1
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(洛恩麥可斯呈獻)

2
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《歡迎來到施米加多!》

3
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(來到施米加多的四年又兩個月前)

4
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真是太完美了

5
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好,我通常不會在第一次跟男孩子說這個

6
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“男孩子”是指男生或男人
雄性成年人類

7
00:01:13,407 --> 00:01:18,078
但我想先說一聲

8
00:01:18,161 --> 00:01:21,540
我可以接受一夜情

9
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如果不只是一夜情,那我也能接受

10
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所以,對

11
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然後你覺得這是哪一種?

12
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我不認為只是一夜情

13
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那就...兩夜囉?

14
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梅麗莎,妳美麗又風趣,而且是醫生

15
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也許兩夜,又或許是三夜

16
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誰說得準?也許我們會一輩子不分開

17
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但就目前而言 我們可以一步一步慢慢來嗎?

18
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好

19
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好,這我可拿手了

20
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所以,對,哇,好的,那就兩夜囉?

21
00:02:08,920 --> 00:02:13,258
可能兩夜,可能一輩子
也可能是兩夜到一輩子之間

22
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抱歉,我破壞氣氛了

23
00:02:14,593 --> 00:02:15,802
我破壞了氣氛

24
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我不明白,我們為何過不去?

25
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-這...
-怎樣?

26
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聽著,這整件事實在太扯了

27
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我還在試著理解這件事

28
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但是照矮妖精的意思,顯然這不是真愛

29
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所以你不是真的愛我?

30
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我不是那個意思,我當然愛妳

31
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那你是什麼意思?

32
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我沒有什麼意思

33
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但顯然宇宙之類的很有意見

34
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而我們沒過關,就這樣

35
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所以你已經決定放棄這段感情 因為矮妖精說了算?

36
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不,別這麼說
我只想搞清楚怎麼離開這裡

37
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回到真實世界

38
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但不是一起回去

39
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我們已經試過一起回去了

40
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所以呢?等等,你想跟別人試看看?

41
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不...拜託別唱歌

42
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要我幹嘛都行

43
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是啊,各位,其實我們正在...

44
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耕田總會撞石頭

45
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每塊牛排都有油

46
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-吃魚的時候
-魚

47
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-都得挑魚刺
-魚刺

48
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-你無法擁有愛情
-無法擁有愛情

49
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-且永不發生情侶間的口角
-情侶間的口角

50
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可以讓我們獨處一下嗎?

51
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說真的,拜託一下

52
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起先她說了什麼讓他不爽

53
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然後他用尖酸刻薄的話反駁她

54
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接著她抱怨他不懂她

55
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再來他就打她屁股

56
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不...不能打屁股

57
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除非是你情我願

58
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這只是情侶間的口角

59
00:04:02,826 --> 00:04:04,328
你們吵歸吵

60
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不見得要下結論

61
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就是這麼簡單又明瞭

62
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僅僅是情侶間的口角

63
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起先他說

64
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好,我不玩這個

65
00:04:16,589 --> 00:04:17,716
然後她說

66
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真意外,你不想談這件事

67
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接著他說

68
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這是什麼意思?

69
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再來她說

70
00:04:24,223 --> 00:04:26,391
沒什麼意思,就是字面上的意思

71
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然後他說

72
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旁邊這麼多人我無法討論

73
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接著她說

74
00:04:30,395 --> 00:04:32,189
你無法討論,就這樣

75
00:04:32,898 --> 00:04:36,818
每對男男女女都注定吵得不可開交

76
00:04:36,902 --> 00:04:38,654
-我們得離開這裡
-對...

77
00:04:42,950 --> 00:04:46,411
夏娃與亞當在伊甸園嬉戲

78
00:04:47,037 --> 00:04:49,540
住在那裡快活樂逍遙

79
00:04:49,623 --> 00:04:50,749
真是夠了

80
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直到亞當說:“女士,抱歉打擾

81
00:04:54,336 --> 00:04:57,130
但我的蘋果被咬了一口”

82
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他們發生了

83
00:05:01,176 --> 00:05:04,847
情侶間的口角

84
00:05:04,930 --> 00:05:06,598
你們鬧歸鬧

85
00:05:06,682 --> 00:05:08,392
不見得要就此分手

86
00:05:08,475 --> 00:05:12,229
就是這麼簡單又明瞭

87
00:05:12,312 --> 00:05:14,982
僅僅是情侶間的口角

88
00:05:15,858 --> 00:05:16,859
起先她說

89
00:05:16,942 --> 00:05:18,694
喬許,所以你想怎樣?找新女友?

90
00:05:18,777 --> 00:05:19,778
然後他說

91
00:05:19,862 --> 00:05:21,947
我不要讓這段話成為音樂劇歌曲的一部分

92
00:05:22,030 --> 00:05:23,282
接著她說

93
00:05:23,365 --> 00:05:25,075
你幹嘛不坦白回答問題?

94
00:05:25,158 --> 00:05:26,159
再來他說

95
00:05:26,243 --> 00:05:28,287
好,對,我只求離開這裡

96
00:05:28,370 --> 00:05:29,454
然後她說

97
00:05:29,538 --> 00:05:31,331
我就知道...

