1 00:00:02,127 --> 00:00:04,546 [upbeat orchestral music playing] 2 00:01:12,656 --> 00:01:15,868 -Push! Yes! There you go! -[woman yells] 3 00:01:15,951 --> 00:01:18,328 -Okay, give me one more good push! -[woman yells] 4 00:01:18,412 --> 00:01:20,247 You can do it, Holly! 5 00:01:20,330 --> 00:01:23,125 -Tell her she can do it, Ted. -[Holly strains, yells] 6 00:01:23,208 --> 00:01:26,211 Okay, Ted says you can do it, Holly! Yes. 7 00:01:41,310 --> 00:01:43,020 [sighs] 8 00:01:52,404 --> 00:01:53,614 [grunts] 9 00:01:54,990 --> 00:01:56,617 I usually give it a kick. 10 00:01:56,700 --> 00:01:57,993 -Oh, really? -Yeah. 11 00:01:58,952 --> 00:02:01,079 -Right there. -[scoffs] 12 00:02:01,163 --> 00:02:03,582 I mean, I could do it for you, if you'd like. 13 00:02:03,665 --> 00:02:06,752 No, I've been doing all my own kicking since third grade, so... 14 00:02:09,086 --> 00:02:12,799 What, so just one kick and then apparently magic? 15 00:02:12,883 --> 00:02:13,800 Mm-hmm. 16 00:02:15,177 --> 00:02:16,303 [machine clicks] 17 00:02:19,014 --> 00:02:20,140 [chuckles] 18 00:02:35,531 --> 00:02:37,115 Josh. 19 00:02:37,199 --> 00:02:39,868 This has been the best year of my life. 20 00:02:39,952 --> 00:02:43,121 I never thought I'd meet someone I connect with on so many levels. 21 00:02:43,872 --> 00:02:47,709 You make me feel like I have a champion and a confidant. 22 00:02:47,793 --> 00:02:52,130 I can tell you anything without judgment, and you always have my back. 23 00:02:52,714 --> 00:02:55,592 I love you. So here's to us. 24 00:02:56,635 --> 00:02:57,761 I feel the same way. 25 00:02:59,137 --> 00:02:59,972 What? 26 00:03:00,556 --> 00:03:02,015 "I feel the same way"? 27 00:03:02,099 --> 00:03:04,643 Yeah. Yeah. Can we clink now? 28 00:03:04,726 --> 00:03:06,103 It's our one-year anniversary. 29 00:03:06,186 --> 00:03:09,481 I guess I was expecting something a little more special. 30 00:03:10,732 --> 00:03:13,694 Sorry to interrupt. Would you like to see the dessert tray? 31 00:03:14,653 --> 00:03:15,779 Sure, why not? 32 00:03:20,534 --> 00:03:22,035 Happy anniversary. 33 00:03:46,810 --> 00:03:48,020 No, it's mine. 34 00:03:57,154 --> 00:04:00,991 So, what is the Sacred Heart Love Trail all about? 35 00:04:01,074 --> 00:04:04,328 Well, six years ago, Joanna and I 36 00:04:04,411 --> 00:04:06,955 took a look around and we were super bummed. 37 00:04:07,039 --> 00:04:09,708 All these relationships falling apart. 38 00:04:09,791 --> 00:04:12,211 Heartbreak out there on the planet. 39 00:04:12,294 --> 00:04:14,463 So Marv and I created a way 40 00:04:14,546 --> 00:04:18,466 for couples to disconnect from the world and reconnect with each other. 41 00:04:18,550 --> 00:04:22,513 Before you head out, there's a couple of items that we've provided. 42 00:04:22,596 --> 00:04:23,722 In your love bags. 43 00:04:23,805 --> 00:04:26,433 The most important is a heart 44 00:04:26,517 --> 00:04:30,145 carved out of sacred Chippewa stone with your name on it. 45 00:04:30,229 --> 00:04:33,106 We ask that you give this to your partner every day 46 00:04:33,190 --> 00:04:35,609 and think about what that really means... 47 00:04:35,692 --> 00:04:37,945 -...to give your heart to someone. -I love them. 48 00:04:38,028 --> 00:04:41,698 Feel free to explore, but don't wander too far from the trail. 49 00:04:41,782 --> 00:04:44,034 There's no cell service here in the wild, 50 00:04:44,117 --> 00:04:46,537 and we don't want anyone dying out there. 51 00:04:46,620 --> 00:04:47,829 -[all chuckle] -[both] Right. 52 00:04:47,913 --> 00:04:51,708 Seriously, uh, some people died last time. 53 00:04:51,792 --> 00:04:54,169 [Joanna] Most of all, remember to use this time 54 00:04:54,253 --> 00:04:56,213 as a way to grow your love for each other. 55 00:04:56,296 --> 00:04:58,090 And don't worry about the clouds. 56 00:04:58,173 --> 00:05:00,008 Weatherman says it'll clear soon 57 00:05:00,092 --> 00:05:02,386 and the rest of the week is nothing but sunshine. 58 00:05:02,469 --> 00:05:04,096 [thunder rumbling] 59 00:05:04,179 --> 00:05:05,556 -Mel! -Leave me alone! 60 00:05:05,639 --> 00:05:07,683 All I said was we should bail on the hike. 61 00:05:07,766 --> 00:05:10,561 I didn't mean us in general. I just meant the hike! 62 00:05:10,644 --> 00:05:13,146 I mean, come on, we've been lost for hours, 63 00:05:13,230 --> 00:05:15,482 our phones don't work, we're wet and miserable, 64 00:05:15,566 --> 00:05:17,693 you're pissed off at me for some reason. 