INSIDER TIPS, TACTICS, AND TECHNIQUES IN THE ARTS OF SEDUCTION, 
CHARISMA, AND ATTRACTION FOR THE YEAR 2000
TWO YEARS OF RESEARCH, a series of sharp and in-depth articles, exposure to over seven million people world wide, and this project has finally come to a climax. HOW TO PICK UP WOMEN 2000 is written from the perspective of the experienced male, because, in the end, we've documented as fact - what most people may have already guessed - that most women don't understand what they want when it comes to guys and relationships. 
CONTENTS-
HOW TO PICK UP WOMEN, 2000 is simple in its title, yet cutting edge and extreme in the information that its many pages reveal. Techniques and methods in seduction, charisma, and attraction as they apply to today's dating / relationship arena, and written in easy to follow language so that everyone can understand. Most guys go through life at the mercy of women. Are you one of them? Do you want to continue to be one of them?. . . 
You are About to Have Your Eyes Opened.
This book is meant for mature audiences. The information that we share with you should be dealt with in a mature fashion. Many dating books have been written for men, but nothing that comes close to HOW TO PICK UP WOMEN 2000. For the first time those in the know are explaining in full detail how it truly is. 
Of course no project is complete without looking at it from all angles. So we asked women ranging in age from 18 to 40 to read our book and give us feedback. Strangely, as interested as they seemed for the opportunity, they didn't have much to say when they were finished. The most common responses we heard were, "It's true" or "It's real." You are about to realize this for yourself. 
Women Will No Longer Be a Mystery!
For most women, it seems we hit a soft spot. In taking on this project our purpose wasn't to put women down, or to put them in check; instead it was to explain in-depth the fronts that many women unconsciously put up, the emotional processes that motivate their actions towards you, how to play off their emotional processes to make them think you're the man, how to recognize the signs of a girl that's leading you on, and then how to make her fall for you when you do. 
This is absolutely THE DATING GUIDE TO END ALL DATING GUIDES. Women nowadays have a lot of attitude, and if you're a single guy there's a lot you need to know if you want a relationship, or just a one night affair. The truth is, women like the attention they get from guys, and that's why many of them go from one to the next. You have probably seen this for yourself. Susie Homemaker is a thing of the past. Many of today's young women are manipulative and scandalous and most guys have found out the hard way. 
HOW TO PICK UP WOMEN, 2000 focuses on three main aspects of the dating / relationship arena that most guys have no idea how to approach. 
In today's words : How to be a True Player. 
HOW TO PICK UP WOMEN, 2000 gets straight to the point in full detail covering INSIDER TIPS, TACTICS, AND TECHNIQUES IN THE ARTS OF SEDUCTION, CHARISMA, AND ATTRACTION that are guaranteed to work and will transform even the insecurest of guys into confident players that get women. Giovanni Casanova, considered by most the greatest seducer that ever lived, used some of these tactics to considerable advantage. Casanova wasn't born a charismatic seducer, he simply became one through learning, which you will do as well. 
HOW TO PICK UP WOMEN, 2000 will instruct you step-by-step in what it takes to be successful in today's dating / relationship arena. Charisma. Seduction. Attraction. These three arts are what being a True Player is all about. Some guys do get all the women. 
If you read this book AND TAKE NOTES you're approach to the dating / relationship arena is about to undergo a powerful and significant change. We're not going to tell you how it's done - we're going to show you! You're going to go away with the skills and knowledge to pick up women anytime and anyplace. Attraction is universal - it's not just limited to a bar or nightclub. Women will tell you this themselves. 
Meeting and dating women is a game, and once you know the rules and how to play at a championship level, THERE'S NO GOING BACK! You will have these skills for the rest of your lifetime.
A BRIEF LOOK AT WHAT YOU'LL LEARN Charisma - How to turn women on just by the way you carry yourself. (From Chapter 1: The Seven Elements of Charisma) 
The Innocent Yet Untouchable Act - How to make women obsessed with YOU - it's based on a little-known principle in human psychology - just remember four simple words at all times... (From Chapter 3: How to Play Women that Play Guys) 
Overcome Your Male Instinct - Why too much interest destroys your game - and how to put the animal inside you in check. It's easy, if you understand why women are turned off by men who are easy to get. (From Chapter 3: How to Play Women that Play Guys) 
Mirror Your Enemies - Use the psychological tactics of the opposite sex against her. If she can't figure you out, you'll take up her thoughts, which is a key step towards reaching your goal. (From Chapter 3: How to Play Women that Play Guys) 
There is a secret to attracting gorgeous women - most guys aren't aware of it, and the few guys that do attract gorgeous women usually aren't aware of it either. You'll find that this fool-proof method used by Casanova himself to great success will pay for the book ten times over! (From Chapter 4: Playing to a Woman's Ego) 
The main reason why nice guys finish last - They're too predictable. You'll always have the upper hand when you create a state of mystery. This is how you do it... (From Chapter 5 - Nice Girls: Easy as 1, 2, 3) 
Most women want a challenge. Just knowing this gives you a huge advantage because now it's easy to awaken the animal instinct inside her to give chase. Do this by... (From Chapter 5 - Nice Girls: Easy as 1, 2 ,3)
In Chapter I: 
THE ART OF BEING SMOOTH 
COPYRIGHT © 2OOO, 3 A.M. PUBLISHING ALL RIGHTS RESERVED 
Charisma: An Overview The Seven Elements of Charisma 
charisma (n) : a personal attractiveness that enables you to influence others
You bought this book because you're hoping that it will teach you how to find the one woman that you're looking for. That's your main mistake in life right there. You're out looking for Ms. Right, when in all actuality to get with Ms. Right you have to be Mr. Right in her eyes. So stop looking. And start being. If you're like 99 out of the average hundred guys, after reading our book you are in for a major transformation of attitudes. You are about to have your eyes opened. Most Guys spend their lives as slaves to their hormones, to their emotions. They pursue women, always hoping that they'll eventually meet "the right one." In the end, their dreams and ideals tease and taunt them all through life, torturing them with periods of confusion, frustration, and even depression. . .It truly doesn't have to be this way. HOW TO PICK UP WOMEN, 2000 focuses on three main aspects of the dating / relationship arena that most guys have never had any idea how to approach: Charisma. Seduction. Manipulation. 
Some guys do get all the women. 
THE SEVEN ELEMENTS OF CHARISMA
IT'S THE SAME OLD SCENARIO: You and your friends want to hang out and go to a club, but you want a club where the women are attractive and have some class. There might be twenty or so nightclubs to choose from, but with standards like these you really only have four or five. And forget it - as much as your optimistic-adrenaline-testosterone self would like to believe, there is no such place as "Club Orgy." Bar hop all night, and you'll come closer to finding The Lost City of Atlantis before you'll find a club where the women that you've set your standards for are down for the one night action you've got on your mind. 
Unless of course you've got some serious game. "Game" translates in all cultures to a similar state of mind: Charisma. But what exactly is Charisma? We'll tell you what it's not - It's not arrogance. And it's not pretentiousness. It's an aura that surrounds you, that attracts people to you. Great leaders in history understood this - Hitler entranced the small country of Germany into following him in a pursuit of World Domination. The greatest con artists used charisma to lull their victims into sometimes giving up fortunes and life savings. And actor's on screen portray it in their carefully written lines and parts, when in all reality they may lack true charisma off the set. Brad Pitt has charisma on the screen - and you can bet that he's not as charismatic off it. And remember Tom Cruise in Top Gun - every guy wanted to be like him for years after that movie came out. 
Both of these actors are American icons, their on-screen personas developed over the years by numerous writers, directors, and people paid to teach "presence." You know, the same kind of people that instruct run-way models how to enter a room and command the attention of all just by the way they carry themselves. 
Maybe an easy way to make the word charisma understandable is to define it as knowing when to speak, and what to say when you speak, knowing when not to speak, and knowing how to carry yourself throughout. This takes discipline, which is acquired with practice. Actors are expected to rehearse the same parts over and over again to get things just right for the camera. Writers re-write their pieces sometimes repeatedly before their scripts are finally approved to begin a film shoot. 
As an example of what we mention above, look hard at the fine detail that Hollywood uses to craft the "on-screen presence" of a main or central character. A main or central character must command attention throughout the film to hold the audience's interest. The more attention they command, through elements of intrigue, mystery, and action, the greater their on-screen presence (also referred to as persona). Many elements go in to this "on-screen presence" - these are elements of charisma. 