98
00:05:31,415 --> 00:05:32,541
接著他說

99
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這就像《陰屍路》加上《歡樂合唱團》

100
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-你看過《歡樂合唱團》?
-我聽過

101
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這只是

102
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情侶間的口角

103
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見鬼了

104
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你們爭歸爭

105
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不見得會更快分道揚鑣

106
00:05:51,602 --> 00:05:54,396
就是這麼簡單又明瞭

107
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僅僅是情侶間的口角

108
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當他讓她難堪,而她有話直說

109
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他們不分軒輊,覺得自己最厲害

110
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並認為一切徒勞無功,只好親吻對方

111
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道晚安

112
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你認為這是真愛嗎?

113
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什麼?

114
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你認為我們倆是真愛嗎?

115
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你不認為?

116
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你不認為,好,很高興知道這一點

117
00:06:27,513 --> 00:06:29,306
真愛究竟是什麼意思?

118
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妳好像對愛情的模樣有個完美想像

119
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也許那根本不存在

120
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某件事情很難,不見得無法實現

121
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得要努力,但顯然你不願努力

122
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這樣吧,我受夠了,我們到此為止

123
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-小梅
-不,我說真的

124
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我們現在正式分手

125
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你要找誰當你的真愛都行 因為我們玩完了

126
00:06:48,784 --> 00:06:51,203
結束了,然後你爛透了

127
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我恨你,你去死吧

128
00:06:54,331 --> 00:06:55,541
-小梅
-不要再叫我“小梅”了

129
00:06:55,624 --> 00:06:57,251
你的語氣活像白痴

130
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這麼做就能結束情侶間的

131
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就能結束情侶間的

132
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口角

133
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梅麗莎小姐

134
00:07:35,706 --> 00:07:38,125
鎮長先生,我很抱歉,我只是...

135
00:07:38,208 --> 00:07:41,003
妳沒事吧?妳在哭嗎?

136
00:07:44,631 --> 00:07:46,550
過來,妳怎麼了?

137
00:07:47,217 --> 00:07:48,886
不用你操心

138
00:07:48,969 --> 00:07:52,723
我是鎮長,操心施米加多的每件事

139
00:07:53,765 --> 00:07:55,434
說吧,妳怎麼了?

140
00:07:55,517 --> 00:07:57,311
喬許和我分手了

141
00:07:57,394 --> 00:08:00,439
不,妳確定不只是情侶間的口角嗎?

142
00:08:00,522 --> 00:08:02,524
對,不是情侶間的口角

143
00:08:04,193 --> 00:08:07,154
我們結束了,真的結束了

144
00:08:07,237 --> 00:08:09,781
梅麗莎,我很遺憾

145
00:08:09,865 --> 00:08:12,201
我原本以為他就是我命中注定的人

146
00:08:12,284 --> 00:08:13,285
但我想...

147
00:08:13,952 --> 00:08:14,953
我並不清楚

148
00:08:16,622 --> 00:08:19,833
我知道妳現在很傷心 但不會永遠這麼難過

149
00:08:20,667 --> 00:08:25,839
妳過不了多久就會忘了喬許 找到更好的新對象

150
00:08:25,923 --> 00:08:27,299
沒那麼簡單

151
00:08:27,382 --> 00:08:29,384
我沒說很簡單

152
00:08:29,927 --> 00:08:32,929
但妳會找到的,我敢肯定

153
00:08:35,849 --> 00:08:41,313
愛在某處等著妳

154
00:08:42,523 --> 00:08:48,487
時機成熟就來臨

155
00:08:49,238 --> 00:08:55,827
就像每天早晨太陽升起

156
00:08:55,911 --> 00:09:01,792
愛在某處等著妳

157
00:09:04,711 --> 00:09:05,963
現在換我...

158
00:09:06,046 --> 00:09:08,841
等妳找到他

159
00:09:08,924 --> 00:09:12,135
鐘聲不會響

160
00:09:12,219 --> 00:09:15,389
沒有天使歌唱

161
00:09:15,472 --> 00:09:18,141
帶領妳去找他

162
00:09:18,809 --> 00:09:21,812
因妳找到他的瞬間

163
00:09:21,895 --> 00:09:25,190
內心的小聲音

164
00:09:25,274 --> 00:09:28,819
將讓妳無從選擇

165
00:09:28,902 --> 00:09:33,031
只能往他奔去

166
00:09:34,658 --> 00:09:39,246
然後他對妳微笑,握住妳的手

167
00:09:39,329 --> 00:09:43,667
妳立刻知曉何謂心滿意足

168
00:09:43,750 --> 00:09:47,880
接著他用強壯黝黑的手臂,緊緊環抱妳

169
00:09:47,963 --> 00:09:53,302
妳的心燃起熊熊火焰

170
00:09:53,385 --> 00:09:56,555
禁忌的愛終於

171
00:09:56,638 --> 00:10:02,352
不需再隱藏

172
00:10:07,399 --> 00:10:11,945
愛在某處等著

173
00:10:12,863 --> 00:10:19,828
妳

174
00:10:24,499 --> 00:10:27,920
鎮長先生,你...是同志嗎?

