --> 00:08:21,001 -You must try with all your heart -You must try with all your heart 146 00:08:21,084 --> 00:08:22,461 Life's profoundest joys 147 00:08:22,544 --> 00:08:24,338 -Go to girls and boys -Girls and boys 148 00:08:24,421 --> 00:08:28,008 -Who finish what they start -S-T-A-R-T! 149 00:08:28,091 --> 00:08:31,136 When faced with work The shirkers shirk 150 00:08:31,220 --> 00:08:34,847 -Because it's no longer fun -F-U-N! 151 00:08:34,932 --> 00:08:38,184 But the chaps for whom The whole world claps 152 00:08:38,268 --> 00:08:41,938 Are the chaps who keep at it Till the job is done 153 00:08:42,022 --> 00:08:45,567 -Oh, at times you'll want to say -Oh, at times you'll want to say 154 00:08:45,651 --> 00:08:49,196 -"I've got nothing left to give" -"I've got nothing left to give" 155 00:08:49,279 --> 00:08:51,865 But a life that's lived partway 156 00:08:51,949 --> 00:08:56,036 -Is no way to live -It's no way to L-I-V-E! 157 00:08:56,119 --> 00:09:03,043 So here's a slice of good advice That I'm obliged to impart 158 00:09:03,126 --> 00:09:07,714 You must always try your best With all of your heart 159 00:09:09,299 --> 00:09:11,468 Not into singing, huh? I get it. 160 00:09:11,552 --> 00:09:13,178 I'm no good at music. 161 00:10:19,369 --> 00:10:21,914 So here's a slice of good advice 162 00:10:21,997 --> 00:10:24,416 That I'm obliged to impart 163 00:10:24,499 --> 00:10:27,169 You must always try your best 164 00:10:28,670 --> 00:10:30,839 Though life puts you to the test 165 00:10:32,382 --> 00:10:37,012 You must always try your best 166 00:10:37,095 --> 00:10:38,347 With all of your 167 00:10:38,430 --> 00:10:40,599 Heart 168 00:10:40,682 --> 00:10:42,851 H-E-A-R-T! 169 00:10:42,935 --> 00:10:44,144 Heart! 170 00:10:46,730 --> 00:10:48,106 Yes! 171 00:10:48,815 --> 00:10:51,568 Why are they laughing? Nothing even remotely funny just happened. 172 00:11:20,764 --> 00:11:22,099 Can I tempt you with anything? 173 00:11:23,392 --> 00:11:25,185 What would you recommend? 174 00:11:25,269 --> 00:11:28,063 Most folks are partial to Helen Pritt's corn brittle 175 00:11:28,146 --> 00:11:30,107 or Aunt Polly's shoofly pie. 176 00:11:30,190 --> 00:11:33,485 Unfortunately, no one seems to be interested in my rhubarb squares. 177 00:11:33,569 --> 00:11:35,696 Oh, I love rhubarb squares. 178 00:11:35,779 --> 00:11:37,239 You do? Me too. 179 00:11:38,323 --> 00:11:40,033 And I thought I was the only one. 180 00:11:40,742 --> 00:11:42,578 Well, they're definitely not for everybody. 181 00:11:44,872 --> 00:11:46,665 -I'll take two. -Wonderful. 182 00:11:49,960 --> 00:11:52,796 Here. I'd hate to enjoy it alone. 183 00:11:52,880 --> 00:11:54,131 Oh, thank you. 184 00:11:56,550 --> 00:11:58,051 Howard, don't forget your diet. 185 00:11:58,135 --> 00:12:00,804 We don't wanna have to get your fat pants down from the attic again. 186 00:12:00,888 --> 00:12:02,431 Sorry, Mildred. 187 00:12:25,621 --> 00:12:26,830 I found you! 188 00:12:27,664 --> 00:12:30,167 Oh, don't worry, Nancy. No, no, I'm here to help. 189 00:12:30,250 --> 00:12:31,877 I assume this is the father? 190 00:12:31,960 --> 00:12:33,879 Yes, ma'am. Seaman Freddy Driggs. 191 00:12:33,962 --> 00:12:35,714 Thank you for your service. 192 00:12:37,299 --> 00:12:39,676 You're pregnant and living in this shack? 193 00:12:39,760 --> 00:12:41,595 My parents don't want a scandal. 194 00:12:41,678 --> 00:12:43,639 But please don't tell them Freddy was here. 195 00:12:43,722 --> 00:12:45,265 Nancy and I wanna get married, honest. 