But this is real life, not Hollywood. In reality, and as charisma applies to the social scene and to the women involved in the social scene, it's all about diplomacy. 
THE FIRST ELEMENT: PRESENCE 
The first element of charisma is "presence." Presence, as used here, refers to the quality of commanding respectful attention. 
To further define presence, think of it more specifically as how you carry yourself. Picture a Lotus in a parking lot of Fords. The Lotus stands alone - as an Italian sports car, it's sleek and stylishly detailed compared to the conservative and boring Fords. It's not moving, it's not talking - it's not doing a thing and yet you've taken notice of it because of its detailed features. That is presence. 
So what do you need to do create presence?
The following steps will get you will on your way: 
Image is Everything: So Pay Attention to Detail 
Dress in a style that is considered fashionable. Wear clothes that will get you compliments. You care about your image and it shows. 
Your hair should be clean-cut and matching with current "GQ" styles. And yes, keep your face clean-shaven - this reflects youth. 
Your complexion should be healthy - Tan, but not too much. 
Your posture should make you appear to be confident and at ease with your surroundings. 
Flaunt a sincere, friendly smile at strategic intervals (but don't over do it - learn to read when it is called for, and when it's not). * A sincere, friendly smile is a strong weapon. It breaks the ice, tears down people's walls, automatically paints you as a person of high self-esteem and confidence. ( * Refer to The Sixth Element: Diplomacy.) 
What is your mind set? You are in a situation that requires a strong focus on tact and diplomacy. Meaning, knowing when to speak, and what to say when you speak, knowing when not to speak, and knowing how to carry yourself throughout.
How do your eyes follow the crowd? As if you're disinterested (meaning, you're not paying too much attention to any one person) - and that's because you feel that their is nobody worthy of your attention. In other words, you're never "star-struck" because you are the star. In the end, you're goal is to give off the impression that you're a prestigious person accustomed to ranking high in social circles - not even the blonde-bombshell walking by can shake this poise. You may cast a glance, but you're to prestigious to stare. *People around you WILL notice this and subconsciously decide that you ARE a person of prestige. (* Refer to Element II: "Regal Bearing"). 
In a world where most people lack a high level of self-respect, it is easy to stand out when you have it and it shows. And if you don't have a high level of self-respect (again, like most), then fake it. Take note - the trick to faking it is to fake it with sincerity (this will be repeated further along). 
By themselves, these simple details regarding a positive, prestigious self-image don't accomplish much, but when packaged together they merge for great effect. And now you've created "presence." 
For the most part, how you are regarded by others is how people you come into contact with will regard you. But if they don't know you from Adam, if you're a complete stranger to them, then they will subconsciously prejudge you and form an early opinion of you before EVEN MEETING YOU. 
It is human instinct to look for patterns in the world around us. It is psychological, it is subconscious. We relate the situations we're presented with based on our passed experiences. 
When creating an aura of charisma, you're using this instinct to your advantage (which most people can't control because they're unaware that it is something happening in their subconscious). Here's an analogy: If you look like a thug, you'll be prejudged as probably being a thug. If you look like your gay, you'll be prejudged as probably being gay. And if you look like a charismatic person used to respect and even admiration, you will be prejudged as a person who is probably charismatic and worthy of respect and even admiration. 
Once you've been prejudged, it's that much easier to create the effect that you're after. Notice that we used the word "probably" in the above paragraph? We use the word "probably" to represent the other person's expectations. This is what he or she expects. And because they expect it, now it's that much easier to give it to them. 
Many elements make up charisma; presence is but one. Most people don't understand the charismatic persona and can only assume that it comes naturally to some people. Maybe for a very rare and select few. For the rest of us, it is an acquired art - something that we practice in our daily encounters with others until it is developed over time. Charisma opens many doors and will get you into many places otherwise far off limits. It is a very influential tool when you want something. Of the three arts we go over, Charisma is the most powerful. We discuss it in-depth first because the other two arts require it to be truly effective (interestingly, charisma, and how it applies to meeting and dating women, is overlooked in even the most popular self-help books on the current market.) 
THE SECOND ELEMENT: REGAL BEARING 
bearing (n) : The manner in which one carries or conducts oneself
The most inclusive of the elements, bearing applies to both physical posture and general conduct: "He has the poise and bearing of a champion." 
Bearing: Standing Tall 
The way you carry yourself will often determine how you are treated. If you carry yourself as if you're a person aware of social graces, and if you carry yourself as if you're a person of prestige (you're used to having respect), for the most part you will be regarded in the same fashion. Act like an important person to be treated like one. 
THE THIRD ELEMENT: MANNER 
manner (n) : a way of acting or behaving
If your presence and regal bearing have given women the impression that you're an important person and that you're considered an important person by others, manner, as we use it here, refers to how you act and behave in relation. What, then, is the manner of a charismatic persona? 
You put thought into your words and actions - you base what you do and say on how the other person will most likely react. 
Before speaking to a person, you ask yourself: How is this person going to interpret my next few words? What kind of effect are they going to have? What effect is it that I'm going for? Will I sound like I know what I'm talking about? Or will I sound like a fool? Will I sound confident? Or will I sound cocky? Will I sound sincere, or will I sound fake? Will I come across as a good conversationalist, someone who listens more than he speaks? Or will I seem as though I talk too much and therefore am not a good conversationalist? 
A charismatic persona is thought of as being a good conversationalist, among other things, and for you to continue to give off the aura of charisma that you initially gave off with your presence and regal bearing, then you need to be good at conversation. If you foul up the conversation process, then your whole charismatic presence and regal bearing are thrown out the window. And now that this woman has met you, she's made a new judgement of you. On the other hand, if you are (or at least seem to be) an exceptional conversationalist, the charismatic effect that you are going for will only be heightened. 
THE FOURTH ELEMENT: FINESSE 
finesse (n) : Refinement and delicacy of performance, execution, or artisanship
By now you've realized that many of these elements are very similar terms and carry similar definitions as each other. The first three elements, bearing, presence, and manner add together to stand for essentially the same thing: the way you carry yourself. They apply to a person's behavior. People judge other people on their behavior, especially since it reveals many distinctive personal qualities regarding their individuality or upbringing. As mentioned before, it is a subconscious habit to relate a new experience (for example, meeting someone new) with past experiences (people you've known or known of). 
Suave. Smooth. Finesse. This is how you want to go about your act. You will need to think along these lines when focusing on presence, on bearing, on manner. You shouldn't be able to tell where one ends and the other begins. They should all merge into one, each small bodies coming together to form a smooth liquid unity. 
Finesse: The Tricks of the Trade 
Never seem to be in a hurry - hurrying betrays a lack of control over yourself, and over time. 
Always seem patient, as if you know that everything will come to you eventually.
Your actions must seem natural and executed with ease - so when you act, act effortlessly, as if you could do much more. Cloak your focus on the elements (which will more than likely seem intense when you first start practicing the art) with outward cheerfulness and liveliness. Never let them see you sweat. 
Practice being subtle ("subtle," as used here, means 'So slight as to be difficult to detect or analyze; elusive.'). 
THE FIFTH ELEMENT: ENIGMA 
enigma (n) : An action, mode of action, or thing, which cannot be satisfactorily explained
In a world growing increasingly dull and familiar, what seems enigmatic instantly draws attention. Especially when it comes to today's dating / relationship arena. Many women tend to rate guys in the same grouping: little self-control, jerks when they don't get what they want, egotistical, loud, boring, macho, aggressive. . . So anything you can do to distance yourself from this group of "typical guys" stands to get you noticed - because your distance cannot be quickly and easily explained. 
The attraction of enigma can be explained as follows: It invites layers of interpretation, excites women's imagination, deceives them into believing that it conceals something exciting. 
In the dating / relationship arena, if you've got true charisma women will come to you. They can read by your presence, bearing, and manner if you're the rare kind of guy that is used to having women pursue him, as a person with true charisma is, and in a woman's subconscious mind her dream guy (Mr. Right) is a guy with true charisma. (Most women never meet their dream guy.) So if you put off the aura, suddenly her imagination is going to take over and she's going to wonder. . . Take note - she hasn't even met you and subconsciously she's already comparing you to Mr. Right. In the end, her imagination fuels the attraction. 