175
00:10:29,213 --> 00:10:30,214
我正努力尋找志趣

176
00:10:31,340 --> 00:10:32,508
施米加多的座右銘是

177
00:10:32,591 --> 00:10:35,302
“我們時時追求和平與幸福”

178
00:10:35,385 --> 00:10:39,556
所以我努力為鎮民做個歡欣鼓舞的好榜樣

179
00:10:41,433 --> 00:10:44,311
但有時候不容易

180
00:10:45,771 --> 00:10:47,147
有時候人生很難

181
00:10:49,024 --> 00:10:53,904
每當我想快樂起來,我就會來這個地方

182
00:10:57,199 --> 00:10:58,408
但我沒辦法

183
00:11:01,203 --> 00:11:02,663
鎮長先生,我很抱歉,我...

184
00:11:02,746 --> 00:11:04,957
看我說個沒完

185
00:11:05,040 --> 00:11:07,584
應該是我安慰妳才對

186
00:11:07,668 --> 00:11:09,711
你有安慰到我,我的心情好多了

187
00:11:09,795 --> 00:11:11,922
很好,因為妳知道嗎?

188
00:11:13,090 --> 00:11:17,010
施米加多的每個人都值得找到真愛

189
00:11:18,595 --> 00:11:20,514
對,沒錯

190
00:11:25,310 --> 00:11:26,520
(喬許)

191
00:11:26,603 --> 00:11:28,897
找尋真愛萬歲

192
00:11:34,403 --> 00:11:35,571
再唱一次副歌

193
00:11:37,447 --> 00:11:41,410
愛在某處等著

194
00:11:41,493 --> 00:11:45,539
妳

195
00:11:48,417 --> 00:11:49,418
好痛

196
00:11:49,918 --> 00:11:51,044
抱歉,彼特

197
00:11:51,128 --> 00:11:55,883
妳

198
00:12:00,262 --> 00:12:02,472
是你啊,史金納先生

199
00:12:02,556 --> 00:12:04,892
嘿,妳叫貝琪吧?

200
00:12:04,975 --> 00:12:07,102
你記得

201
00:12:07,186 --> 00:12:09,062
這幾位是我的姊妹,蘿莉、凱莉

202
00:12:09,146 --> 00:12:11,481
妮莉、菲歐娜、欣蒂和小杜蒂

203
00:12:11,565 --> 00:12:15,360
“整個人睡死”的笑話就是他說的嗎?

204
00:12:15,444 --> 00:12:16,737
就是他

205
00:12:16,820 --> 00:12:18,947
再說一次,拜託

206
00:12:19,031 --> 00:12:20,574
什麼?說我整個人睡死嗎?

207
00:12:21,950 --> 00:12:24,244
我就說他很搞笑吧

208
00:12:24,328 --> 00:12:26,997
你和梅麗莎小姐分手真是太可惜了

209
00:12:27,080 --> 00:12:28,999
但我想那就表示

210
00:12:29,082 --> 00:12:31,251
你今晚會競標提籃吧?

211
00:12:31,335 --> 00:12:33,253
不...我...

212
00:12:33,337 --> 00:12:35,380
我是說...什麼...

213
00:12:35,464 --> 00:12:36,924
什麼提籃?

214
00:12:37,007 --> 00:12:38,884
今晚有一場野餐籃年度拍賣會

215
00:12:38,967 --> 00:12:40,969
為圖書館籌措購書基金

216
00:12:41,053 --> 00:12:43,263
用來取代牧師夫人燒掉的書

217
00:12:43,847 --> 00:12:47,559
鎮上每位女孩都會製作野餐籃 交由鎮上男人競標

218
00:12:47,643 --> 00:12:51,230
出價最高者得標 並能與製作提籃的女孩共進晚餐

219
00:12:51,813 --> 00:12:53,941
而且搞不好有特製甜點喔

220
00:12:54,024 --> 00:12:56,318
不過提籃沒標名字

221
00:12:56,401 --> 00:12:58,570
所以即便有人想競標

222
00:12:58,654 --> 00:13:01,365
對方也不曉得我的提籃是哪一個

223
00:13:02,032 --> 00:13:04,243
史金納先生,意下如何?你今晚會來嗎?

224
00:13:04,952 --> 00:13:07,496
-來嘛,拜託你一定要來
-對,拜託你來

225
00:13:07,579 --> 00:13:10,541
好...知道了,我會去...好嗎?

226
00:13:10,624 --> 00:13:12,167
為圖書館募款,對吧?

227
00:13:12,251 --> 00:13:14,670
而且其實我是史金納醫生

228
00:13:16,004 --> 00:13:19,132
史金納醫生?天啊

229
00:13:20,133 --> 00:13:21,718
好了,妳們都給我散開

230
00:13:21,802 --> 00:13:23,929
椅子可不會自己排好

231
00:13:24,012 --> 00:13:25,806
-掰囉,史金納醫生
-掰囉

232
00:13:26,390 --> 00:13:27,641
很高興認識妳們

233
00:13:28,684 --> 00:13:30,811
今晚等你競標我的提籃喔

234
00:13:31,770 --> 00:13:34,147
我會用粉紅色天鵝絨緞帶裝飾

235
00:13:34,231 --> 00:13:36,567
聞起來有水蜜桃和香甜鮮奶油的味道

236
00:13:37,901 --> 00:13:39,111
今晚見喔

237
00:13:43,073 --> 00:13:44,283
好喔

238
00:13:50,330 --> 00:13:51,790
-嘿
-嘿

239
00:13:53,709 --> 00:13:55,836
幹嘛?你開始賣爆米花了?