196 00:12:45,349 --> 00:12:47,142 But her ma doesn't approve of sailors 197 00:12:47,226 --> 00:12:50,020 on account of the way we curse so dad gum much-- Sorry. 198 00:12:50,103 --> 00:12:51,563 So we can't. 199 00:12:51,647 --> 00:12:53,273 Hey. You'll get no judgment from me. 200 00:12:53,357 --> 00:12:56,193 I just wanna make sure you and your baby are safe. 201 00:12:56,276 --> 00:12:57,444 How many months along are you? 202 00:12:57,528 --> 00:13:01,156 I'm not sure. I've got so many questions and no idea who to ask. 203 00:13:02,574 --> 00:13:04,076 For instance, where does the baby come out? 204 00:13:04,159 --> 00:13:07,329 I feel like there are a couple of options but both seem crazy. 205 00:13:07,412 --> 00:13:10,457 The baby comes out of your vagina, Nancy. 206 00:13:11,500 --> 00:13:12,501 Really? 207 00:13:12,584 --> 00:13:14,670 Ma'am, I don't even use language like that. 208 00:13:14,753 --> 00:13:18,090 It's just medical terminology, Freddy. Nothing to be afraid of. 209 00:13:18,924 --> 00:13:22,261 Let's see if I can make it easier for you. 210 00:13:27,516 --> 00:13:31,395 Vagina is where the penis goes 211 00:13:31,478 --> 00:13:34,898 Ovaries make eggs for you and me 212 00:13:35,858 --> 00:13:39,111 Testes are where the sperm repose 213 00:13:39,194 --> 00:13:42,948 Cervix is where they can swim free 214 00:13:43,615 --> 00:13:46,952 Fallopian tubes are Where both of them meet 215 00:13:47,828 --> 00:13:51,540 Uterus is where cells start to sprout 216 00:13:51,623 --> 00:13:55,335 Placenta is what they like to eat 217 00:13:55,419 --> 00:13:59,131 Till the baby comes straight out-- 218 00:14:00,507 --> 00:14:02,467 -The vagina? -That's right! 219 00:14:02,551 --> 00:14:03,635 Now sing with me. 220 00:14:05,470 --> 00:14:09,474 -Vagina -Is where the penis goes 221 00:14:09,558 --> 00:14:13,562 -Ovaries -Make eggs for you and me 222 00:14:13,645 --> 00:14:17,441 -Testes -Are where the sperm repose 223 00:14:17,524 --> 00:14:21,528 -Cervix -Is where they can swim free 224 00:14:21,612 --> 00:14:25,574 -Fallopian tubes -Are where both of them meet 225 00:14:25,657 --> 00:14:29,328 -Uterus -Is where cells start to sprout 226 00:14:29,411 --> 00:14:32,998 -Placenta -Is what they like to eat 227 00:14:33,081 --> 00:14:37,753 Till the baby comes straight out The vagina 228 00:14:42,257 --> 00:14:44,384 Ow! Son of a bitch. 229 00:14:48,847 --> 00:14:51,558 This must be the Skinner Feeling I've heard so much about. 230 00:14:51,642 --> 00:14:55,604 Hey. Just trying to do my best with all of my heart. 231 00:14:55,687 --> 00:14:58,440 Well, clearly the door's gotten the better of you. 232 00:14:59,149 --> 00:15:01,485 Maybe try assaulting the toolbox again tomorrow? 233 00:15:02,903 --> 00:15:04,363 You! 234 00:15:04,446 --> 00:15:05,948 Don't shoot! 235 00:15:06,031 --> 00:15:07,324 I'm not gonna shoot. 236 00:15:07,407 --> 00:15:09,409 'Cause you're headed with me and my Betsy right now 237 00:15:09,493 --> 00:15:10,869 to the church to get married. 238 00:15:10,953 --> 00:15:11,912 What? 239 00:15:11,995 --> 00:15:15,457 Hey! You listen here, Patrick McDoogal McDonough. 240 00:15:15,541 --> 00:15:16,959 You will not come into my classroom 241 00:15:17,042 --> 00:15:18,669 waving a gun around and ranting like a lunatic. 