Imagination. . . This is why enigma is a powerful element of charisma. It was one of Casanova's secrets - women who had heard of his accomplishments wondered what made him so romantically successful. Their imaginations ignited, they had to find out for themselves. Scholars like to say that it was Casanova's skills of seduction that landed him all his women - but seduction really didn't have much to do with it, in this case. He'd never met these women and yet they wanted to get with him. "Popularity" is a common result of charisma. In this case it elevated Casanova to near celebrity status. 
There you are - with your presence, bearing, manner, and finesse - women notice you and think, What is it about him that makes him stand out? Why does he look so confident? He looks like a success in life. . . What is it about him? 
Enigma: Mystery in the Making 
Never make it too clear what you are doing or about to do. Never reveal your plans or intentions. 
Don't show all your cards. Keep things back by being purposely vague. 
Be subtly unpredictable. Focus on the little things: If you're out on the nightscene, mix up your selection of drinks from time to time; don't frequent the same clubs; change your appearance slightly; grow a goatee for a few days; don't return a phone call immediately - return a phone call immediately. Make plans and be early - the next time be late; etc. . . 
Important people impress by saying less - you should keep your words to a minimum - just enough to keep the conversation rolling... And don't volunteer much information about yourself - instead, get her to volunteer information about herself. But do this in a way that doesn't make you seem too inquisitive or too interested - both signs of someone with little self-control, and therefore someone lacking true charisma. The key here to this conversation is to be casual and non-aggressive. To accomplish the casual, non-aggressive attitude, one trick is to make yourself believe that you're not interested in her unless she goes out of her way to impress you. Make her "sell" herself to you with her words and personality. (When it's all said and done, she should be thinking that you were a "great person to talk to" - and then she'll realize that she doesn't know anything about you. Her imagination is ignited and she'll be back for more.) 
An air of enigma heightens your presence; it also creates anticipation - everyone will be watching you to see what you do next. Enigma is an interesting element because it carries over into all three arts: It is used in Charisma. It is used in Seduction. And it is used in Manipulation. So make yourself familiar with enigma. Start practicing it on a daily basis with anyone you're in contact with. Then stand back and watch the results - you'll notice people paying you a lot more attention when you're around. 
Don't imagine that to create an air of enigma you have to be beautiful or powerful. Enigma that is used in your day-to-day manner, and is subtle, has that much more power to ignite the imagination and attract attention. The fact is, most people are up front and pay little notice to their words or image. These people are completely predictable. By simply holding back, keeping certain things to yourself, and being deliberately vague, you will create an air of enigma. The people around you will then magnify that aura by constantly trying to read you. Imagination is a powerful fire - what wraps itself in enigma will almost always ignite it. 
THE SIXTH ELEMENT: DIPLOMACY 
diplomacy (n) : Tact and skill in dealing with people; subtly skillful handling of a situation involving others
Diplomacy represents a mastery of social skills. In the art of charisma, having it will make you, and not having it will break you. It is the ability to relate with anyone and everyone that you meet on their level. You must change your style and your way of speaking to suit each person and each situation. This isn't lying - this is acting. And acting, especially as it applies to charisma, is learned. You must become a chameleon, your colors constantly changing to adapt to the social atmosphere around you. In politics, a diplomat is someone sent by his government to keep up or improve relations with other governments. Although inwardly he may detest this other government and its people, he never lets it show. Instead, he shows respect and honors their customs and they love him for it. He is careful never to offend, yet he's also aware that to retain their respect he can't seem an ass-kisser. 
Diplomacy: The Secret to Highly Effective Social Skills 
Never joke about someone else's appearances or taste, generally two highly sensitive areas. 
Give compliments. Look for one or two qualities about a woman that make her stand out. It can be something in her personality, or simply the way she wears her eyeliner. By expressing compliments, you subconsciously call attention to things to compliment you on (even if she doesn't say them aloud). The ability to express compliments, and be sincere, is a rare talent, and usually she'll really appreciate it. 
Be self-observant. Hold up a mirror to your words and actions. This can sometimes come from other people telling you what they see in you, but that's not the most trustworthy method. You must learn to put yourself in other people's shoes and see yourself as they see you. Are you kissing-ass? Are you acting too-cool? Do you seem too-serious? Are you acting too-comical? Do you seem desperate for attention? By keeping an eye on your words and actions you will avoid a thousand mistakes. 
Practice modesty. While it's good to make your talents known, you can easily come across as bragging if you're not careful. All bragging will do is get you brushed away - no one likes hearing it. 
Master your emotions - Just like an actor, you must learn to cry and laugh on command when it's appropriate. You must be able to disguise your anger and frustration and to fake your satisfaction and agreement. Use the same skills to cover up any nervousness you may experience - If you're ever even slightly nervous, hide it by focusing on appearing confident - look the other person in the eye, speak clearly and audibly (don't mumble or stutter), force a sincere smile. 
Learn to be sensitive to the other person, listening for what they're really saying. 
Learn to make people feel good about themselves (but do it subtly, as if you're unaware that this is what you're doing - remember enigma and make them wonder. . .). 
These are the social skills your parents never taught you. In one word, they all represent charm. Think about it - A guy with sincere charm is usually liked by all. He's careful never to insult, never seems overbearing, he's always sensitive to the other person's likes and dislikes, and he never suffers social mishaps because he's constantly aware of what the effects will be of his words and actions. 
THE SEVENTH ELEMENT: ALLURE 
allure (n) : the power to entice or attract through personal charm
Ah, the last of the elements. It is the essence of charisma. But without the other elements, it would never be reached. When we've mentioned "aura" as a part of charisma, allure is that aura. It is infective. Women and guys alike are drawn in. Suddenly you find yourself surrounded by many friends and girlfriends ("groupies"). And once in your presence (The First Element), it's hard for them to distance themselves - as long as you continue to pay attention to each individual element. For example, diplomacy: When you excel in diplomacy (The Sixth Element), you learn to make others feel better about themselves, becoming a source of pleasure to them. In fact, they grow dependent on your manner (The Third Element) to feel good about themselves. You may call them friends, but psychologically they become your followers. Other people read this - and enigma kicks in and heightens the effect: these other people start to wonder subconsciously: There must be something exceptional ("cool" or "charming") about you that's making people want to be around you. . . What is it? Imaginations start to race. 
Suddenly we've revealed the truth to you - charisma and manipulation are very similar. At the beginning of this article we gave you a dictionary definition of the word charisma: 
charisma (n) : a personal attractiveness that enables you to influence others
And now we'll do the same for manipulation: 
manipulation (n) : exerting shrewd or devious influence especially for one's own advantage
If manipulation is a skill that is learned, then so is charisma. Con artists, it can be said, are the epitome of manipulation. When you think of a manipulator, you probably think of some slick-talking salesman or womanizer. You can see their acts from a mile away. But a true con artist, you can't see their act - they're so disguised in an aura of charisma, that even after you've been bilked of millions you have a hard time believing that this person, this business associate, this friend could have been responsible. 
Charisma is enticing - you arise "hope" and "desire" in people. They see something about you, yet they have no idea what it is. What it is is an appeal to their ideals and yearnings: Delving into the subconscious, once again, most people have an inner desire to be appreciated, to be respected, to be liked by all. But most never have this desire quite fulfilled. In the end, they feel that you represent these things and that is the allure. 
How long will it last? Practice enigma and they'll never know otherwise. If a person becomes familiar with you, sees you doing day to day things just like everyone else, then you will lose the aura of charisma because you've lost the element of enigma, and with it the element of allure. 
Charisma is a mind game; the only way to keep it about yourself is to keep a distance from others, never letting them in your presence long enough to realize that you're just a well-dressed guy that knows how to look good and talk to people - a predictable act. Keep the enigma about you and you retain the allure. 
Chapter II:
WE BE CLUBBIN'
HOW TO BE A TRUE PLAYER
COPYRIGHT © 2OOO, 3 A.M. PUBLISHING ALL RIGHTS RESERVED 
KEY POINTS: 
•	It's All in the Attitude 
•	Confidence is the Cream 
•	Secrets of the Game 
•	Down and Dirty - When all Else Fails 
•	New Jack Hustler 
•	Case Studies: These Words in Practice 
INTRODUCTION 
WARNING! : Before we go any further, we just want to say that this book was written with the Single Male in mind, someone in his twenties to early thirties, and a probable follower of popular culture. We're not talking about popular culture as it originally came about - we're talking about popular culture as it exists today. 