65 00:05:17,776 --> 00:05:19,570 -Oh. "For some reason"? -Okay. 66 00:05:19,653 --> 00:05:21,238 You lost my heart. 67 00:05:21,321 --> 00:05:23,198 I gave you my heart and you lost it. 68 00:05:23,282 --> 00:05:24,950 Mel, it was a rock. 69 00:05:25,033 --> 00:05:26,243 It was a metaphor. 70 00:05:26,326 --> 00:05:28,954 I imbued it with meaning when I gave it to you. 71 00:05:29,037 --> 00:05:30,664 Are you sure I didn't give it back to you? 72 00:05:30,747 --> 00:05:32,833 Check your backpack, 'cause I'm telling you, I di-- 73 00:05:32,916 --> 00:05:35,252 Then why do I have your heart? 74 00:05:36,545 --> 00:05:39,339 All right, so-- so what-- Do you want me to go look for it? 75 00:05:39,423 --> 00:05:42,092 Okay, I'll do it. I will search this whole forest 76 00:05:42,176 --> 00:05:45,470 for that one vaguely heart-shaped rock. Is that what you want? 77 00:05:45,554 --> 00:05:46,722 Yeah. 78 00:05:47,931 --> 00:05:49,474 Babe, it's a rock. 79 00:05:49,558 --> 00:05:52,603 What is the point of doing this if you're not gonna put in any effort? 80 00:05:52,686 --> 00:05:54,980 I don't know what the point of this is at all. 81 00:05:55,063 --> 00:05:56,982 You don't wanna make our relationship better? 82 00:05:57,065 --> 00:05:59,443 Our relationship is fine. 83 00:05:59,526 --> 00:06:02,321 It's... fine. 84 00:06:02,404 --> 00:06:04,156 Why does everything have to be perfect? 85 00:06:04,239 --> 00:06:05,824 Why can't it just be enough? 86 00:06:05,908 --> 00:06:08,118 Okay. Yeah. Keep pretending nothing's wrong, right? 87 00:06:08,202 --> 00:06:09,828 'Cause it's easier that way. 88 00:06:09,912 --> 00:06:11,121 This is exhausting. 89 00:06:11,205 --> 00:06:12,623 [church bells tolling] 90 00:06:13,373 --> 00:06:15,250 Wait. What's that? 91 00:06:15,334 --> 00:06:17,294 -Church bells? -You hear them too? 92 00:06:18,128 --> 00:06:20,756 You sometimes hear church bells no one else does? 93 00:06:20,839 --> 00:06:21,924 [laughs mockingly] 94 00:06:24,718 --> 00:06:26,929 [bells continue tolling] 95 00:06:27,012 --> 00:06:29,473 [Melissa] There must be a town across that bridge. 96 00:06:30,849 --> 00:06:31,934 You see a bridge too? 97 00:06:32,601 --> 00:06:33,977 Oh, we're still doing that? 98 00:06:51,954 --> 00:06:54,581 [birds chirping] 99 00:06:56,458 --> 00:06:57,459 Whoa. 100 00:07:00,546 --> 00:07:01,797 That was weird. 101 00:07:02,840 --> 00:07:04,299 It stopped raining. 102 00:07:05,425 --> 00:07:06,718 "Schmigadoon"? 103 00:07:07,803 --> 00:07:10,347 As long as they have a functioning toilet, I'm in. 104 00:07:10,430 --> 00:07:12,558 [Josh] And what's with all the fake plants? 105 00:07:12,641 --> 00:07:14,601 [Melissa] Maybe they're conserving water. 106 00:07:15,143 --> 00:07:17,688 [people chattering] 107 00:07:20,566 --> 00:07:22,317 [Josh] Okay... 108 00:07:22,401 --> 00:07:23,569 What is this? 109 00:07:23,652 --> 00:07:26,488 [music starts] 110 00:07:26,572 --> 00:07:30,242 And why is music coming from everywhere? 111 00:07:30,325 --> 00:07:33,036 ♪ Welcome to our little town ♪ 112 00:07:33,120 --> 00:07:35,330 ♪ Where friends are all you'll meet ♪ 113 00:07:36,540 --> 00:07:38,792 ♪ And you will never see a frown ♪ 114 00:07:38,876 --> 00:07:40,210 Hey, everyone. 115 00:07:40,294 --> 00:07:42,296 Hey there, Pete. 116 00:07:42,379 --> 00:07:48,844 [all] ♪ We bet you're prob'ly Wonderin' what we call ♪ 117 00:07:48,927 --> 00:07:55,934 ♪ The most beautiful, wonderful Magical place of all ♪ 118 00:07:57,686 --> 00:07:59,271 What-- What is happening? 119 00:07:59,354 --> 00:08:02,816 It must be something they do for tourists. Like Colonial Williamsburg. 120 00:08:06,445 --> 00:08:09,698 ♪ Schmigadoon ♪ 121 00:08:09,781 --> 00:08:12,993 ♪ Where the sun shines bright From July to June ♪ 122 00:08:13,076 --> 00:08:16,413 ♪ And the air's as sweet as a macaroon ♪ 123 00:08:16,496 --> 00:08:20,083 ♪ Schmigadoon ♪ 124 00:08:21,001 --> 00:08:23,795 Okay, we did not buy tickets. I repeat, we're not ticket holders. 