242 00:15:18,752 --> 00:15:19,753 Do you understand me? 243 00:15:19,837 --> 00:15:21,171 Yes, ma'am. 244 00:15:21,255 --> 00:15:23,131 Do you really think so little of your daughter 245 00:15:23,215 --> 00:15:25,968 that you feel the need to threaten men to get them to marry her? 246 00:15:26,051 --> 00:15:28,470 -Do you, Papa? -Well, I thought-- 247 00:15:28,554 --> 00:15:31,265 I don't see a whole lot of thinking going on in that head of yours. 248 00:15:31,348 --> 00:15:34,685 But you are going to go home and think about your behavior, 249 00:15:34,768 --> 00:15:36,895 and let your daughter live her own life. 250 00:15:36,979 --> 00:15:39,106 -Is that clear? -Yes, ma'am. 251 00:15:40,065 --> 00:15:41,066 Can I have my gun? 252 00:15:41,149 --> 00:15:44,778 You will get this back when I think you have learned your lesson. Now get. 253 00:15:52,578 --> 00:15:53,579 Thank you. 254 00:15:54,288 --> 00:15:58,625 Must be hard being the only one around here with an actual functioning brain. 255 00:15:58,709 --> 00:16:01,795 They're not so bad. They're just set in their ways, is all. 256 00:16:02,754 --> 00:16:05,674 I try to encourage them to be more modern, but... 257 00:16:06,925 --> 00:16:08,427 Have you heard of a brassiere? 258 00:16:09,720 --> 00:16:12,014 -Rings a bell. -It's a wonderful new invention 259 00:16:12,097 --> 00:16:15,184 that frees the woman's bosom from the bondage of the corset. 260 00:16:15,267 --> 00:16:16,560 I love it. 261 00:16:16,643 --> 00:16:20,355 But of course Mildred and her biddies have banned them. It's ridiculous. 262 00:16:20,439 --> 00:16:22,733 So ridiculous. Brassieres are the best. 263 00:16:24,484 --> 00:16:27,654 I imagine we all must seem very provincial and backwards 264 00:16:27,738 --> 00:16:30,782 to someone as cosmopolitan as yourself. 265 00:16:31,491 --> 00:16:34,453 So, what's it like where you come from? The big city. 266 00:16:35,829 --> 00:16:37,039 Well... 267 00:16:38,415 --> 00:16:40,125 No, no, no, no! 268 00:16:40,209 --> 00:16:43,420 -I'm sorry. I didn't mean to-- -I'm not doing this. 269 00:16:43,504 --> 00:16:46,256 Okay. Fine. Don't tell me. 270 00:16:46,340 --> 00:16:48,842 -Have a nice evening, Dr. Skinner. -No-- 271 00:16:54,389 --> 00:16:56,683 So in the future, Pete, 272 00:16:56,767 --> 00:17:00,646 let's stay away from boiling pots of corn puddin', okay? 273 00:17:00,729 --> 00:17:02,940 Just knowing you and your whole deal. 274 00:17:12,199 --> 00:17:13,242 Ow! 275 00:17:17,412 --> 00:17:20,249 So you're a nurse now. Where's the doctor? 276 00:17:20,332 --> 00:17:21,290 He's out fishing. 277 00:17:21,375 --> 00:17:23,085 What do you want? Why are you here? 278 00:17:24,377 --> 00:17:26,046 I kinda-- I was... 279 00:17:26,128 --> 00:17:27,881 -You need my help. -Yeah. 280 00:17:27,964 --> 00:17:30,050 Really? Don't know if you remember, 281 00:17:30,133 --> 00:17:32,219 but we're broken up and I hate you. 282 00:17:32,302 --> 00:17:35,097 I know, I know. But I have nowhere else to turn. Please. 283 00:17:36,849 --> 00:17:37,891 Fine. What is it? 284 00:17:37,975 --> 00:17:39,810 Okay, so you remember when I tried to cross the bridge 285 00:17:39,893 --> 00:17:40,894 with every woman in town? 286 00:17:40,978 --> 00:17:43,063 Yes, I remember. 287 00:17:43,146 --> 00:17:45,899 There's one woman in town I missed. Emma Tate, the schoolmarm. 288 00:17:45,983 --> 00:17:47,860 So I'm thinking she must be my ticket out. 289 00:17:47,943 --> 00:17:49,695 You gonna find true love with the schoolmarm? 290 00:17:49,778 --> 00:17:52,030 I don't know. I just know it's not going well. 291 00:17:52,114 --> 00:17:54,408 Yesterday we were talking and then music started to play out of nowhere, 292 00:17:54,491 --> 00:17:55,367 and she stormed off. 293 00:17:55,450 --> 00:17:57,911 -You were supposed to sing. -I guess. 