Let us explain: Since the early 90's, popular culture has taken a dramatic turn, starting with black culture rising up to take the music industry by storm with rap and hip hop. Performers such as Ice-T, Ice-Cube, and Eazy-E set the stage early on with lyrics rhyming of ghetto life and womanizing. Rap / Hip Hop has been an evolution. Shortly after Ice-T, Ice-Cube, and Eazy-E were on the scene, stars such as Dr. Dre, Snoop, and Tupac emerged. It was about this time that ghetto life and womanizing went truly commercial and rich white kids in Suburbia, USA, watching MTV and buying up CD's, started picturing themselves as living the life of the lives their favorite performers were singing about. Influential songs included Tupac's "I getta around," Snoop Dog's "Gin and Juice," among many others. 
As a result of this widespread influence, much of rap and hip hop brought with it a change of values that has been slowly accepted over the years and is now shared by the majority. Those of us who were in are mid teens in the early 90's, now in our mid to upper twenties come 2000, can appreciate this fact. We've seen it and experienced it. We've experienced it in the change of fashions, in the change of social cliques, and in the change of the singles scene. 
Because of this, we thought it only obvious that for us to publish a book regarding getting with women in the year 2000, we should also cover the view points and opinions that have emerged from black culture to influence much of the night scene, which is much related to being single. As the editor of this book (and as a writer for Club Planet - www.clubplanet.com), I come across black culture on the night scene all the time - whether it's bumping into Gary Payton (Seattle Supersonics) and his groupies at The Aristocrat in downtown Seattle, or just showing up at a popular spot in San Diego to find Kid Rock doing a performance to a sold out club of college kids. 
A lot can be learned from other cultures, and you're about to learn what it means to be a player in today's night scene and what it takes to get with lots of women. Some will find the following piece offensive; some will find it informative. The best advice we can give you is this: Learn from the attitudes that have emerged from black culture into today's night scene and how to adapt them into your own approach to women. 
Rap / hip hop is traditionally no holds barred, and in many cases a "Parental Advisory" label has been slapped on resulting CD's. 
The chapter that follows has been put together no holds barred. 
HOW TO BE A TRUE PLAYER
Key Point I : IT'S ALL IN THE ATTITUDE
YOU WANT TO BE A PLAYER. You're not interested in romance. You don't want a girlfriend. You want girlfriends. You want a little black book full of names of females that won't hesitate to come over at 2:30 in the morning and break you off something. Sure you could pick up any buckled beer whore at the local club, but you want better than that. You want a lifestyle full of hot women, wild nights, and the occasional menage a trois. 
But you're afraid of rejection. You're afraid she's going to say no. Or worse, laugh at you. And so you never have the balls to approach an attractive woman. And so you never get laid. Except occasionally with Rosie Palmer and her five friends. 
What's the problem? You're the problem. Your self-esteem sucks and you've got no confidence. Maybe at one time you had some confidence. But now it's gone. Confidence was what gave you game, but you picked yourself apart a long time ago worrying about all the faults women found in you. 
That's one of your problems right there. You worry too much about what women think of you. Well, don't. They're JUST HOES. 
Why should you care what some basket-case ho thinks?. . . Once you've realized this you'll have started to build up confidence. And now that you've started to build up confidence, you no longer need to worry about what women think of you. See the relation? It's what you think of yourself that determines whether you're a roach or a player. If you make yourself believe that you can get any girl to skin down, then guess what - you can get any girl to skin down. 
Player's Rule # 1: Bitches ain't shit.
"This is for the G's, and this is for the hustlers. . . " 
Key Point II : CONFIDENCE IS THE CREAM
At a bar or nightclub, or most anywhere else for that matter, it all starts with eye contact. Strong eye contact ignites a strong emotional state similar to fear. Studies have shown that when you look directly into a woman's eyes, her body produces chemicals that spark the sensation of sexuality. Strong eye contact with a woman is the first step in making her want to get naked. It also shows power. If you don't look away after she first notices your attention, it shows her that you're confident. 
After a few seconds of strong eye contact though, be ready for her to look away. This doesn't mean she's not attracted to you. Subconsciously, women have been raised to be submissive to men. After looking away, if the woman glances back again within under a minute, you can count on her more than likely being game. 
Player's Rule # 2: If you stare long enough, you'll see right through her. 
Your next step then is to smile and give her a slight nod, letting her know that you know what she’s thinking deep down. If you follow this simple little pattern, your next step then is to make your approach. And right now she doesn't expect anything less. You've got her quivering in her bar stool. From the high level of confidence you've already demonstrated by locking eyes with her, smiling, and then nodding your head, she doesn't expect anything less than for you to make an approach. Keep an eye on her body language - if she seems interested, she probably is. Don't hesitate, or another player's going to swoop down before you. 
Key Point III : SECRETS OF THE GAME
It's true. You never get a second chance to make a first impression. Your opening line needs to be delivered clearly and confidently and should relate to the woman or the present situation. This early on, your first words and how they're said are important because this is all she has to measure you up on. And if you can manage it, the less clever your opening the better. You can hit her up with a compliment. Tell her you like her necklace. There's probably ten things you could compliment her on if you look and think hard enough. 
Women will tell you that lines don't work. We'll tell you that most women are wrong - the trick is making them think that you're not giving them a line. You do this by seeming casual and sincere. But some women, no matter how casual and sincere you are, will still turn you down. They do it to make themselves feel good. We call them "player haters." (More about "player haters" is mentioned further along.) Which brings us to. . . 
Player's Rule # 3: Weed out the women that are game from the women that aren't. 
This is a very interesting point to take into consideration. It helps you realize that even though you're this smooth, cool, confident fellow now, you're still going to experience the occasional rejection. It's like the sales profession. A successful person in sales knows that he may only have a ten percent buying market for his product. This means that the salesperson would have to pitch a hundred prospective buyers to get ten that actually buy. That's ninety rejections! The salesperson is successful though because this is what he expects. So if you ever get a drink dumped over your head, just remember Player’s Rule # 3 and take it in stride. 
Player's Rule # 4: Ten Will Getcha Two. 
Every time. Talk to ten women and you’ll get two that are game. Get ten phone numbers and two will eventually pay off. 
When picking up women, you've got to be careful to mix up your lyrics from time to time because women each have their own personalities. (Or so they think.) Using different lyrics will also make you sound more sincere. And it's good to develop your own style. Your own style will set you apart from the other players who are on the same mission as you. 
Contrary to popular belief, conversation with a women you've never met is actually pretty easy. As long as you follow two simple guidelines: 
Let her do most of the talking — this is accomplished by picking up on key words or phrases that she uses and then throwing them back at her in an effort to keep conversation going. Let her tell you about herself. Women love to think that the world revolves around them. She'll feel like a star. And the more you get her to talk about herself, the more you'll make her feel like a star. (But you know otherwise.) 
Keep her eyes locked on yours — of course you do this by locking your eyes on hers. The moment she starts to lose interest in you her eyes will drift off to other things. 
If this happens it probably means that she's getting bored with the conversation - maybe you took the spotlight from her and began telling her too much about yourself. Move quick to get her interest back. Either shift the conversation to reflect one or more of the key words or phrases you've picked up on that she's been using, or move on to another step. Like ask her to dance or offer to buy her a drink. 
Except you don't ask her to dance or you don't offer her a drink. You're a player with a lot of confidence. You take her by the hand and lead her to the dance floor. You buy two drinks and place one in front of her. (This is also an excellent opening move.) She'll feel obligated to drink it. And if you get her to drink two of more, not only is she showing that she's interested in you by the time that she's spending in your company, but she's also getting buzzed. 
Some women are worth getting with more than once. If you happen to find one of these "special" women, be sure to record her phone number, as well as where she works. Where she works is important to know because this reveals a little bit about her personality. To get far in the game, it's important to know which direction a woman's coming from. There's two basic personality types—"Easy" women, and "Not-so-easy" women. If she's easy, then all she needs is a couple of drinks and she'll be on her back. But if she's not-so-easy then it's going to take a few maneuvers. 
Let's say for example that you meet a really attractive woman one evening, but no matter how many lines you throw at her, you only manage to get her phone number. So now what? Do you call her back the next day, panting like a puppy dog, and ask her for a date? Hell, no. You're a player. Give her the impression that she's nothing special to you. Wait a few days before you call her back. 