125 00:08:23,879 --> 00:08:25,214 Stop it. Let them sing. 126 00:08:25,297 --> 00:08:28,717 ♪ Schmigadoon ♪ 127 00:08:28,800 --> 00:08:32,179 ♪ Where it's warm And safe as a new cocoon ♪ 128 00:08:32,261 --> 00:08:35,390 ♪ And our hearts all glow Like a harvest moon ♪ 129 00:08:35,474 --> 00:08:38,018 ♪ Schmigadoon ♪ 130 00:08:38,101 --> 00:08:39,102 ♪ Schmigadoon ♪ 131 00:08:39,186 --> 00:08:42,606 [townsmen] ♪ Where the men are men And the cows are cows ♪ 132 00:08:42,688 --> 00:08:46,068 [townswomen] ♪ And the farmers smile As they push their plows ♪ 133 00:08:46,151 --> 00:08:50,531 [all] ♪ And the trees are tall And we call it Schmigadoon ♪ 134 00:08:51,114 --> 00:08:52,741 Come on, it's charming. 135 00:08:52,824 --> 00:08:55,035 Charming? It's Wicker Man. 136 00:08:56,119 --> 00:09:00,165 ♪ Our schoolmarm is Emma Tate She helps our kids to punctuate ♪ 137 00:09:00,249 --> 00:09:02,793 ♪ Still unmarried at 28 ♪ 138 00:09:02,876 --> 00:09:04,336 [chorus] ♪ In Schmigadoon ♪ 139 00:09:04,419 --> 00:09:08,674 [townsmen] ♪ Farmer McDonough craved a son But he had daughters, every one ♪ 140 00:09:08,757 --> 00:09:10,926 ♪ Touch 'em and you'll answer to my gun ♪ 141 00:09:11,009 --> 00:09:12,719 -[chorus] ♪ In Schmigadoon ♪ -[gun fires] 142 00:09:12,803 --> 00:09:14,680 -Ow! -Sorry, Pete! 143 00:09:14,763 --> 00:09:16,974 [chorus] ♪ Larry Bean puts out our fires ♪ 144 00:09:17,057 --> 00:09:19,017 ♪ Helen Pritt conducts the choirs ♪ 145 00:09:19,101 --> 00:09:21,144 ♪ Doc is here to cure what ails ♪ 146 00:09:21,228 --> 00:09:23,188 ♪ And I am here in case he fails ♪ 147 00:09:23,272 --> 00:09:25,357 ♪ He is here in case he fails ♪ 148 00:09:25,440 --> 00:09:27,568 Is Pete okay? 149 00:09:27,651 --> 00:09:29,361 [chorus] ♪ Henry Brown brings our ice ♪ 150 00:09:29,444 --> 00:09:31,238 ♪ Madam Vina gives advice ♪ 151 00:09:31,321 --> 00:09:33,365 ♪ In that shack is Buford Riggs ♪ 152 00:09:33,448 --> 00:09:35,742 ♪ I do unspeakable things to pigs ♪ 153 00:09:35,826 --> 00:09:37,578 [chorus] ♪ He does unspeakable things to pigs ♪ 154 00:09:38,620 --> 00:09:40,080 [lisping] It's the mayor! 155 00:09:40,622 --> 00:09:41,874 This is never gonna end. 156 00:09:41,957 --> 00:09:44,084 Shh. It's the mayor. 157 00:09:44,168 --> 00:09:46,545 ♪ As mayor of Schmigadoon ♪ 158 00:09:47,546 --> 00:09:50,841 ♪ I feel that I must stress ♪ 159 00:09:50,924 --> 00:09:52,801 ♪ Our motto is ♪ 160 00:09:52,885 --> 00:09:56,972 ♪ "We always strive For peace and happiness" ♪ 161 00:09:57,556 --> 00:09:59,558 [all] ♪ Our motto is ♪ 162 00:09:59,641 --> 00:10:05,856 ♪ "We always strive For peace and happiness" ♪ 163 00:10:05,939 --> 00:10:06,940 ♪ But... ♪ 164 00:10:07,024 --> 00:10:08,901 It's Mrs. Layton. 165 00:10:08,984 --> 00:10:12,696 ♪ If Schmigadoon is to endure ♪ 166 00:10:12,779 --> 00:10:16,158 ♪ It must be kept pristine and pure ♪ 167 00:10:16,241 --> 00:10:19,870 ♪ This land on which our fathers trod ♪ 168 00:10:19,953 --> 00:10:24,791 ♪ Must ever obey the laws of God ♪ 169 00:10:26,710 --> 00:10:27,836 Everybody! 170 00:10:30,464 --> 00:10:33,634 ♪ Schmigadoon! ♪ 171 00:10:33,717 --> 00:10:37,513 ♪ Where the church bells ring Every day at noon ♪ 172 00:10:37,596 --> 00:10:40,474 ♪ And the Wells Fargo wagon Brought my new harpoon ♪ 173 00:10:40,557 --> 00:10:42,392 -[chorus] ♪ Schmigadoon ♪ -[harpoon fires] 174 00:10:42,476 --> 00:10:44,394 -Ow! -Sorry, Pete. 175 00:10:44,478 --> 00:10:47,523 [townsmen] ♪ Where a man can dream Dreams so big and wide ♪ 176 00:10:47,606 --> 00:10:51,068 [townswomen] ♪ And a gal can be there Right by his side ♪ 177 00:10:51,151 --> 00:10:54,571 [all] ♪ And there's hope for all Whether great or small ♪ 178 00:10:54,655 --> 00:10:58,158 ♪ There's no folderol Bring your parasol ♪ 179 00:10:58,242 --> 00:11:02,162 ♪ And we call it ♪ 180 00:11:02,246 --> 00:11:05,290 ♪ Schmiga ♪ 181 00:11:05,374 --> 00:11:08,919 ♪ Schmiga, Schmiga Schmiga, Schmiga ♪ 182 00:11:09,002 --> 00:11:15,551 ♪ S-C-H-M-I-G-A-D-O-O-Ohhh! ♪ 183 00:11:16,301 --> 00:11:19,888 ♪ Schmigadoon! ♪ 184 00:11:20,556 --> 00:11:21,557 [music ends] 185 00:11:21,640 --> 00:11:22,891 Whoo! Whoo-hoo! 186 00:11:22,975 --> 00:11:25,811 Yay! You guys did that! 187 00:11:25,894 --> 00:11:27,688 -Can we please go now? -Already? 188 00:11:27,771 --> 00:11:29,523 You know how much I hate musicals. 189 00:11:29,606 --> 00:11:31,567 People don't just burst into song in real life. 190 00:11:31,650 --> 00:11:34,820 Well, you seem okay with magical hammers that come back when you call them. 191 00:11:34,903 --> 00:11:36,196 That's totally different. 