294 00:17:57,995 --> 00:18:00,998 Josh, you're in a musical. That's how musicals work. 295 00:18:01,081 --> 00:18:02,791 When you're too emotional to talk, you sing. 296 00:18:02,875 --> 00:18:04,626 When you're too emotional to sing, you dance. 297 00:18:04,710 --> 00:18:06,503 What happens when you're too emotional to dance? 298 00:18:06,587 --> 00:18:08,005 Does it loop back around to talking? 299 00:18:08,088 --> 00:18:10,090 'Cause I feel like that's where I'm at right now. 300 00:18:10,174 --> 00:18:12,843 Look, there's gotta be another way. You know musicals. 301 00:18:12,926 --> 00:18:15,721 Any tips for me? Like what musical I'm in. 302 00:18:16,805 --> 00:18:20,267 I'm so torn between really not wanting to help you 303 00:18:20,350 --> 00:18:23,520 and really wanting to show off how much I know. 304 00:18:24,813 --> 00:18:26,190 Damn it. Okay. 305 00:18:26,273 --> 00:18:30,110 She's a teacher accompanied by a young boy. That's very Music Man. 306 00:18:30,194 --> 00:18:31,486 And who would I be in that? 307 00:18:31,570 --> 00:18:34,948 Harold Hill. A morally adrift narcissist who needs to change. 308 00:18:35,032 --> 00:18:36,700 -All right. -Or it could be King and I. 309 00:18:36,783 --> 00:18:38,827 -In that I'm... -A morally adrift narcissist 310 00:18:38,911 --> 00:18:39,912 who needs to change. 311 00:18:39,995 --> 00:18:42,414 Okay, now I feel like that's just your opinion of me. 312 00:18:42,497 --> 00:18:44,458 -You're gonna have to sing, Josh. -Not happening. 313 00:18:44,541 --> 00:18:47,419 So what did the Music Man do to win over the teacher in their musical? 314 00:18:48,086 --> 00:18:50,547 -He gave her little brother a trumpet. -Why? 315 00:18:51,089 --> 00:18:53,759 Why "Shipoopi"? I don't know. Do you need to know the whole plot? 316 00:18:53,842 --> 00:18:55,135 -How much time do you have? -Never mind. 317 00:18:55,219 --> 00:18:56,428 Trumpet. Little brother. Got it. 318 00:18:56,512 --> 00:18:58,639 -I think it's a little more than that. 319 00:18:58,722 --> 00:19:00,349 -Nurse Melissa! -I'm a doctor. 320 00:19:00,432 --> 00:19:02,059 I think I'm having the baby! 321 00:19:02,142 --> 00:19:03,769 Okay. Come on in. Let's do this. 322 00:19:03,852 --> 00:19:05,687 -But Doc Lopez-- -Screw Doc Lopez. 323 00:19:05,771 --> 00:19:07,147 Let's get you on the table. 324 00:19:12,402 --> 00:19:13,403 Okay. 325 00:19:13,487 --> 00:19:15,030 What are you doing? 326 00:19:15,113 --> 00:19:16,281 Figured you could use a hand. 327 00:19:17,741 --> 00:19:19,284 Yeah, I could. 328 00:19:30,546 --> 00:19:31,755 That was amazing. 329 00:19:32,881 --> 00:19:34,758 -You were amazing. -No. 330 00:19:34,842 --> 00:19:36,885 -You were. -Okay, I was. 331 00:19:36,969 --> 00:19:40,097 But to be fair, being in a musical made it pretty easy. 332 00:19:40,180 --> 00:19:42,850 It's the first time I've ever had a baby come out completely dry. 333 00:19:42,933 --> 00:19:44,017 Yeah, that was weird. 334 00:19:44,601 --> 00:19:47,145 But it was great to have your help, so thank you. 335 00:19:47,980 --> 00:19:49,356 Happy to do it. 336 00:19:52,109 --> 00:19:54,361 Guess you better go find that trumpet. 337 00:19:55,737 --> 00:19:56,947 Yeah. Right. 338 00:19:58,198 --> 00:19:59,324 Good luck. 339 00:20:00,492 --> 00:20:02,578 -Good luck to you too. -Thanks. 340 00:20:29,813 --> 00:20:31,148 Is it true what I heard? 