Here's an act you can put on when you call: 
When she answers the phone, purposely ask for a different woman. When she says you've got the wrong number, ask her what number you just dialed. She'll tell you her number and then you say something like, "I'm sorry, I meant (the woman's name)." Immediately follow this with, "I don't know what I was thinking. Your phone number's like one digit off of. . . (it's important to pause here for a second or two before finishing). . . my sister's." 
Because you paused, she'll know that you're lying. But that's cool, though. That's what you want. In sales they call it "fear-of-loss." It's psychological. When you fear-of-loss a customer, it helps make him or her feel a need for the product. The same goes for women. 
This tactic can also be used if all you have is the woman's pager number. Page her, and then when she calls back, act like you think it’s some other woman by calling her a different name. For example, let’s say you page a girl named Lucy. When Lucy calls back and asks if someone paged, say, "What’s up Angela? Don’t you get enough? Quit calling me." Of course Lucy will say, "This is Lucy, not Angela." 
You see, it's key to make women believe that you've got game. Game translates into prestige, and prestige translates into charisma. Some women are turned off by this, however. We call them "player haters." But that's no big deal. Remember Players Rule # 3? You're weeding out the ones that are game from the ones that aren't. 
Key Point IV :
DOWN AND DIRTY - WHEN ALL ELSE FAILS
* Contributor's note: The piece that is about to follow was almost left out. We realized that there would be some ho out there who would read it and figure out that she'd been had. (Actually there's more than one ho out there.) We argued long and hard over this. Finally we gave in. We'd promised that if you read this book and took our tips into practice you'd start getting women. So, against better judgment, here it is. . . 
LIGHTS, CAMERA, ACTION!
Scams are part of the game. If you're going to be a major player, then you need to be able to pull a major act. Just like an actor. But instead of under the cameras and bright lights, the local bar or nightclub is your movie set. (Or anywhere else you're putting on game.) And on your set you're the scriptwriter, director, and producer. You're a fucking star. So whatever role you choose play it like one. 
Player's Rule # 5: Fake It 'till You Make It. 
Scenario: You're at a bar seated with a woman you've just met. You're dressed flashy. The drinks you ordered just arrived. You reach into your pocket and pull out your wallet, "accidentally" dropping a couple of business cards on the table which the ho you're seated with, out of curiosity, grabs and reads. 
The business card states that you're an Assistant Movie Producer. The address reads Hollywood, California. 
If she falls for this, which more than likely she will because this is a rare scam, YOU ARE GETTING LAID. 
Have a good pitch, know a little bit about camera angles, and mention names like "Rod Steele" whom you "do some work with." "He's unknown up here," you can tell her, "but down in L.A. he's popular for his work." 
With this approach you represent fame, excitement, and the glamour lifestyle. This is the shit women dream about. But be careful. After five successful nights of using this act on five different hoes in five different clubs, one of us ran into a woman who actually was in the movie industry. A couple of questions and he was revealed as a fake. 
Player's Rule # 6: Roll With the Punches. 
If your cover’s been blown, roll with the punches. Smile big and then tell her that not only is she gorgeous, but that she's also incredibly intelligent. Act impressed. Tell her that you don't see that very often. Then follow up by saying that you love that in women. 
If you use your imagination, you'll discover that there's a million scams you can pull. Sure the first couple scams you try might not go to smooth, but hey, practice makes perfect. And don't feel bad. This is good for both of you. You get your rocks off on the girl and the girl gets her rocks off the next day bragging to all her friends about the assistant movie producer (or whatever role you played) that she got naked with. So chalk it up as a one-nighter and she'll never know. 
Because most women don't travel in packs any smaller than two, some scams are better pulled when you have a friend in on the action. It's like a tag-team. If everything goes right you'll both get laid. 
Here's a good scam to pull using a friend: 
Scenario: You're posing as a couple of journalists for a popular magazine. With a couple backpacks and some expensive camera equipment the two of you rented earlier that day, you march into a bar and take a table to yourselves as far away from the action as possible. You ignore everyone. You place the cameras on the table and whip out a couple of notebooks. These are your props. (And you'll eventually discover that they're your conversation pieces.) Compare notes for a while. Lean in close to each other. You're ignoring everyone. Your work is important and this is what the two of you are discussing. You're ignoring everyone. 
But everyone is not ignoring you. Women throughout the bar noticed when you marched in with your equipment, noticed that you took a table far away from the action, noticed that neither of you even glanced at a woman. Noticed that you look important. They can see that you aren't here to pick up one of them. 
The two of you have become the main event. All the women are casting looks at one another as they share the same thought — I better make a move quick before one of these other ladies trys. And with every minute that goes by that the two of you remain unapproached, the better. Because the heat is rising. With their eyes these women are challenging each other. They're tigresses on the hunt — there's fifty of them and only one meal. And that's you. And as the evening progresses, be secure knowing that when a couple women finally do come up to your table, they'll already be dripping wet. Getting them to skin down will be easier than snapping your fingers. 
Key Point V: NEW JACK HUSTLER
Player's Rule # 7: Get in and Get Out! 
These are probably life’s greatest words to live by. You should take this to mean that if things are going good, get out while the gettin's good. If you’re winning big at the craps tables, get up and cash out. If you’re holding up a bank and you’ve emptied three cash tills, don’t stick around to empty the last two. GET OUT WITH YOUR MONEY! And when you swoop down on a woman who’s boyfriend just stepped away for a moment, Get in and get out! Don’t hesitate. Get her phone number and go back to your business. 
It might go something like this: 
A smooth hustler, Mikey, sees this attractive girl, but she’s got a date. Mikey hangs tight, sipping his drink, scoping the scene, waiting to make his move. And then it happens. The girl's date steps away for a moment—maybe to buy a drink. It doesn’t matter. Mikey’s in like a shark. “Hey, yo, baby girl,” says Mikey. “Where do we know each other?” 
Translation:
“You look familiar. Have we met before?” 
Says the ho, “I don’t think so.” 
“My boys call me Mikey, and you girl?” 
Translation:
“I’m Mikey. What’s your name?” 
The ho says, “I’m Kiley.” 
“Yo, Kiley, what makes you so sly?” 
Translation:
“Tell me a little about yourself.” 
Mikey lets her talk for a few moments but then cuts in before her date can return. He says, “I saw you got a friend tonight, so I’d hate to keep you out. What’s your number?” 
He jots down her phone number and then boogies. 
Get in and get out! 
Player's Rule # 8: Some Do Taste Better With Age 
" I certainly think that it is better to be impetuous than cautious, for fortune is a woman, and it is necessary, if you wish to master her, to conquer her by force; and it can be seen that she lets herself be overcome by the bold rather than by those who proceed coldly. And therefore, like a woman, she is always a friend to the young, because they are less cautious, fiercer, and master her with greater audacity." - Niccolo Machiavelli, 1469 - 1527 
With older women it's pretty basic. Here's two really easy steps to follow: 
Compliment her every time you see her. Older women are attracted to young guys who give off the persona that they will develop into major "players" when they're older. The ability to give compliments reflects this. It shows your confidence. Keep in mind that a lot of women fantasize about being seduced by a younger guy. Even married women. So your goal with these compliments is to not come across as nice — it’s to come across as manipulative. This is where you become a hustler in their eyes. And all women subconsciously have an inner need to be hustled. Believe that. 
In a humorous fashion, feed a woman this line: "When I'm older and more mature (assuming that you, the reader, is younger, of course), and make it big, will you be available for me?" 
She may see you now as a "big thinker" who's going to be a success in life. It doesn't matter what age they are, women are attracted to success. You may now represent to her an "interesting affair." 
In any of your flirting, if she ever says "I'm too old for you" or, "You're too young," you can say, "You just need a little youth in you." Or, "You’re wrong, girl. You’re like an exotic wine. You taste better with age." (It’s important to call her "girl." When you do you immediately take control of the situation.) 
Some older hoes would rather seduce a young guy into an affair. In this case, it would be the older ho who would instigate things. To make the situation arise, the proper conditions need to exist. Think back to Players Rule # 5. Fake it ‘till you make it. 
Whenever you're around her, act like you're uncomfortable. Let her catch you gazing at her body. Immediately whip your eyes away. She's attracted to your shyness. And she likes the attention - it reminds her of her younger days. To give her the impression that she's aroused you and made you uncomfortable, rub your hand across the back of your neck, then, for greater effect, rub your hand around your shirt collar (classic move). Now she definitely knows that you’re aware of her sexuality. And this turns her on. 