240
00:13:55,919 --> 00:13:59,173
我只是想去看看提籃拍賣會

241
00:14:00,507 --> 00:14:02,426
你要去提籃拍賣會?

242
00:14:03,093 --> 00:14:07,639
我們大約兩小時前才剛分手 你已經要去提籃拍賣會了

243
00:14:07,723 --> 00:14:10,851
去那個男人把女人當牲畜競標的拍賣會

244
00:14:10,934 --> 00:14:13,312
那是要幫圖書館募款

245
00:14:13,395 --> 00:14:16,231
我猜猜,你要競標那個超有腦服務生

246
00:14:16,315 --> 00:14:18,734
被“整個人睡死”逗得花枝亂顫那位

247
00:14:18,817 --> 00:14:20,986
我覺得是因為我的語氣

248
00:14:21,069 --> 00:14:22,779
你也太好猜了吧,隨便你

249
00:14:22,863 --> 00:14:25,157
去跟你的未成年嫩妹玩吧

250
00:14:25,240 --> 00:14:26,366
她不是嫩妹

251
00:14:26,450 --> 00:14:29,036
我只是想設法離開,難道妳不想嗎?

252
00:14:29,119 --> 00:14:32,456
是,我努力到不行

253
00:14:32,539 --> 00:14:36,418
我早知道秘訣是要表現出 你說的每句話都能把我逗笑就好了

254
00:14:36,502 --> 00:14:37,794
小梅,別這麼不講理

255
00:14:40,964 --> 00:14:43,133
妳和我一樣出不去

256
00:14:43,217 --> 00:14:45,844
在真實世界裡我可不會這麼說

257
00:14:45,928 --> 00:14:48,931
但既然我們都在這個世界出不去

258
00:14:49,014 --> 00:14:50,682
也許妳該做個屬於妳的提籃

259
00:14:50,766 --> 00:14:53,769
是嗎?好讓某個
只有四顆牙的男人買下我?

260
00:14:53,852 --> 00:14:54,853
不用了,謝謝

261
00:14:55,646 --> 00:14:58,190
好吧,希望妳喜歡這裡

262
00:14:58,273 --> 00:14:59,608
如果沒別的事

263
00:15:00,776 --> 00:15:02,152
我要去競標提籃了

264
00:15:04,696 --> 00:15:06,156
嘿,帽子很帥喔

265
00:15:06,240 --> 00:15:07,741
妳想戴還沒得戴

266
00:15:07,824 --> 00:15:09,076
最好是

267
00:15:11,203 --> 00:15:13,664
野餐籃拍賣會要開始了

268
00:15:25,551 --> 00:15:26,802
妳看,因為他們...

269
00:15:32,599 --> 00:15:34,893
等等,小姐,妳不會想喝那個的

270
00:15:34,977 --> 00:15:36,979
那是男士的水果酒缽

271
00:15:37,646 --> 00:15:38,814
裡面有放酒

272
00:15:40,566 --> 00:15:43,235
謝謝你提醒我,消防員賴瑞

273
00:15:45,153 --> 00:15:49,199
時間到了...拍賣的時間到了

274
00:15:49,283 --> 00:15:50,409
那小鬼是誰?

275
00:15:51,118 --> 00:15:53,328
怎麼?他負責通報大小事嗎?

276
00:15:53,412 --> 00:15:55,914
他是卡森,學校那位泰特老師的弟弟

277
00:15:55,998 --> 00:15:59,293
他們父母雙亡,她只得一手拉拔他長大

278
00:15:59,376 --> 00:16:00,711
那可憐的孩子沒有朋友

279
00:16:00,794 --> 00:16:04,256
因為他的舌頭太大,收不進去

280
00:16:05,632 --> 00:16:06,633
好了,各位先生

281
00:16:06,717 --> 00:16:10,179
準備慷慨解囊,為圖書館募款吧

282
00:16:10,262 --> 00:16:13,182
買新書取代最近被燒毀的書本

283
00:16:13,265 --> 00:16:15,100
-因為那些是邪淫書籍
-邪淫?

284
00:16:15,184 --> 00:16:17,269
不,那些是偉大的文學作品

285
00:16:17,352 --> 00:16:19,897
包括喬叟、伏爾泰、巴爾札克

286
00:16:19,980 --> 00:16:22,983
-難怪嫁不掉
-好了...別嘮叨

287
00:16:23,066 --> 00:16:24,651
大家都知道規矩

288
00:16:24,735 --> 00:16:28,030
你們不知道提籃屬於哪位女孩

289
00:16:28,113 --> 00:16:31,033
不過當然了,如果你的心上人
跟你說她的提籃長什麼樣

290
00:16:31,116 --> 00:16:32,284
我就管不著了

291
00:16:35,412 --> 00:16:40,167
好,我是不是聞到醋栗派的味道?