341 00:20:31,231 --> 00:20:33,817 Did you deliver Nancy's baby against my orders? 342 00:20:33,901 --> 00:20:35,611 Yes, because I'm a doctor. 343 00:20:35,694 --> 00:20:39,489 I am. And you know what doctors are supposed to do? 344 00:20:39,573 --> 00:20:40,824 Help people. 345 00:20:40,908 --> 00:20:42,284 Well, you had no right to do that. 346 00:20:42,367 --> 00:20:44,953 This is my practice and I make the rules. 347 00:20:45,037 --> 00:20:47,706 Speaking of, how did this tube end up on my parents' nightstand? 348 00:20:47,789 --> 00:20:48,999 I gave it to them. 349 00:20:49,625 --> 00:20:53,045 You have no boundaries. No decency. 350 00:20:55,255 --> 00:20:57,674 I have no decency? 351 00:20:57,758 --> 00:21:00,260 You refused to treat a woman in need. 352 00:21:00,344 --> 00:21:04,223 I'm sorry. I don't care how ridiculously handsome you are. 353 00:21:04,306 --> 00:21:06,350 You're just wrong. About Nancy, 354 00:21:06,433 --> 00:21:08,393 about your parents, about everything. 355 00:21:08,477 --> 00:21:11,647 If your parents wanna have sex, let them have sex. 356 00:21:11,730 --> 00:21:13,398 In fact, you know what? 357 00:21:13,941 --> 00:21:16,944 I'm not only gonna keep encouraging your parents to get it on, 358 00:21:17,027 --> 00:21:19,947 I'm gonna teach them ways to make their sex lives even better. 359 00:21:20,030 --> 00:21:21,740 Every position in the Kama-sutra. 360 00:21:21,823 --> 00:21:24,576 Pleasure for the sake of pleasure itself. 361 00:21:24,660 --> 00:21:29,790 And finally, in spite of you, they are going to truly live. 362 00:21:32,626 --> 00:21:35,838 We are gathered here today to say goodbye 363 00:21:35,921 --> 00:21:37,339 to Old Doc Lopez, 364 00:21:37,422 --> 00:21:40,050 who unexpectedly left us this week 365 00:21:40,133 --> 00:21:42,970 as a result of engaging in what is apparently known as 366 00:21:43,053 --> 00:21:44,596 an "Egyptian hucklebuck." 367 00:21:45,889 --> 00:21:48,267 We all must experience sorrow, 368 00:21:48,350 --> 00:21:51,979 but it seems the Lopez family has endured much more than its share. 369 00:21:52,938 --> 00:21:55,649 Just two years ago, I was up here delivering the eulogy 370 00:21:55,732 --> 00:21:58,277 for Jorge's dear wife, Norma. 371 00:22:00,195 --> 00:22:03,740 So, what do we do when life hands us tragedy like this? 372 00:22:04,950 --> 00:22:08,537 When the love of God is so far away? 373 00:22:09,705 --> 00:22:12,291 And hope so distant? 374 00:22:15,002 --> 00:22:16,628 -Hi. -Hi. 375 00:22:17,754 --> 00:22:19,006 Are you all right? 376 00:22:19,089 --> 00:22:20,382 It was my fault. 377 00:22:20,465 --> 00:22:24,845 I'm the one who encouraged him to stretch his sexual repertoire. 378 00:22:24,928 --> 00:22:26,889 That heart attack was gonna happen no matter what. 379 00:22:26,972 --> 00:22:28,849 You know that, right? It was just hibernating. 380 00:22:28,932 --> 00:22:30,809 -A wise man once said... -I guess. 381 00:22:32,603 --> 00:22:34,188 So, that's your doctor, huh? 382 00:22:34,271 --> 00:22:37,649 He's moderately attractive. For a man his age. 383 00:22:38,567 --> 00:22:40,485 How's it going with your schoolmarm? 384 00:22:40,569 --> 00:22:42,487 Can't find a trumpet anywhere. 385 00:22:42,571 --> 00:22:45,115 I still don't see how that's gonna make her fall in love with me. 386 00:22:45,199 --> 00:22:48,118 Look, romance in musicals isn't always logical. Okay? 387 00:22:48,202 --> 00:22:50,787 That's why they usually let the songs do the heavy lifting. 388 00:22:50,871 --> 00:22:52,080 I'm not singing. 