Key Point V:
Case Studies: THESE WORDS IN PRACTICE
Player's Rule # 9: Never Show Your True Colors 
Most women are attracted to players. But many have too much of an ego to get with one. If they know that you're a player, then they know that there's a chance that they're going to get played and they don't want to give you that power. So never show your true colors. A real player never gives women the impression that he's a player. 
Instead of focusing on being sly, he focuses on simply appearing confident. Sounds easy, right? Hell, no. Unless you understand how people read other people who display confidence, it's an almost guarantee that you're going to be "read" as being a player, which in reality is a negative when trying to meet fine women in nice clubs. If you're dressed with style and care about your image, it's going to show. First, it's going to get you attention. The women might not be obvious about it, but they do notice you. Those first 30 seconds that you're in the club can prove to set the stage for the rest of the night. 
You've heard the saying you never get a second chance to make a first impression? Check this - going into a club well-dressed and clean cut, you don't even have a first chance. You're tagged a "player" the moment you walk through the door. 
That ain't good. 
Because fine women usually have huge ego's, and they resent the idea that you don't acknowledge them for their super-star status. Each of these fine women, in one way or another, thinks that the world revolves around them, and that includes the guys that they want to get with. If they see you as a player, then they see you as a threat to their strong self-centered set of beliefs. Why? Because if you're a player, then you think that the world revolves around you. 
What to do? You've got about 30 seconds to act. First off, start smiling. You're a smiling mo' fucker. But not a cocky smile - a friendly smile. To make this work, you have to have some purpose behind it. If you're with friends, turn your attention to them. Laugh. Bullshit. If you see some other friends, swoop down and say what's up to them. If you recognize a girl you've met before, give her a hug. ( * a little off topic here, but the hug is a true pimp-technique. When women see other women hugging you, they're going to want a piece too.) 
Through all of this, the fine women in the club have no idea what you're saying. All they know is that you're dressed with style, clean cut, and appear to be friendly. Most guys, on the other hand, who show style and are clean cut - AND GO CLUBBIN' - are usually players. You're using this stereotype to your advantage. 
Confidence plays a role in all of this by making you appear sincere and not fake. Confidence is believing full-force in what you're doing. If you're low in your self-belief when trying something new, you're going to do a half-ass job and it's going to show. Full-force are the key words. This is what will make you stand out. And if you need to fake it early on, the trick to faking it is to fake it with sincerity.
These words in practice: 
To demonstrate what we're talking about in the above paragraphs, this week we travel to Seattle's Pioneer Square district, a six block radius of bars and nightclubs located in the heart of downtown where thousands of male and female clubbers alike swoop down for some hard core weekend action. Taking part, we have two guests: Brad Pitt and Jim Cameron. Of course we know Brad Pitt from A River Runs Through It, the early scenes of Meet Joe Black, and also Fight Club. In this scenario, we use Brad Pitt's confident and outgoing character that Hollywood seems to love. Jim Cameron, on the other hand, isn't a Hollywood celebrity, just a twenty-five year old who grew up in T-Town (Tacoma, Washington) and now resides on the Seattle Eastside. As far as women and nightclubs go, Jim's been down with it since day one. 
We're outside of The Last Supper Club, smack-dab in Pioneer Square. Look down the street in any direction and you see lines of people at hot dog stands and you also see lines of people waiting to get into the many bars and clubs. The Last Supper Club is one the more trendy spots in the city (at the date of this writing) with a strict dress code of no hats and no tennis shoes. In other words, you need to be looking sharp to get in. The VIP line is in full effect tonight. 
We send Brad Pitt in first. 
He doesn't even last two minutes. Confident and outgoing and the All-American male, he got player-hated hard. The fine women saw him as a threat to their super ego's. 
Sorry, Hollywood - that's real life for you. 
Jim goes in next. He tells us to come in with him. Using our passes, we take the VIP entrance. We buy our drinks, Jim surprisingly doesn't. Instead he orders a cup of water and starts a conversation with the bartender, an attractive brunette with nice breasts. It's too loud in the club to hear what they're saying, but Jim keeps the bartender talking for about five minutes. There's more than one bartender working the bar, but a line starts to form anyway behind Jim of guys and women wanting to order drinks. Suddenly the bartender reaches across the bar and hugs Jim, and then kisses him on the cheek. He turns to us, smiling big-time, and shrugs a shoulder, as if he has no idea what that was about. 
The women in the line behind him and also the ones at the bar saw the whole thing. 
Jim comes back to us. He says, "As soon as she gave me the water, I gave her a five dollar tip. It was easy to keep her talking after that. Then right when I was about to leave, I said, 'I just gave you a five dollar tip. I'm at least gonna get a hug, right?' I didn't ask for the kiss - she threw that in on her own." 
We don't need to get into detail now, but it's an easy guess that the women who approached him later on the dance floor had fallen for the cool/friendly act he'd put on at the bar. 
So what was the difference between Jim's approach and Brad Pitt's? Brad Pitt thought that just his looks and presence would make women want to approach him, whereas Jim understood that he needed to be a little manipulative and trick women into wanting to approach him. Every guy in the nightclub could be considered a "product" on a store shelf - Jim, a "product" as well - created "demand" for himself when women in the club saw him receiving the attention of the attractive bartender. "Product demand" is a concept in successful marketing because business people understand that it plays off the human psychology "to want what others have." 
FINAL WORD
As you've found out by reading this, there really isn't much to being a player. And there really isn't much to picking up women. It all boils down to confidence. And when it comes to confidence, there's no magic formula — you're as confident as you think you are. 
Here's a point to think about: 
They’re all the same. 
What's this mean? 
You’ve seen one ho, you’ve seen them all. 
Hoes play games. Hoes in Miami pull the same shit as hoes in Seattle. Hoes in New York City pull the same shit as hoes in L.A. And that’s why it’s so easy to be a player. Because you already know what they’re all about. 
P L A Y E R H U M O R
Oh, yeah. . . One more thing worth mentioning that's guaranteed to get you laid. . . 
Scenario:
You're parked out in front of a bar. It's a few minutes before it closes for the night and drunken hoes are beginning to stagger out in groups of two's and three's. You're wearing a jacket that has your name stitched into the fabric above the breast pocket and you're also carrying a small clipboard. You look professional, like you have a job to do. 
You get out of your car and march into the bar. You take a second or two to scope out the scene. Hoes are everywhere. Most of them look like they've had too much to drink. You laugh to yourself. This is almost like taking candy from a baby. 
With one hand, you shake your car keys high above your head and shout, "SOMEONE CALL A TAXI?" 
Chapter III
SENORITAS ESCANDALOSA Scandalous Women
HOW TO PLAY WOMEN THAT PLAY GUYS
COPYRIGHT © 2OOO, 3 A.M. PUBLISHING ALL RIGHTS RESERVED
KEY POINTS: 
•	Why Some Women Leadd Guys On - How to Spot the Warning Signs 
•	They're All the Same - Master The Unexpected 
•	She Can't Play A Player 
INTRODUCTION:
"A reputation for honesty gives you the cover
to practice all manner of deception." - unnamed con-artist.
IT HAS TAKEN A LONG TIME for this subject to finally make it to print. She is the woman in the Tarantino movie From Dusk Till Dawn, standing atop the table in the tavern of outlaws, swaying in a cobra-like dance to a rhythmic and exotic beat. And like a deadly cobra entranced by a musician's tune, she has no control over what she does. It is her instinct. She has brought down some of history’s greatest leaders; empires have crumbled, monarchs have fallen into chaos because of her presence. She knows the male mind, the male ego, and she’s known how to control it since time began. She senses her power, her command of male attention. 
She’s scandalous. 
And in today’s world, she’s caused the fall of a few hardcore players from a state of grace. 
This isn’t a normal female. You may be a Leo DiCaprio or even a Brad Rowe, but still, the moment you've shown any attachment or affection, you’ve already lost, and soon she’s on to the next sucker. She has an inner need to be wanted by all, yet possessed by none. 
She’s out there. She knows exactly what to say to find your soft spot. The truth is, if you’ve got any game whatsoever, she sees you for being a male who's full of himself (like we all are) and she wants to cut you down for the thrill. Whether you’re a high-powered politician or just your average night clubber. 