292
00:16:40,250 --> 00:16:41,752
這個美麗傑作的起標價多少?

293
00:16:41,835 --> 00:16:44,338
普萊斯頓出2比特,3比特

294
00:16:44,421 --> 00:16:46,006
後方的巴納比出4比特

295
00:16:46,089 --> 00:16:48,509
5比特,謝謝,5比特,6比特...

296
00:16:48,592 --> 00:16:51,178
一次、兩次

297
00:16:51,261 --> 00:16:53,472
成交,前排的傑瑞麥亞得標

298
00:16:53,555 --> 00:16:56,225
-1比特是多少?
-12.5美分

299
00:16:56,308 --> 00:16:59,603
怎麼會有12.5美分專用的單位?
有比較好算嗎?

300
00:16:59,686 --> 00:17:01,855
那個起標多少?2比特,先生,謝謝

301
00:17:01,939 --> 00:17:05,983
3比特,4比特,5比特,6比特,7比特

302
00:17:06,068 --> 00:17:08,904
成交,那位戴帽子的先生得標

303
00:17:08,987 --> 00:17:11,073
成交,第三排的歐提斯叔叔得標

304
00:17:11,156 --> 00:17:13,200
成交,《施米報》的伊諾克得標

305
00:17:13,282 --> 00:17:15,243
成交,克利以5比特得標

306
00:17:15,327 --> 00:17:17,329
成交,馬歇拉斯以3比特得標

307
00:17:17,412 --> 00:17:20,332
好,現場只剩一個提籃

308
00:17:20,415 --> 00:17:24,837
我有預感,這個提籃會超搶手

309
00:17:24,920 --> 00:17:27,839
這個漂亮的提籃會有人出價嗎?

310
00:17:27,923 --> 00:17:29,633
-2比特
-4比特

311
00:17:29,716 --> 00:17:31,426
-4比特,先生,謝謝
-可惡

312
00:17:31,510 --> 00:17:33,554
-6比特
-2美元

313
00:17:33,637 --> 00:17:34,763
2美元?

314
00:17:35,806 --> 00:17:38,308
從來沒人出價過2美元

315
00:17:39,142 --> 00:17:41,520
好,2美元,一次

316
00:17:41,603 --> 00:17:43,105
2美元又2比特

317
00:17:44,565 --> 00:17:46,316
我出不了那麼多

318
00:17:46,400 --> 00:17:51,572
好吧,看來這個提籃就要以2美元又2比特
由亨利得標了

319
00:17:51,655 --> 00:17:54,491
一次、兩次

320
00:17:54,575 --> 00:17:56,410
鎮長先生,請稍等

321
00:17:59,413 --> 00:18:00,747
20美元

322
00:18:01,957 --> 00:18:06,128
成交,由新來的史金納先生以20美元得標

323
00:18:06,753 --> 00:18:08,422
是史金納醫生

324
00:18:10,007 --> 00:18:12,176
欸,順便說一聲,我也是醫生

325
00:18:12,926 --> 00:18:14,178
但妳是女士

326
00:18:14,261 --> 00:18:15,888
我想大家都有同感

327
00:18:15,971 --> 00:18:19,892
這是史上辦得最成功的年度野餐籃拍賣會

328
00:18:19,975 --> 00:18:20,976
感謝各位競標者

329
00:18:21,059 --> 00:18:22,227
好,等一下

330
00:18:22,311 --> 00:18:25,439
不好意思,抱歉,打擾一下...

331
00:18:25,522 --> 00:18:28,025
拍賣會尚未結束

332
00:18:29,443 --> 00:18:32,988
這樣啊,梅麗莎小姐
妳決定製作提籃了嗎?

333
00:18:33,071 --> 00:18:36,283
不...我本人就是提籃,寶貝

334
00:18:38,619 --> 00:18:42,247
我想妳不太明白野餐籃拍賣會的運作方式

335
00:18:42,331 --> 00:18:44,917
不,我明白得很,好嗎?

336
00:18:45,000 --> 00:18:49,421
因為這些色鬼出價競標女人 彷彿她們是塊肉

337
00:18:49,505 --> 00:18:50,506
好喔

338
00:18:50,589 --> 00:18:51,965
-告訴你們
-好吧

339
00:18:52,049 --> 00:18:54,510
這塊肉有長腦袋

340
00:18:54,593 --> 00:18:57,888
腦袋裡有各種想法與點子

341
00:18:57,971 --> 00:19:00,349
我們開始瘋狂競標吧

342
00:19:00,432 --> 00:19:02,601
誰想買這個肉籃子?

343
00:19:03,685 --> 00:19:05,896
小梅,好了,快從台上下來

344
00:19:05,979 --> 00:19:08,857
要下台的人是你,閉嘴,你只是嫉妒

345
00:19:08,941 --> 00:19:13,445
對了,在我們的世界
20美元根本是小意思

346
00:19:13,529 --> 00:19:17,699
差不多是一塊中號披薩的價錢,好嗎?
所以別大驚小怪

347
00:19:20,035 --> 00:19:22,371
好,那麼...