389 00:22:52,164 --> 00:22:55,167 Are we truly living our lives to the fullest? 390 00:22:56,710 --> 00:22:59,379 Do we have the courage to always follow our hearts? 391 00:23:00,339 --> 00:23:03,842 And are we using everything God has blessed us with? 392 00:23:03,926 --> 00:23:07,221 He makes a great point, huh? About following our hearts. 393 00:23:08,472 --> 00:23:11,892 I'd like to. I would. But... 394 00:23:11,975 --> 00:23:16,063 Because our brief sojourn here on earth is a gift from God. 395 00:23:17,022 --> 00:23:20,567 And he would not have us waste a single minute of it. 396 00:23:22,694 --> 00:23:23,904 You know what? 397 00:23:24,988 --> 00:23:25,989 You're right. 398 00:23:26,073 --> 00:23:29,701 A wise man once said, "The stars are always shining... 399 00:23:30,702 --> 00:23:33,622 -but it's only at night"-- -Oh, no. I didn't mean right now. 400 00:23:33,705 --> 00:23:36,542 Reverend, I have something I'd like to say. 401 00:23:36,625 --> 00:23:37,918 Of course, Mr. Mayor. 402 00:23:41,296 --> 00:23:42,756 The reverend is right. 403 00:23:43,465 --> 00:23:46,969 Life is precious, and we shouldn't waste a single minute. 404 00:23:48,720 --> 00:23:49,805 So... 405 00:23:50,514 --> 00:23:53,934 there's something I've wanted to say for years... 406 00:23:55,018 --> 00:23:56,603 but have never had the courage. 407 00:23:58,397 --> 00:23:59,398 Florence, 408 00:24:00,148 --> 00:24:02,568 my dearest, I love you so much. 409 00:24:04,069 --> 00:24:05,070 But... 410 00:24:06,655 --> 00:24:09,157 I'm a homosexual. 411 00:24:11,535 --> 00:24:12,744 A what? 412 00:24:14,913 --> 00:24:19,960 I'm a homosexual 413 00:24:20,043 --> 00:24:25,340 It's no longer subtextual 414 00:24:25,424 --> 00:24:27,801 I'm attracted to men 415 00:24:28,427 --> 00:24:32,890 Not you men, you're dull 416 00:24:34,099 --> 00:24:41,064 But I'm a homosexual 417 00:24:47,446 --> 00:24:48,864 Florence, wait! 418 00:25:00,792 --> 00:25:03,462 -Hey, Carson. -Hey, Dr. Skinner. 419 00:25:03,545 --> 00:25:05,255 Got a little something for ya. 420 00:25:07,382 --> 00:25:08,383 What's that? 421 00:25:08,467 --> 00:25:09,593 It's a kazoo. 422 00:25:09,676 --> 00:25:12,221 And I know you'd probably prefer a trumpet but there aren't any in town. 423 00:25:12,304 --> 00:25:13,764 And besides, a kazoo is much better 424 00:25:13,847 --> 00:25:16,266 because you don't have to take lessons or practice, or anything. 425 00:25:16,350 --> 00:25:18,560 You just hum into it and music comes out. 426 00:25:23,398 --> 00:25:25,359 The other kids will just make fun of me. 427 00:25:26,109 --> 00:25:29,488 -Why do you say that? -Because they always make fun of me. 428 00:25:29,571 --> 00:25:32,574 I'm an outcast. I guess I just don't fit in. 429 00:25:35,160 --> 00:25:36,495 I know how you feel, buddy. 430 00:25:37,162 --> 00:25:38,622 -You do? -Sure. 431 00:25:38,705 --> 00:25:41,166 When I was in school to be a doctor, I didn't fit in either. 432 00:25:41,250 --> 00:25:43,544 There wasn't anybody like me in my whole group. 433 00:25:43,627 --> 00:25:46,922 And to tell the truth, it got pretty lonely sometimes. 434 00:25:47,005 --> 00:25:49,258 But you know what I did? I said, "Screw 'em." 435 00:25:49,341 --> 00:25:50,509 "Screw 'em"? 436 00:25:52,970 --> 00:25:56,306 I realized it didn't matter what they thought. 437 00:25:56,390 --> 00:25:58,392 It only mattered what I thought. 438 00:25:58,475 --> 00:26:01,270 And so I worked hard, I became a doctor, 439 00:26:01,353 --> 00:26:03,355 and now I have a ton of friends. 