192 00:11:36,280 --> 00:11:39,032 Thor is the god of thunder, and of course Mjollnir comes back when he calls. 193 00:11:39,116 --> 00:11:40,951 -Howdy, folks. -[Josh] Oh, no. 194 00:11:41,034 --> 00:11:42,786 Please do not make me interact with the performers. 195 00:11:42,870 --> 00:11:46,874 You know how much I hate the-- [loudly] Hey! Mr. Mayor. 196 00:11:46,957 --> 00:11:49,209 Welcome to Schmigadoon. 197 00:11:49,293 --> 00:11:51,962 Mayor Aloysius Menlove at your service. 198 00:11:52,045 --> 00:11:53,797 And this is my wife, Florence. 199 00:11:53,881 --> 00:11:55,299 Here, have a button. 200 00:11:55,382 --> 00:11:57,676 I'm running unopposed again. 201 00:11:57,759 --> 00:11:59,678 [both] But who doesn't love buttons? 202 00:12:01,346 --> 00:12:03,849 -I'm Melissa. This is Josh. -Pleased to meet you. 203 00:12:03,932 --> 00:12:06,018 You'll be staying at the Schmigadoon Inn, of course. 204 00:12:06,101 --> 00:12:09,980 Oh, you'll love it. Aloysius and I stayed there on our honeymoon. 205 00:12:10,063 --> 00:12:12,232 Although we didn't get much sleep that night 206 00:12:12,316 --> 00:12:14,234 on account of all the roosters out back. 207 00:12:14,943 --> 00:12:17,362 -I see. -Actually, we were just headed out, so-- 208 00:12:17,446 --> 00:12:19,573 You know, we've been sleeping on the ground for days, 209 00:12:19,656 --> 00:12:22,201 so why would we pass up an actual bed? 210 00:12:22,284 --> 00:12:23,660 That settles it then. 211 00:12:24,244 --> 00:12:26,788 Carson. Run down to the inn 212 00:12:26,872 --> 00:12:30,250 and tell Harvey we have two very special guests checking in. 213 00:12:30,334 --> 00:12:31,877 [lisping] Yes, sir, Mr. Mayor. 214 00:12:34,046 --> 00:12:38,425 Well, what an unusual and exotic couple the two of you make. 215 00:12:38,509 --> 00:12:40,344 No wedding rings, I see. 216 00:12:40,427 --> 00:12:42,721 -Oh, no, we're not married. -Definitely not. 217 00:12:43,305 --> 00:12:44,640 -Really? -What? 218 00:12:44,723 --> 00:12:46,308 Anyhoo, I'm Mildred Layton, 219 00:12:46,391 --> 00:12:48,977 and this is my husband, the Reverend Layton. 220 00:12:49,061 --> 00:12:51,230 Shoulders back, Howard, like you have a purpose. 221 00:12:51,313 --> 00:12:53,106 Well, I hope you folks can stay till Sunday. 222 00:12:53,190 --> 00:12:55,609 Would love to see you in the congregation, it'd be real special. 223 00:12:55,692 --> 00:12:58,695 Oh, I can promise you we'll be long gone before then. 224 00:12:58,779 --> 00:13:01,615 -So, where's this inn? -Ah, right this way. 225 00:13:03,158 --> 00:13:06,578 Hey. Be nice. They're trying. 226 00:13:06,662 --> 00:13:08,664 And it's kind of modern. 227 00:13:08,747 --> 00:13:10,207 I mean, you saw the ensemble. 228 00:13:10,290 --> 00:13:11,542 It's color-blind casting. 229 00:13:11,625 --> 00:13:13,043 Yeah, but I also get the feeling 230 00:13:13,126 --> 00:13:16,421 the preacher's wife doesn't like our color-blind casting. 231 00:13:16,505 --> 00:13:17,965 What do you say, little lady? 232 00:13:18,048 --> 00:13:19,508 Want the thrill of a lifetime? 233 00:13:19,591 --> 00:13:20,926 Ooh-- 234 00:13:21,009 --> 00:13:22,177 First ride's on me. 235 00:13:23,095 --> 00:13:25,514 You just keep your distance, Danny Bailey. 236 00:13:25,597 --> 00:13:28,392 This town would be a far more decent place without the likes of you. 237 00:13:28,475 --> 00:13:30,227 Now, Mrs. Layton, you don't mean that. 238 00:13:30,310 --> 00:13:31,478 Oh, yes, I do. 239 00:13:31,562 --> 00:13:34,022 You're nothing but a scoundrel, a rapscallion, 240 00:13:34,106 --> 00:13:36,316 and, pardon my Jewish, a no-goodnik. 241 00:13:36,400 --> 00:13:38,026 Go ahead, the inn's right over there. 242 00:13:38,110 --> 00:13:41,029 Don't waste any more of your time with this carnival trash. 243 00:13:41,655 --> 00:13:44,658 Yeah, looks like the town bad boy has a thing for you. 244 00:13:44,741 --> 00:13:47,953 -Guess I'm gonna have to kick his ass. -Oh, that I'd like to see. 245 00:13:58,255 --> 00:13:59,548 Sorry to keep you waiting. 246 00:13:59,631 --> 00:14:02,009 You must be the visitors everyone's talking about. 247 00:14:02,092 --> 00:14:04,511 -Suppose you're looking for a room. -Two rooms. 248 00:14:06,054 --> 00:14:07,347 They're not married, Harvey. 249 00:14:07,431 --> 00:14:10,851 And I'm sure you're well aware of the town rules regarding such things. 