348
00:19:23,330 --> 00:19:25,791
我們以2比特起標吧

349
00:19:25,874 --> 00:19:27,125
有人出2比特嗎?

350
00:19:29,670 --> 00:19:30,921
2比特起標

351
00:19:32,047 --> 00:19:36,260
1比特怎麼樣?
以1比特競標甜美的梅麗莎小姐

352
00:19:39,638 --> 00:19:41,098
有人要出5美分嗎?

353
00:19:42,349 --> 00:19:43,642
有人出5美分

354
00:19:43,725 --> 00:19:47,396
其實我只是想問問題 我不明白,有派可以吃嗎?

355
00:19:48,438 --> 00:19:50,732
沒有,但你會得到更棒的東西

356
00:19:50,816 --> 00:19:52,651
-蛋糕嗎?
-不是

357
00:19:52,734 --> 00:19:59,449
一個堅強又獨立的女性 絕不再接受配不上她的人

358
00:19:59,533 --> 00:20:01,201
好,誰要買我?

359
00:20:01,994 --> 00:20:04,580
-好,亨利出5美分
-不,我也有問題

360
00:20:04,663 --> 00:20:07,666
妳願意烤個派嗎?之後再烤也行

361
00:20:07,749 --> 00:20:13,380
不,沒有派也沒有蜜餞,好嗎?只有我

362
00:20:14,173 --> 00:20:15,382
別這樣嘛

363
00:20:15,465 --> 00:20:18,051
我長得漂亮,也受過良好教育

364
00:20:18,135 --> 00:20:22,055
我很會賺錢 也會做志工,或者說我打算去做

365
00:20:22,139 --> 00:20:23,932
而且我很風趣,你閉嘴

366
00:20:24,016 --> 00:20:25,726
-你知道我很風趣
-我到底...

367
00:20:25,809 --> 00:20:28,061
所以,來吧,開始競標

368
00:20:29,938 --> 00:20:31,315
各位,出個價吧

369
00:20:31,398 --> 00:20:33,025
這是為了圖書館

370
00:20:35,736 --> 00:20:36,778
2美元

371
00:20:40,532 --> 00:20:41,700
我全身上下就這些錢了

372
00:20:42,409 --> 00:20:44,244
丹尼貝利出價2美元

373
00:20:44,328 --> 00:20:45,829
一次、兩次,成交

374
00:20:47,039 --> 00:20:48,749
看到沒?

375
00:20:48,832 --> 00:20:52,419
這個超級大帥哥以2美元買下我,好耶

376
00:20:52,503 --> 00:20:55,380
丹尼貝利,撒錢吧

377
00:20:55,464 --> 00:20:57,508
剛才真好玩

378
00:20:57,591 --> 00:21:00,719
看來水果酒缽的標示沒什麼用

379
00:21:00,802 --> 00:21:02,179
大家晚安

380
00:21:02,262 --> 00:21:05,766
(愛情隧道,即刻體驗)

381
00:21:05,849 --> 00:21:07,851
你讓我好焦急,還以為你不出價了

382
00:21:07,935 --> 00:21:08,936
是啊

383
00:21:10,437 --> 00:21:14,191
霍華,我不喜歡那兩個外地人
也不喜歡他們的都市新觀念

384
00:21:14,274 --> 00:21:15,526
他們不屬於這裡

385
00:21:16,109 --> 00:21:17,444
蜜爾芮,我不曉得耶

386
00:21:17,528 --> 00:21:19,571
我知道你不曉得,所以才告訴你

387
00:21:20,447 --> 00:21:22,157
得把他們攆出去

388
00:21:24,952 --> 00:21:28,580
-好,丹尼貝利
-就是我本人

389
00:21:28,664 --> 00:21:30,082
有罪推定

390
00:21:30,165 --> 00:21:32,376
或在合理否認前無罪

391
00:21:32,459 --> 00:21:35,128
檢察官辦事不力,無效審判

392
00:21:36,088 --> 00:21:37,172
真好玩

393
00:21:37,256 --> 00:21:39,174
你覺得好玩嗎?我們玩得很開心

394
00:21:39,258 --> 00:21:41,760
比喬許和服務生蠢妹好玩多了

395
00:21:41,844 --> 00:21:43,887
-不覺得嗎?
-我想是吧

396
00:21:43,971 --> 00:21:46,598
好,妳覺得那隻泰迪熊怎麼樣?

397
00:21:46,682 --> 00:21:48,100
長得有夠恐怖

398
00:21:48,183 --> 00:21:49,601
-妳要嗎?
-要

399
00:21:49,685 --> 00:21:51,562
-你要贏下來送我嗎?
-當然不要

400
00:21:51,645 --> 00:21:55,107
妳是堅強又獨立的女性 應該自己贏下來才對

401
00:21:56,400 --> 00:21:59,653
(每次有獎,挑戰技術,小心瞄準)

402
00:22:01,697 --> 00:22:03,657
等一下,這是真槍嗎?