440 00:26:03,981 --> 00:26:07,526 Including Carmelo Anthony, who is a famous basketball player, 441 00:26:07,609 --> 00:26:11,822 whose knee I once fixed and hooked me up with courtside seats. 442 00:26:11,905 --> 00:26:15,409 And those babies go for, like, $2,500 a pop. 443 00:26:15,492 --> 00:26:17,703 -Wow! -Exactly. So, come on. 444 00:26:18,912 --> 00:26:19,913 Give it a try. 445 00:26:25,878 --> 00:26:27,087 Right. 446 00:26:30,340 --> 00:26:32,467 Wow! I did it! I made music! 447 00:26:33,260 --> 00:26:36,180 -Sister! Sister! Sister! -Yes? 448 00:26:36,263 --> 00:26:38,891 Dr. Skinner gave me the most amazing thing ever! 449 00:26:38,974 --> 00:26:41,518 A kazoo! Look, I can make music! 450 00:26:46,690 --> 00:26:48,066 That's great! 451 00:26:52,571 --> 00:26:53,780 Holy shit, it worked. 452 00:27:07,920 --> 00:27:08,921 Doctor? 453 00:27:11,089 --> 00:27:12,090 Are you all right? 454 00:27:13,634 --> 00:27:17,846 Oh, Melissa. Sorry, I was just out here thinking. 455 00:27:18,889 --> 00:27:20,140 It's been quite a day. 456 00:27:21,266 --> 00:27:24,061 I didn't know about your wife. 457 00:27:24,144 --> 00:27:27,439 I'm so sorry. You must have loved her very much. 458 00:27:28,398 --> 00:27:30,192 Yes, I did. 459 00:27:30,275 --> 00:27:34,571 And I want you to know how sorry I am about your father. 460 00:27:35,364 --> 00:27:38,033 I feel like if it weren't for me, he'd still be around. 461 00:27:38,116 --> 00:27:40,869 Oh, no, no. Melissa, you must never blame yourself. 462 00:27:40,953 --> 00:27:42,329 Never. 463 00:27:42,412 --> 00:27:46,416 Because of you, his last moments were filled with joy. And love. 464 00:27:47,751 --> 00:27:49,878 No thanks to me. No, no. 465 00:27:49,962 --> 00:27:52,840 I am Dr. Jorge Sebastian Federico Lopez, 466 00:27:52,923 --> 00:27:56,218 a controlling perfectionist who won't just let people be who they are. 467 00:27:56,301 --> 00:27:59,304 I hate that about myself. I hate it. 468 00:27:59,388 --> 00:28:03,934 Well, I mean, there are positive aspects to those qualities too. 469 00:28:04,017 --> 00:28:05,602 That's what I told myself. 470 00:28:05,686 --> 00:28:08,689 And in the meantime, I was making the people I love miserable. 471 00:28:09,731 --> 00:28:13,527 But then you showed up, standing up to me, speaking your mind. 472 00:28:13,610 --> 00:28:16,071 Yes, initially I hated it, 473 00:28:16,154 --> 00:28:17,573 but now I've realized... 474 00:28:18,907 --> 00:28:20,158 that you were right. 475 00:28:20,784 --> 00:28:23,620 And I was wrong. About everything. 476 00:28:23,704 --> 00:28:27,833 That's the sexiest thing any man has ever said to me. 477 00:28:27,916 --> 00:28:30,252 You've changed me, Melissa. 478 00:28:31,503 --> 00:28:32,504 Thank you. 479 00:28:38,760 --> 00:28:40,304 How does this even work? 480 00:28:43,015 --> 00:28:44,016 Any luck? 481 00:28:45,517 --> 00:28:46,518 Nope. 482 00:28:48,437 --> 00:28:50,522 I'm kind of the worst handyman ever. 483 00:28:50,606 --> 00:28:52,232 Been here a week, haven't fixed anything. 484 00:28:52,316 --> 00:28:53,483 Except Carson. 485 00:28:54,318 --> 00:28:56,320 Thank you for reaching out to him. 486 00:28:57,196 --> 00:29:00,866 He's had such a hard time growing up without a mother or a father. 487 00:29:01,491 --> 00:29:04,161 I've tried introducing the important things in life to him. 488 00:29:04,244 --> 00:29:09,041 You know, compassion, integrity, that there should always be a third thing. 