It’s about time we recognized her for what she is. 
Key Point I : WHY SOME WOMEN LEAD GUYS ON - HOW TO SPOT THE WARNING SIGNS 
Giovanni Casanova had a reputation for seducing women and, over time, he used his reputation to seduce even more women. Casanova was a living legend, and women who had heard of him became interested to find for themselves what made him such a heart-throb. 
Casanova was smooth. 
Let's turn the tables. What if Casanova had been a woman who had a reputation for seducing guys? Would guys have become interested to find out what made her so good at it? More than likely not. If you're a girl with a nice body and a pretty face, it's not hard to seduce a guy. No mystery there. 
So there's a difference between smooth players and scandalous women. Don't try to understand one by relating her actions to the other. They're not the same. Both have different motives and methods of operation. A scandalous woman wants to be liked and pursued by lots of guys, while a smooth player just wants sex with lots of women. He could care less whether they like him or not, or whether they even pursue him. In fact, for the most part he'd rather they didn't pursue him because he prefers to do without the drama. For scandalous women, it seems it's otherwise. If she can get a guy to cause drama, then she goes away satisfied that she had an effect on him. 
We talked with a scandalous woman recently and asked her questions in regards to her opinion of guys and relationships. One comment she made that really stood out was, "Why do guys have to fall so in love?" 
Read that again. What is she saying? 
She's saying that she's scandalous and she doesn't even realize it. 
Some guys may "fall so in love" with her because she gives them the illusion early on that she's the right girl for them. She tells them things that every guy wants to hear. "You're mysterious." "We're compatible." "You're so big." She leads them on, then suddenly she's gone, and the guy feels a strong desire to have her back. Guys become attached because they are blinded by optimism and their pursuit of ideals. In other words, they think that this woman could be "the one." They don’t read the subtle signs women give; they don’t look for the clues behind what women say. This woman has no intentions of sticking around and yet the guy ignores the fact. It’s the old saying, you want what you can't have. For most guys, all this causes is anxiety. But if they can understand that it’s their male instinct to pursue a female maybe they can overcome it and keep control. 
Key Point II : THEY'RE ALL THE SAME 
Scandalous women are good at what they do because they don't necessarily realize what they're doing. That is, they don't understand that it's because of their frequent mood swings that they go from one guy to the next. They don't have to put on an act. It's their emotional processes that determine their actions. If you want to make a scandalous woman curious, she needs to find you a little mysterious. To make her interested, you need to seem like a challenge. To make her want to seduce you, you need to appear innocent. And to make her bored with you, all you have to do is be predictable. This isn’t true for most women because they usually have good intentions in regards to relationships. But we're not talking about most women here - we’re talking about the scandalous ones. 
Your actions will determine her moods, which she has little control over. You're a new toy, and the moment she's tired of you, she's on to the next. Her interest is strong early on, but will soon wane, and will wane quickly. 
At this point the reader has a decision to make: Stop reading now after having learned the lesson that these women are better off avoided, or continue reading and learn what it takes to be a true American Gigolo and turn the tables on them. Before reading on, though, consider the consequences: You are about to learn some of the top psychological tactics that separate the guys that get played by scandalous women from the guys that don’t. 
Key Point III : MIRROR YOUR ENEMIES - MASTER THE UNEXPECTED 
You've met a girl that you really like and you think that you're interested in something long term. But she has a reputation for being high maintenance and at the same time, you recognize signs that maybe she's a little scandalous. If she is scandalous, then you need to approach things on the offensive with a mindset that to have the advantage, you can't let yourself develop any feelings of attachment or affection. Not for a while. She's the one who has to develop these feelings if you want things to go anywhere. 
Effective courtship truly depends on having a strategy. The guy that goes into it blindly stands a good chance of going down. To be successful at the dating game, you have to pay attention to the opposite side, at the same time keeping an eye on yours. For example, and as stated above, if you know that showing too much interest early on will generally turn a woman off, then you need to make sure that you don't show too much interest. 
Early on, if you know a woman's scandalous, you have three choices to make: 
Play it safe and blow off any thoughts of getting with her. 
Go into it knowing that she's scandalous and don't expect anything else. 
Teach this girl what being scandalous is all about. 
Let's explore Option 3. We'll set the tone with the following quotations: 
“Coercion creates a reaction that will eventually work against you. You must seduce others into WANTING to move in your direction. Soften up the resistant by working on their emotions, playing on what they hold dear and what they fear." “The mirror reflects reality, but it is also the perfect tool for deception: When you mirror your enemies, doing exactly as they do, they cannot figure out your strategy." 
- The 48 Laws of Power, Penguin Putnam Inc., 1998
So we need to break her psychology down and understand how she thinks and views the world: What do we know about her? We know that she's scandalous. We know that the majority of the guys that she "plays" fall for her game. We know that she wants to be pursued by guys. And we know that she’s under the delusion that the world revolves around her. 
How do we use this to our advantage? By reminding ourselves at every opportunity that we know what she's all about. The trick to coming out ahead of her is to not let your male instinct generate any feelings for her. Your male instinct wants you to propagate and have offspring and it wants you to have a mate that can raise these offspring. "Love" is a strong emotion generated by your male instinct to make you want to provide for the female so that she'll raise your children. You need to control your instinct and the first step is recognizing it for what it is. At the first signs that a woman is taking up your thoughts, realize that you’re beginning to lose control to the animal inside you and put it in check. Early on, let her make all the major moves. Act laid-back and professional at all times. You've heard of girls playing hard to get? You need to play hard to get. Remember these four words at all times. Don't show any affection. Flirt, but not much. Talk to her. But not much. The initial impression that she's making of you is that you're different than most of the guys she's been with because you don't seem to be falling for her game. Psychologically, it's hard for her to read your motives, which creates a little mystery, and therefore a challenge. What's interesting is that she's not thinking of the words "mystery" and "challenge" as she's getting to know you - instead she's being driven by an emotional process that she doesn't quite understand. You're the musician and she's the cobra and as long as you give off a rhythmic vibe she'll move to the flow. But the moment you fuck up the vibe, the spell is broken and once again she's a deadly viper. 
While playing hard to get can work wonders with women that play hard to get (you're using the Seducer's Mirror, which you'll learn more about in a later chapter) in reality playing hard to get (if you do it right - not too little and not too much) can work wonders with all women. Start off by showing a little interest - then back off and make her come to you. When she comes to you, show interest again, then back off. Learn to read the situation. For example, if you're in conversation - whether in person or on the phone - when you're about to part ways or you sense that you're carrying the conversation on for too long, decide to leave abruptly. Make up a sincere reason to be somewhere else and then leave or hang up the phone. Early on in the courting process, do this at every opportunity. 
Not many men can effectively take women for granted, and, not suprising, it's the ones that do that are pursued by women. Women see a man who take women for granted as a challenge. So if you give a woman your full attention early on, if you go out of your way to be nice, if you call when you say you'll call, she'll realize that she doesn't need to pursue you. The thrill of the chase is gone. You're unworthy. 
Average looking women with low self-esteem tend to end up with average guys. It's the really attractive women, the fine women with high self-esteem, for the most part, that end up with guys whom they see as challenges. Guys with money. Guys with status. Guys with looks. Guys who are ASSHOLES. 
And average guys who can take women for granted. 
You're an average guy and you like her. Keep that to yourself. Early on, never bring up questions about her feelings for you or your present "relationship". And if she brings these kinds of questions up, change the subject. By doing so, you tap into her imagination, psychologically placing yourself on a pedestal, and make her wonder. There are many different moves you can use to effectively "take her for granted" and we will eventually go over these in a later chapter. 
In the end, it's not hard to be considered a "challenge". Pay attention to the little things. They all add up. 
When it comes to a woman who might be high maintenance (scandalous), keep backing off and make her keep coming to you. That's the basic system to it, and it's the same system that clever women have been using since the dawn of time to make guys fall for them. Remember that the next time she says she's going to call and then she doesn't. Then remember to never give her the opportunity to say she'll call - tell her that YOU WILL CALL HER, and be sincere, and then DON'T call. Wait a couple days, or whatever you think is called for. Situations vary. Psychologically, the more a woman (or anyone) wants something, the more it will elude her, and the more she'll chase after it. In your case, the longer this process carries on, the less willing she will be to give you up once she thinks you're "caught". 