250 00:14:10,934 --> 00:14:13,437 Yes. Yes, of-- of course, Mrs. Layton. 251 00:14:13,520 --> 00:14:14,897 Uh, two rooms. 252 00:14:16,231 --> 00:14:18,108 Okay, I get it. 253 00:14:18,192 --> 00:14:21,278 You're the preacher's wife, and we're living in sin. 254 00:14:21,361 --> 00:14:23,197 It's like, "Oh, we're going to hell!" 255 00:14:23,280 --> 00:14:25,449 [chuckles] Just the one room, please. 256 00:14:28,744 --> 00:14:31,872 Uh, sorry, sir. Town policy is town policy. 257 00:14:31,955 --> 00:14:35,000 Okay, listen, Harvey the Innkeeper. 258 00:14:35,083 --> 00:14:37,044 I'm tired and frankly not up for playing along 259 00:14:37,127 --> 00:14:39,004 -with your little show-- -Josh, don't waste the energy. 260 00:14:39,087 --> 00:14:40,839 It's one night. We'll take the two rooms. 261 00:14:40,923 --> 00:14:43,133 Wonderful. That'll be a dollar. 262 00:14:44,218 --> 00:14:47,888 Fine. Yeah. Um... [clears throat] Okay. 263 00:14:50,140 --> 00:14:52,809 Here's a dollar for two rooms. 264 00:14:52,893 --> 00:14:54,394 Thank you, kindly. 265 00:14:54,478 --> 00:14:56,188 This is ridiculous. 266 00:14:56,271 --> 00:15:00,150 Yeah, so to clarify, you're mad because two rooms only cost a dollar? 267 00:15:00,234 --> 00:15:01,735 No, I'm just-- 268 00:15:01,818 --> 00:15:05,822 I'm not interested in pretending we're in the olden days right now. 269 00:15:05,906 --> 00:15:09,243 Okay, I don't wanna tell you how to feel about this, 270 00:15:09,326 --> 00:15:10,994 but can you feel different? 271 00:15:11,620 --> 00:15:14,122 I just wanna get a freaking room with my girlfriend 272 00:15:14,206 --> 00:15:17,084 where there's Wi-Fi and I can check the score of the Yankees game 273 00:15:17,167 --> 00:15:18,168 and read my email. 274 00:15:18,252 --> 00:15:21,046 Sorry, sir. Mail wagon won't be here until next week. 275 00:15:21,129 --> 00:15:22,756 -I hate you. -Okay. 276 00:15:24,299 --> 00:15:25,634 [Melissa stammers] 277 00:15:26,301 --> 00:15:27,970 You guys really are so great. 278 00:15:32,558 --> 00:15:36,228 Okay, granted, this place is a little insane. 279 00:15:36,311 --> 00:15:40,190 Thank you. It is important to me that we can hate things together. 280 00:15:40,274 --> 00:15:42,359 I know, sweetie. Me too. 281 00:15:42,442 --> 00:15:44,361 Look, I'm sorry that I overreacted to all this. 282 00:15:44,444 --> 00:15:46,905 I just wish all these people would die. Is that wrong? 283 00:15:46,989 --> 00:15:48,699 -All right. -[Josh sighs] 284 00:15:48,782 --> 00:15:51,785 Ooh. Hey. You know what I wanna do? 285 00:15:51,869 --> 00:15:57,332 I'm gonna take a long, hot shower, and then maybe go on the Tunnel of Love. 286 00:15:57,416 --> 00:15:59,835 -Really? -I know, it's corny, 287 00:15:59,918 --> 00:16:01,795 but what else is there to do, right? 288 00:16:01,879 --> 00:16:03,380 It might be kind of romantic. 289 00:16:04,506 --> 00:16:07,092 You got it. I'll pick you up at 7:00. 290 00:16:07,176 --> 00:16:08,802 -I'll be waiting. -Oh? 291 00:16:08,886 --> 00:16:13,348 And hey, um, you know, just 'cause we have two rooms 292 00:16:13,432 --> 00:16:15,851 doesn't mean we gotta use two rooms. 293 00:16:15,934 --> 00:16:19,688 -Oh. Mm-hmm. -You know what I'm thinking? 294 00:16:20,355 --> 00:16:21,398 [Mildred clears throat] 295 00:16:28,197 --> 00:16:29,406 I hate this place. 296 00:16:29,489 --> 00:16:31,325 -I'll see you at 7:00. -Can't wait. 297 00:16:49,676 --> 00:16:50,761 Josh? 298 00:16:52,930 --> 00:16:53,972 Josh. 299 00:17:01,230 --> 00:17:02,981 [snores] 300 00:17:22,416 --> 00:17:23,585 Evening, miss. 301 00:17:24,336 --> 00:17:27,005 Evening, mister. 302 00:17:27,089 --> 00:17:29,466 I don't believe we were properly introduced. 303 00:17:29,550 --> 00:17:31,093 The name's Danny. 304 00:17:32,094 --> 00:17:35,264 -Danny Bailey. -Ah, yes, the rapscallion. 305 00:17:35,347 --> 00:17:36,765 I'm Melissa. Gimble. 306 00:17:40,185 --> 00:17:42,312 It's beautiful here at night. 307 00:17:42,396 --> 00:17:43,814 It's not alone. 308 00:17:45,065 --> 00:17:46,358 Offer's still open. 309 00:17:46,441 --> 00:17:48,902 First ride's on me. Second one too. 310 00:17:49,486 --> 00:17:52,447 Oh, no, I'm just here to look around. 311 00:17:52,531 --> 00:17:53,740 You're a funny kid. 312 00:17:54,867 --> 00:17:57,160 Wow, look at all the blossoms. 