403
00:22:03,740 --> 00:22:05,117
如假包換

404
00:22:05,200 --> 00:22:08,579
好,左手握上槍管

405
00:22:08,662 --> 00:22:10,747
手指擺在扳機上

406
00:22:10,831 --> 00:22:12,124
現在注意了

407
00:22:12,207 --> 00:22:16,044
只要往正確方向一扣 子彈就會射出,即便動作很輕

408
00:22:16,128 --> 00:22:19,381
所以握槍時要小心,並且記住

409
00:22:19,464 --> 00:22:22,801
這東西的原理就是會爆炸

410
00:22:23,594 --> 00:22:25,137
-丹尼
-梅麗莎,怎麼了?

411
00:22:25,971 --> 00:22:28,098
這可能有點複雜

412
00:22:28,182 --> 00:22:31,935
因為我有點醉 不太確定是否同意你的說法

413
00:22:32,019 --> 00:22:36,982
但我現在滿腦子都在想你的脖子有多好聞

414
00:22:37,065 --> 00:22:41,278
以及我願意把我媽丟到公車前

415
00:22:41,361 --> 00:22:44,156
只為了換取騎到你身上的機會

416
00:22:45,449 --> 00:22:48,577
妳真有趣,什麼是公車?

417
00:22:50,078 --> 00:22:52,539
女士贏得獎賞了

418
00:22:55,375 --> 00:22:57,127
梅麗莎,這歸妳了

419
00:22:57,211 --> 00:22:59,963
我是說,就連...

420
00:23:00,047 --> 00:23:04,176
你說出我的名字時,我整個人都酥軟了

421
00:23:04,259 --> 00:23:06,637
我不太習慣這種狀況,好嗎?

422
00:23:06,720 --> 00:23:09,681
我通常是個冷靜又理智的人

423
00:23:09,765 --> 00:23:11,016
讚喔

424
00:23:11,642 --> 00:23:13,519
-“讚喔”?
-沒錯

425
00:23:13,602 --> 00:23:16,772
我喜歡自己動腦的女人,但有時候...

426
00:23:18,106 --> 00:23:19,525
妳得別想那麼多

427
00:23:25,697 --> 00:23:26,865
妳現在有什麼感覺?

428
00:23:28,158 --> 00:23:30,035
不會吧,我要唱歌了嗎?

429
00:23:30,661 --> 00:23:33,330
屬於我的歌?真的耶

430
00:23:38,335 --> 00:23:42,673
說到男歡女愛

431
00:23:42,756 --> 00:23:47,052
我從不順其自然

432
00:23:47,135 --> 00:23:51,849
比泡福馬林的青蛙還固執

433
00:23:51,932 --> 00:23:56,186
現在我該放膽去享受

434
00:23:57,145 --> 00:23:58,981
這首歌完全符合我的音域

435
00:24:01,441 --> 00:24:03,986
妳制定的計畫怎麼辦?

436
00:24:04,069 --> 00:24:05,863
膽小鬼才需要計畫

437
00:24:05,946 --> 00:24:08,615
聽說妳從不左顧右盼

438
00:24:08,699 --> 00:24:10,409
給我幾個吻就是了

439
00:24:10,492 --> 00:24:14,913
我一直是個乖乖牌

440
00:24:14,997 --> 00:24:19,293
現在該放膽去享受

441
00:24:24,506 --> 00:24:28,760
輕鬆自在...

442
00:24:28,844 --> 00:24:33,640
真是天殺的輕鬆自在

443
00:24:33,724 --> 00:24:38,145
準備品嚐我未曾嚐過的滋味

444
00:24:38,228 --> 00:24:42,816
哇,你的褲子好高腰

445
00:24:42,900 --> 00:24:45,527
說好的乖女孩呢?

446
00:24:45,611 --> 00:24:47,446
我現在想使壞

447
00:24:47,529 --> 00:24:50,199
做妳該做的事?

448
00:24:50,282 --> 00:24:51,992
你又不是我爸

449
00:24:52,075 --> 00:24:56,413
放馬過來,我要一嚐過去拒於門外的樂趣

450
00:24:56,496 --> 00:25:00,709
現在該放膽去享受

451
00:25:14,014 --> 00:25:15,015
蹦蹦

452
00:25:45,921 --> 00:25:47,047
好耶

453
00:25:52,553 --> 00:25:55,180
這真是好一段路

454
00:25:55,764 --> 00:25:58,183
是啊,我覺得避開人群挺不錯的

455
00:25:58,267 --> 00:26:00,602
尤其是避開那個沒心肝的梅麗莎小姐

456
00:26:00,686 --> 00:26:03,063
別提梅麗莎小姐了

457
00:26:03,814 --> 00:26:05,566
你這個小可憐

458
00:26:05,649 --> 00:26:07,609
你肯定很傷心

459
00:26:08,235 --> 00:26:12,239
但你放心,貝琪會讓你好起來

460
00:26:13,407 --> 00:26:14,616
你說好不好?

461
00:26:15,534 --> 00:26:17,536
好,當然好

462
00:26:21,081 --> 00:26:23,834
我好喜歡這裡

463
00:26:24,418 --> 00:26:27,462
高中生都說這裡是“破處之地”

464
00:26:27,546 --> 00:26:30,674
他們都來這裡“野餐”

465
00:26:31,800 --> 00:26:35,053
我是沒來過啦,嘻嘻

466
00:26:37,514 --> 00:26:39,725
是啊,如果妳來過

467
00:26:39,808 --> 00:26:41,727
那應該也是很久以前了

468
00:26:41,810 --> 00:26:44,104
因為妳念高中是很久以前的事

469
00:26:44,188 --> 00:26:45,272
對嗎?