489 00:29:09,124 --> 00:29:12,211 But clearly there's so much I've denied him. 490 00:29:12,294 --> 00:29:13,837 Hey, don't be so hard on yourself. 491 00:29:13,921 --> 00:29:16,465 He's a great kid, and that's because of you. 492 00:29:16,548 --> 00:29:18,383 A lot of people in this town would disagree. 493 00:29:18,467 --> 00:29:19,718 Who cares what they think? 494 00:29:20,552 --> 00:29:22,387 You're better than all of them put together. 495 00:29:25,057 --> 00:29:26,934 Josh Skinner. 496 00:29:27,017 --> 00:29:29,478 You are not the man that I thought you were. 497 00:29:31,522 --> 00:29:32,606 Doctor? 498 00:29:32,689 --> 00:29:35,609 Melissa, what the mayor did today has inspired me. 499 00:29:36,860 --> 00:29:40,572 I know this is sudden, but I don't wanna waste another minute. 500 00:29:41,365 --> 00:29:46,870 Suddenly I find myself forgetting 501 00:29:47,538 --> 00:29:53,126 All the things That bounce around my brain 502 00:29:53,210 --> 00:29:58,131 Suddenly I want to plan a wedding 503 00:29:58,799 --> 00:30:04,346 Although I know That's perfectly insane 504 00:30:05,013 --> 00:30:10,018 There's no sense In trying to explain it 505 00:30:10,936 --> 00:30:16,149 What and where and why And when and how 506 00:30:16,859 --> 00:30:22,364 All I know is suddenly I love you 507 00:30:23,031 --> 00:30:29,955 And suddenly that's All that matters now 508 00:30:31,164 --> 00:30:34,501 -Emma... -If this seems sudden, well, it is. 509 00:30:35,335 --> 00:30:37,671 But after what happened today at the funeral, 510 00:30:37,754 --> 00:30:40,924 it just feels wrong to keep it inside. 511 00:30:41,508 --> 00:30:46,763 Suddenly it seems I'm not the teacher 512 00:30:47,389 --> 00:30:51,935 And there's so much more For me to learn 513 00:30:53,061 --> 00:30:58,567 Suddenly I want to call a preacher 514 00:30:58,650 --> 00:31:03,739 And that's the sort of thought I used to spurn 515 00:31:04,781 --> 00:31:10,120 There's no sense In trying to explain it 516 00:31:10,662 --> 00:31:15,959 What and where and why And when and how 517 00:31:16,752 --> 00:31:22,758 All I know is suddenly I love you 518 00:31:22,841 --> 00:31:29,431 And suddenly that's All that matters now 519 00:31:59,002 --> 00:32:04,758 There's no sense In trying to explain it 520 00:32:04,842 --> 00:32:10,514 What and where and why And when and how 521 00:32:11,390 --> 00:32:17,938 All I know is suddenly I love you 522 00:32:18,605 --> 00:32:23,902 And suddenly that's all that matters 523 00:32:23,986 --> 00:32:27,239 Now 524 00:32:48,927 --> 00:32:52,806 -When you've got a job to do -When you've got a job to do 525 00:32:52,890 --> 00:32:56,226 -You must try with all your heart -You must try with all your heart 526 00:32:56,310 --> 00:32:57,686 Life's profoundest joys 527 00:32:57,769 --> 00:32:59,563 -Go to girls and boys -Girls and boys 528 00:32:59,646 --> 00:33:03,233 -Who finish what they start -S-T-A-R-T! 529 00:33:03,317 --> 00:33:10,032 So here's a slice of good advice That I'm obliged to impart 530 00:33:10,115 --> 00:33:14,912 You must always try your best With all of your heart 531 00:33:50,989 --> 00:33:53,534 So here's a slice of good advice 532 00:33:53,617 --> 00:33:56,036 That I'm obliged to impart 533 00:33:56,119 --> 00:33:58,622 You must always try your best 534 00:33:58,705 --> 00:34:01,124 Though life puts you to the test 535 00:34:01,208 --> 00:34:05,838 You must always try your best 536 00:34:05,921 --> 00:34:07,172 With all of your 537 00:34:07,256 --> 00:34:10,759 -Heart -H-E-A-R-T!