313 00:17:57,244 --> 00:17:58,871 Happens a lot this time of year. 314 00:17:59,663 --> 00:18:02,541 Whenever the wind blows. 315 00:18:02,624 --> 00:18:05,002 So. You have a feller? 316 00:18:05,085 --> 00:18:07,379 Yes, I have a feller. 317 00:18:07,462 --> 00:18:11,842 And he's okay with you walking on your own at night, talking with strange men? 318 00:18:12,509 --> 00:18:14,303 Well-- He's... 319 00:18:15,554 --> 00:18:17,306 What's the question again? 320 00:18:17,389 --> 00:18:19,600 Wait a minute. What are you trying to do? 321 00:18:19,683 --> 00:18:21,226 Are you trying to get me to fall for you? 322 00:18:21,810 --> 00:18:23,103 What? No. 323 00:18:23,187 --> 00:18:26,023 Then why do those crazy kind of thoughts keep running through my head? 324 00:18:26,106 --> 00:18:28,901 -Uh... Oh, I don't really-- -Well, you can forget it. 325 00:18:28,984 --> 00:18:32,571 Because no woman is gonna tie Danny Bailey down, no how. 326 00:18:32,654 --> 00:18:33,655 Sure. 327 00:18:33,739 --> 00:18:39,870 ♪ When a squirrel wants another squirrel He don't bother to get attached ♪ 328 00:18:39,953 --> 00:18:41,371 Oh, I get a private show. 329 00:18:42,998 --> 00:18:46,668 ♪ And a robin don't think About the future ♪ 330 00:18:46,752 --> 00:18:50,672 ♪ When he's got an itch to be scratched ♪ 331 00:18:50,756 --> 00:18:52,257 You're very good. 332 00:18:52,341 --> 00:18:56,845 ♪ I'm like an animal in the wild ♪ 333 00:18:56,929 --> 00:19:02,100 ♪ So here's a truth to which You must be reconciled ♪ 334 00:19:02,184 --> 00:19:03,852 Need a better agent. [chuckles] 335 00:19:07,481 --> 00:19:14,279 ♪ You can't tame me This buck was meant to be free ♪ 336 00:19:14,363 --> 00:19:21,203 ♪ A cowgirl on the range in El Paso Smiled at me and got out her lasso ♪ 337 00:19:21,286 --> 00:19:27,292 ♪ And that's when I put on the gas Oh, you can't tame me ♪ 338 00:19:34,174 --> 00:19:40,848 ♪ You can't tame me I'm like the wind on the sea ♪ 339 00:19:40,931 --> 00:19:44,518 ♪ A music teacher named Annabella ♪ 340 00:19:44,601 --> 00:19:47,980 ♪ Tried her best to make me her fella ♪ 341 00:19:48,063 --> 00:19:53,861 ♪ But I choose to live a cappella You can't tame me ♪ 342 00:19:53,944 --> 00:19:56,822 ♪ It's true ♪ 343 00:19:58,073 --> 00:20:01,952 ♪ But if anyone could ♪ 344 00:20:02,035 --> 00:20:09,042 ♪ It'd be someone like you ♪ 345 00:20:19,469 --> 00:20:21,847 Oh, I don't dance. I mean, I took like a year of tap-- 346 00:20:21,930 --> 00:20:24,808 Shh. Let's let our bodies do the talking. 347 00:20:24,892 --> 00:20:27,728 Oh, well our mouths are technically part of our bodies, so... 348 00:20:44,286 --> 00:20:47,789 ♪ And somehow I can see ♪ 349 00:20:48,332 --> 00:20:55,088 ♪ Just exactly how it'd be ♪ 350 00:20:58,133 --> 00:21:01,470 ♪ In a cozy little cottage With a white picket fence ♪ 351 00:21:01,553 --> 00:21:04,640 ♪ And a tractor that always needs fixin' ♪ 352 00:21:06,183 --> 00:21:09,436 ♪ And beamin' with pride Is the prettiest bride ♪ 353 00:21:09,520 --> 00:21:12,856 ♪ This side of the Mason-Dixon ♪ 354 00:21:12,940 --> 00:21:16,902 ♪ We'd have a kid Or two or three ♪ 355 00:21:16,985 --> 00:21:22,074 ♪ Two girls for you And two boys for me ♪ 356 00:21:22,157 --> 00:21:24,284 Shouldn't all the kids be for both of us? 357 00:21:24,868 --> 00:21:28,705 ♪ And the two of us'd Share one heart ♪ 358 00:21:28,789 --> 00:21:33,836 ♪ Till someday we'd die one day apart ♪ 359 00:21:35,379 --> 00:21:37,047 But that'll never be. 360 00:21:37,130 --> 00:21:40,342 ♪ 'Cause you can't tame ♪ 361 00:21:40,425 --> 00:21:47,057 ♪ Me ♪ 362 00:21:47,140 --> 00:21:48,141 [music ends] 363 00:21:48,809 --> 00:21:50,978 Great. Bravo. 364 00:21:51,061 --> 00:21:53,480 That was a very handsome song. 365 00:21:54,273 --> 00:21:55,274 What song? 366 00:21:55,941 --> 00:21:58,277 The one you were just singing to me. 367 00:21:58,360 --> 00:21:59,778 Singing? 368 00:21:59,862 --> 00:22:01,280 Okay. 369 00:22:02,155 --> 00:22:04,950 It's late. Uh, I'm tired. 370 00:22:05,033 --> 00:22:06,660 It's getting weird. 371 00:22:06,743 --> 00:22:10,372 So, thank you and good night. 372 00:22:14,877 --> 00:22:16,879 [rooster crows] 373 00:22:18,922 --> 00:22:20,257 Sorry about last night. 374 00:22:21,508 --> 00:22:23,927 I seriously didn't mean to fall asleep. 