470
00:26:45,355 --> 00:26:47,691
你看,我以前常盪那座鞦韆

471
00:26:47,774 --> 00:26:49,943
就在我滿14歲那年的夏天

472
00:26:50,861 --> 00:26:52,821
感覺彷彿昨日

473
00:26:52,905 --> 00:26:54,364
但不是吧?

474
00:26:54,448 --> 00:26:56,116
還有那邊

475
00:26:56,200 --> 00:26:59,661
那株特別的樹 是我爸爸在我出生那天種下的

476
00:27:00,579 --> 00:27:02,206
完蛋了

477
00:27:02,289 --> 00:27:04,249
妳的年紀真的很小

478
00:27:04,333 --> 00:27:08,629
聽我說,貝琪
我覺得現在應該先訂下幾個規矩

479
00:27:08,712 --> 00:27:11,798
關於我們今晚會發生的事

480
00:27:12,883 --> 00:27:14,468
哎唷,史金納醫生

481
00:27:14,551 --> 00:27:17,888
你為何覺得我們今晚會發生什麼事?

482
00:27:17,971 --> 00:27:20,516
我想你誤會我了

483
00:27:21,225 --> 00:27:25,354
其他女孩打情罵俏、甜言蜜語

484
00:27:25,437 --> 00:27:29,525
看到男人長褲心癢癢

485
00:27:29,608 --> 00:27:34,696
太陽下山就不守婦道

486
00:27:34,780 --> 00:27:38,825
但我會等到新婚那一天

487
00:27:40,202 --> 00:27:42,829
貝琪,妳這麼說我就放心了,是這樣的

488
00:27:42,913 --> 00:27:44,540
妳太年輕...

489
00:27:44,623 --> 00:27:48,126
其他女孩喜歡小露性感

490
00:27:48,210 --> 00:27:52,631
讓男孩子滿腦罪惡

491
00:27:53,340 --> 00:27:57,845
獻身做我沒做過的事

492
00:27:57,928 --> 00:28:02,266
因為我會等到新婚那一天

493
00:28:06,186 --> 00:28:08,814
好,妳現在有點言行不一

494
00:28:11,024 --> 00:28:14,862
寶貝,妳真是美若天仙

495
00:28:14,945 --> 00:28:17,364
我正失去理智

496
00:28:17,447 --> 00:28:21,577
希望妳沒生疏

497
00:28:21,660 --> 00:28:23,912
我已卸下心防

498
00:28:23,996 --> 00:28:30,294
寶貝,妳想不想知道裡面有什麼?

499
00:28:30,377 --> 00:28:31,545
想

500
00:28:31,628 --> 00:28:36,133
現在該放膽

501
00:28:36,216 --> 00:28:43,182
去享受

502
00:28:47,519 --> 00:28:49,354
但話說回來,有什麼好等的呢?

503
00:28:52,608 --> 00:28:53,817
爸爸

504
00:28:54,443 --> 00:28:56,445
小子,你最好開始求婚

505
00:29:01,617 --> 00:29:04,661
起先她說了什麼讓他不爽

506
00:29:05,495 --> 00:29:08,081
然後他用尖酸刻薄的話反駁她

507
00:29:09,291 --> 00:29:12,169
接著她抱怨他不懂她

508
00:29:13,086 --> 00:29:15,714
再來他就打她屁股

509
00:29:20,844 --> 00:29:27,476
這只是情侶間的口角

510
00:29:28,018 --> 00:29:29,520
你們吵歸吵

511
00:29:29,603 --> 00:29:31,271
不見得要下結論

512
00:29:31,355 --> 00:29:35,192
就是這麼簡單又明瞭

513
00:29:35,275 --> 00:29:38,153
僅僅是情侶間的口角

514
00:29:38,862 --> 00:29:40,113
起先他說

515
00:29:42,032 --> 00:29:43,158
然後她說

516
00:29:45,452 --> 00:29:49,373
每對男男女女都注定吵得不可開交

517
00:29:55,921 --> 00:29:59,591
夏娃與亞當在伊甸園嬉戲

518
00:29:59,675 --> 00:30:02,511
住在那裡快活樂逍遙

519
00:30:03,303 --> 00:30:06,723
直到亞當說:“女士,抱歉打擾

520
00:30:06,807 --> 00:30:10,102
但我的蘋果被咬了一口”

521
00:30:10,185 --> 00:30:13,564
他們發生了

522
00:30:13,647 --> 00:30:17,317
情侶間的口角

523
00:30:17,401 --> 00:30:19,069
你們鬧歸鬧

524
00:30:19,152 --> 00:30:20,863
不見得要就此分手

525
00:30:20,946 --> 00:30:22,656
就是這麼簡單又明瞭

526
00:30:22,739 --> 00:30:24,741
字幕翻譯:陳彥含