375 00:22:25,179 --> 00:22:26,388 But to make it up to you, 376 00:22:26,471 --> 00:22:29,975 today we can do that Tunnel of Love ride as many times as you want. 377 00:22:30,058 --> 00:22:32,561 Yeah, I'm good. I'm really hungry. 378 00:22:32,644 --> 00:22:34,062 Can we order? Waitress! 379 00:22:36,231 --> 00:22:37,941 Good morning. How we doing today? 380 00:22:38,025 --> 00:22:39,151 Sleep well last night? 381 00:22:39,234 --> 00:22:41,528 Yes, uh, Betsy. Slept like a log. 382 00:22:44,114 --> 00:22:46,283 Oh, my gosh, "like a log"? 383 00:22:46,366 --> 00:22:49,077 That is hilarious, 'cause logs don't sleep. 384 00:22:49,161 --> 00:22:51,038 -You're so funny! -[stammers] 385 00:22:51,121 --> 00:22:53,457 -I'm not that funny. -He's really not. 386 00:22:53,540 --> 00:22:55,334 -Could we maybe order something? -Sure. 387 00:22:55,417 --> 00:22:59,421 You are actually in luck, because today we have our world-famous corn puddin'. 388 00:22:59,505 --> 00:23:01,673 Corn puddin'? What's that? 389 00:23:01,757 --> 00:23:02,966 What? 390 00:23:03,842 --> 00:23:07,054 Are you trying to tell me that you've never heard of corn puddin'? 391 00:23:07,137 --> 00:23:09,723 -She's never heard of corn puddin'! -[townsfolk gasp] 392 00:23:09,806 --> 00:23:13,602 Oh, no. It's a song. You just started another song. 393 00:23:13,685 --> 00:23:15,771 ♪ Corn puddin' Corn puddin' ♪ 394 00:23:15,854 --> 00:23:18,357 ♪ Corn puddin', corn puddin' Corn puddin', corn puddin' ♪ 395 00:23:20,526 --> 00:23:21,860 Can we opt out of this? 396 00:23:23,195 --> 00:23:25,322 [townsmen] ♪ My gal loves corn puddin' ♪ 397 00:23:25,405 --> 00:23:27,366 ♪ She eats it constantly ♪ 398 00:23:27,449 --> 00:23:29,576 ♪ Sometimes I get to wonderin' ♪ 399 00:23:29,660 --> 00:23:31,495 ♪ Does she love it more than me? ♪ 400 00:23:31,578 --> 00:23:34,540 [all] ♪ Does she love it more than me? ♪ 401 00:23:35,791 --> 00:23:38,043 [townswomen] ♪ My guy loves corn puddin' ♪ 402 00:23:38,126 --> 00:23:40,087 ♪ I've got the recipe ♪ 403 00:23:40,170 --> 00:23:42,422 ♪ So if he wants my puddin' ♪ 404 00:23:42,506 --> 00:23:43,882 ♪ He'll have to marry me ♪ 405 00:23:43,966 --> 00:23:46,927 [all] ♪ Oh, he'll have to marry me ♪ 406 00:23:50,222 --> 00:23:52,683 ♪ You put the corn in the puddin' And the puddin' in the bowl ♪ 407 00:23:52,766 --> 00:23:55,102 ♪ You put the bowl in your belly 'Cause it's good for the soul ♪ 408 00:23:55,185 --> 00:23:57,646 ♪ You put the corn in the puddin' And the puddin' in the bowl ♪ 409 00:23:57,729 --> 00:23:59,982 ♪ You put the bowl in your belly 'Cause it's good for the soul ♪ 410 00:24:00,065 --> 00:24:02,234 ♪ Who wants corn puddin'? ♪ 411 00:24:02,317 --> 00:24:04,695 ♪ We want corn puddin' ♪ 412 00:24:04,778 --> 00:24:07,030 ♪ Who wants corn puddin'? ♪ 413 00:24:07,114 --> 00:24:09,408 [chorus] ♪ We want corn puddin' ♪ 414 00:24:12,911 --> 00:24:15,706 -W-What? -Oh, I think they want us to take a verse. 415 00:24:15,789 --> 00:24:18,792 -I'm not singing, and you're not singing. -Come on, could be fun. 416 00:24:18,876 --> 00:24:20,878 No. Do not. 417 00:24:20,961 --> 00:24:22,546 ♪ Never had corn puddin' ♪ 418 00:24:22,629 --> 00:24:23,630 Why? 419 00:24:24,214 --> 00:24:26,758 ♪ And it may be a waste ♪ 420 00:24:27,593 --> 00:24:29,636 ♪ But if you've got some extry ♪ 421 00:24:29,720 --> 00:24:30,637 "Extry"? 422 00:24:30,721 --> 00:24:32,723 ♪ I sure would like a taste ♪ 423 00:24:32,806 --> 00:24:35,225 ♪ Oh, she sure would like a taste ♪ 424 00:24:36,977 --> 00:24:41,523 ♪ Corn, corn, corn, corn, corn ♪ 425 00:24:41,607 --> 00:24:46,320 ♪ Puddin'! ♪ 426 00:24:48,614 --> 00:24:49,781 ♪ Yum! ♪ 427 00:24:49,865 --> 00:24:50,866 Yum! 428 00:24:51,491 --> 00:24:53,118 Ooh, that was so weird. 429 00:24:53,202 --> 00:24:55,787 It was like as soon as I started singing, I knew what to say. 430 00:24:55,871 --> 00:24:57,789 That's fantastic. Can we please go now? 431 00:24:57,873 --> 00:24:59,750 -What? Why? -Are you serious? 432 00:24:59,833 --> 00:25:02,753 The entire town and you just spent the last five minutes 433 00:25:02,836 --> 00:25:04,338 singing about corn pudding. 434 00:25:04,421 --> 00:25:06,465 Did somebody say, "corn puddin'"? 435 00:25:06,548 --> 00:25:08,008 -That's it, we're leaving. -[song restarts] 436 00:25:08,091 --> 00:25:10,761 -Okay, well that one's on you. -[chorus repeating] ♪ 'Corn puddin' ♪ 437 00:25:12,137 --> 00:25:13,805 I just feel bad, you know? 438 00:25:13,889 --> 00:25:16,058 Everybody was so nice. We didn't even say goodbye. 439 00:25:16,141 --> 00:25:17,559 And risk starting another song? 440 00:25:17,643 --> 00:25:18,852 They'll be fine. 441 00:25:23,106 --> 00:25:24,274 What? 442 00:25:27,110 --> 00:25:28,278 Wait a minute. 443 00:25:32,366 --> 00:25:33,867 What is going on? 444 00:25:33,951 --> 00:25:37,329 -It's like we can't leave. -[Josh] Well, of course we can leave. 445 00:25:40,457 --> 00:25:42,417 Okay, this is freaky. 446 00:25:42,501 --> 00:25:44,545 It's like it's magic or... 447 00:25:44,628 --> 00:25:46,380 -It's not magic. -Well, then what is it? 448 00:25:46,463 --> 00:25:49,258 I don't know. It's like a trick bridge or something. 449 00:25:49,341 --> 00:25:51,426 A trick bridge? What would that even be? 450 00:25:51,510 --> 00:25:53,136 It would be this, okay? 451 00:25:55,597 --> 00:25:56,849 I'm gonna try something. 452 00:26:18,620 --> 00:26:20,205 This cannot be happening. 453 00:26:22,666 --> 00:26:25,544 What's going on, Josh? What is this? 454 00:26:25,627 --> 00:26:26,920 [man laughs] 455 00:26:28,088 --> 00:26:32,718 ♪ Once ye have entered Schmigadoon ♪ 456 00:26:32,801 --> 00:26:37,556 ♪ 'Tis true ye won't be leaving soon ♪ 457 00:26:37,639 --> 00:26:43,437 ♪ Within its borders ye are bound ♪ 458 00:26:43,520 --> 00:26:48,609 ♪ Until at last true love ye've found ♪ 459 00:26:49,401 --> 00:26:54,823 ♪ But till ye find it, ye must stay ♪ 460 00:26:55,532 --> 00:27:01,663 ♪ Where life's a musical every day ♪ 461 00:27:10,005 --> 00:27:11,298 Was that a leprechaun? 462 00:27:13,091 --> 00:27:14,301 Yes. 463 00:27:14,384 --> 00:27:15,719 Yeah. Uh-huh. 464 00:27:15,802 --> 00:27:17,804 He-- He said something. What did he say? 465 00:27:18,889 --> 00:27:19,973 I don't know. 466 00:27:20,057 --> 00:27:24,770 I was more focused on how he was shattering my whole construct 467 00:27:24,853 --> 00:27:27,356 of what's real and not real in the world, 468 00:27:27,439 --> 00:27:29,399 because he was a freaking leprechaun. 469 00:27:30,275 --> 00:27:32,319 "Life's a musical every day." 470 00:27:36,949 --> 00:27:40,077 This isn't some tourist attraction. 471 00:27:40,160 --> 00:27:41,620 This is a musical. 472 00:27:41,703 --> 00:27:43,997 We're in an actual musical. 473 00:27:44,081 --> 00:27:45,707 Oh, please, God, no. 474 00:27:45,791 --> 00:27:48,752 But he said we're only here till we've found true love, which-- 475 00:27:48,836 --> 00:27:50,379 I love you. Do you love me? 476 00:27:50,462 --> 00:27:51,797 What? Yes, of course. 477 00:27:52,548 --> 00:27:54,842 So let's try the bridge again, now that we know the rules. 478 00:27:54,925 --> 00:27:56,218 Yes. Now we know. 479 00:27:57,469 --> 00:27:58,637 -I love you. -Oh. 480 00:27:59,638 --> 00:28:01,098 I love you too. 481 00:28:01,181 --> 00:28:03,267 You hear that, Mr. Leprechaun? 482 00:28:03,350 --> 00:28:04,685 We're in love. 483 00:28:05,853 --> 00:28:08,564 [sweeping music plays] 484 00:28:14,027 --> 00:28:15,654 [music fades] 485 00:28:20,284 --> 00:28:22,995 ♪ Welcome to our little town ♪ 486 00:28:23,078 --> 00:28:25,289 ♪ Where friends are all you'll meet ♪ 487 00:28:26,498 --> 00:28:29,209 ♪ And you will never see a frown ♪ 488 00:28:29,293 --> 00:28:32,254 -Hey, everyone. -[all] Hey there, Pete. 489 00:28:32,337 --> 00:28:38,802 ♪ We bet you're prob'ly Wonderin' what we call ♪ 490 00:28:38,886 --> 00:28:45,893 ♪ The most beautiful, wonderful Magical place of all ♪ 491 00:28:52,983 --> 00:28:55,986 ♪ Schmigadoon ♪ 492 00:28:56,069 --> 00:28:59,531 ♪ Where the sun shines bright From July to June ♪ 493 00:28:59,615 --> 00:29:02,951 ♪ And the air's as sweet as a macaroon ♪ 494 00:29:03,035 --> 00:29:05,579 ♪ Schmigadoon ♪ 495 00:29:05,662 --> 00:29:06,663 ♪ Schmigadoon ♪ 496 00:29:06,747 --> 00:29:09,791 ♪ Where a man can dream Dreams so big and wide ♪ 497 00:29:09,875 --> 00:29:13,337 ♪ And a gal can be there Right by his side ♪ 498 00:29:13,420 --> 00:29:16,840 ♪ And there's hope for all Whether great or small ♪ 499 00:29:16,924 --> 00:29:20,427 ♪ There's no folderol Bring your parasol ♪ 500 00:29:20,511 --> 00:29:24,181 ♪ And we call it ♪ 501 00:29:24,264 --> 00:29:27,434 ♪ Schmiga ♪ 502 00:29:27,518 --> 00:29:31,188 ♪ Schmiga, Schmiga Schmiga, Schmiga ♪ 503 00:29:31,271 --> 00:29:37,819 ♪ S-C-H-M-I-G-A-D-O-O-Ohhh! ♪ 504 00:29:38,570 --> 00:29:42,157 ♪ Schmigadoon! ♪