Key Point IV : SHE CAN'T PLAY A PLAYER 
True shyness has no part in your act. You’ll often get ahead though, by being able to fake it. At this point, it’s no longer shyness but an offensive weapon: By showing shyness, you give off a sense of innocence, which for some scandalous women is too hard to resist. There is something about your innocence that draws them in - they think that they have something over you and it gives them a sense of power. And for some people, power is addictive. One way to drive a scandalous woman mad goes like this: Put on an innocent act whenever you’re around her, and then when you finally get with her, continue afterwards to act innocent. This whole time that you’re acting innocent don’t show any feelings of attachment or affection, even after getting with her on more than one occasion. None. Absolutely no feelings. 
If you do this right, you can seriously cause this girl to become obsessed with you. Because she can’t explain your lack of feelings. You begin to overwhelm her thoughts. You’re innocent - she therefore assumes you’re naive - and she thinks that you should have had feelings for her developing since day one. Like every other guy before you. But instead of any feelings, you’re untouchable - it’s almost a dark side. You’re showing the signs of a hardcore, cold and calculating manipulator, and the more she thinks about it - she gets thoughts that you’re a ruthless player - but then she realizes that there’s no way you could be a ruthless player - you’re too innocent. . . 
Innocent yet untouchable can be an extremely effective combination. 
In politics and war, mind games like the one above have been used for centuries to strike terror in the hearts of adversaries. And like adversaries that are kept in suspense, you’re keeping her guessing because she can’t predict what you’re going to do next. Unless she’s got the sense to go with Option 1 and “play it safe and blow off any thoughts” of getting with you, in the end this girl will never be able to approach another guy without recalling the time that innocent and naive guy turned out to be the most ruthless player she’d ever met. 
Chapter IIII
PLAYING TO A WOMAN'S EGO ATTITUDE + ATTITUDE =EGO
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She has a lot of attitude. But after reading Senoritas Escandalosa - you know how to detect it before it rears it's ugly head. 
The warning signs are there early on: Is she outgoing? Nowadays, 9 out of 10 times if a woman is outgoing that's a dead give away that she has an ego and so you better watch out. How does she dress? Is she up to date with the current trends? What does her social life consist of? Does she have many friends? 
You see, it's important to understand that women today are different than women of recent decades. Throughout most of history women were "submissive" to men, but then the sixties hit and suddenly things like feminism and women's rights took center stage. It probably seemed like a good idea at the time... 
...But our sixties forefathers just weren't thinking - maybe they were smoking too much dope. And so here we are now, males in our twenties and early thirties, and we have to deal with the consequences. Women have been set free, they are our equals. In school, in the workplace, in sports, and in sex. Today, many women see males as competitors, rather than potential partners. 
If current trends continue, women may very easily become the dominant sex. It's shocking to realize, but when you think about it, you can see how it can very easily come to pass. 
Why were men considered the dominant sex, anyway? In ages past, we were the protectors and providers, the hunters and builders. Simply stated, we were bigger and stronger, and anyway, women were needed to nurse the children. 
Today, if women want protection, they get a court order - if they need provisions (food and shelter), they make as much money as us (and sometimes more) and can provide for themselves. And if they need to nurse children, they've got daycares, nannies, and their own parents to help take care of things. And sex? Logged on to a porn site recently? Glanced through the pages of a popular women's magazine like "Cosmopolitan?" Increasingly, it is becoming more and more common for women to satisfy their sexual urges with other women. Starting as early as high school. 
When it comes down to it, women don't necessarily need guys anymore. 
This puts us in a sticky situation. What's a guy to do? We grew up learning to be tough and athletic and proud of ourselves, but if we display any of these traits nowadays it seems that many women view us as a challenge to their ego's rather than as a strong provider and protector. 
Do you recall the title to this section? 
PLAYING TO A WOMAN'S EGO 
Our key point is this: To get with women that show any elements of superior ego/attitude, you have to play to their egos/attitudes. 
In competition, it is instinctive to want to come out on top. This girl's ego sees you as a competitor. So she wants to come out on top and she accomplishes this by not even giving you the time of day - or worse, simply leading you on. In the end, this girl thinks that she's the shit. 
If you want to get with her, the trick is to trick her into seeing you as other than a competitor. And the old saying goes - you never have a second chance to make a first impression. 
The following technique that we're about to share with you will work wonders: (She won't know what hit her!) Many con artists throughout history have applied something similar to achieve their goals. Based on human psychology, the same concept carries over easily into today's relationship arena. . . 
Make her think that you think that she's the shit. She's the star of the show and you're the devoted fan. Play dumb to a certain extent. Think Joey from Friends. She is the shit, and you're like a puppy dog on a leash, happy - your tongue hanging out - giving her the impression that all you want out of life is to have her pat your head and scratch your ears. You'll follow her anywhere that she goes. You never try to outshine her - you're never a show-off and you never reveal your own ego to her. 
Keep in mind that when playing to a woman's ego, you're definitely not playing hard to get. This is because she thinks that she's the shit and she expects the guy that she gets with to think that she's the shit as well. So, early on, if you play hard to get with this type of girl you may easily insult her pride. Save "hard to get" for down the road (it's your surprise weapon if she ever suddenly shows a loss of interest in you [see "Senoritas Escandalosa"]). 
You are playing the seducer's game to perfection. It is a mirror-effect of sorts. You've studied this woman from a distance and you've realized her superior ego and super-star delusions by the way she carries herself. Her disdain for egotistical guys, her high ideals, and her belief that the world revolves around her. Your next step then is to make a mirror for her psychological pursuits, letting her glimpse what she can be - a super-star. 
This mirror has several functions: Satisfying her ego by giving her a reflection to look at, you've focused on her so exclusively that you've given her the feeling that you exist for her alone. Surrounded by a world of scheming guys who only have their own self-interest at heart, she can't fail to be touched by your devotional focus. Your mirror has set up an ideal for her to live up to: she's a super-star. To a woman with a super ego, nothing can be more intoxicating than to have someone hold up an idealized reflection of her. 
This is the power of the seducer's mirror: By doubling the ideals of this woman, it shows your attention to her psychology, an attention more charming than any aggressive pursuit. 
Casanova attributed his success in life to his ability to concentrate on a single goal and push at it until it yielded. It was his ability to give himself over completely to the women he desired that made him so intensely seductive. 
"The man who intends to make his fortune in this ancient capital of the world [Rome] must be a chameleon susceptible of reflecting the colors of the atmosphere that surrounds him...He must be supple, flexible, insinuating, close, inscrutable, often base, sometimes sincere, sometimes perfidious, always concealing a part of his knowledge, indulging in but one tone of voice, patient, a perfect master of his countenance, as cold as ice when any other man would be all fire..." 
MEMOIRS Giovanni Casanova 1725 - 1798
Chapter V
NICE GIRLS: EASY AS 1, 2, 3
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An attractive, nice girl is a sensitive subject: She needs to be approached with a little finesse. Usually nice girls are the shy ones, and if you're an outgoing male with elements of style, a nice girl is probably going to put up a wall if she thinks that you're a typical male who's more interested in sex than anything else. So to get in on her, you need to come through her psychological back door. 
The following technique, although scene specific, actually paints a good picture if you look at it as it applies to the whole. Bottomline, this is a technique to bring down a woman's walls. 
The First Meeting: 
The first time that you meet a girl (through friends or co-workers, for example) realize that you'll more than likely see her again at some point. So on this first meeting exercise some self-control and put the dog inside you in check. Control your eyes, control your posture - be professional - don't appear to be thinking of her in any way that's sexual. You're only talking to her because the two of you have mutual friends and it's the courteous thing to do. Don't spend too much time with her and don't ask for her phone number. (If she asks for yours, great.) Do remember her name and something about herself that she may have mentioned or that you picked up on. 
The Second Meeting: 
You'll score some bonus points with the girl if a period of more than a few days has gone by and you're able to remember her name. Keep in mind that this is a nice girl. What do we know about nice girls? They're usually in college or out of college, they don't drink much and they usually don't smoke, and when they were younger they may have been into reading romance novels. If you remember her name after only meeting her once, there's a good chance that she'll be mildly impressed. She's interested in a guy that can score points with her. 
On this second meeting it's still important to be professional, but talk with her a while longer than you did the first meeting. Give her a little more attention. To avoid giving her the impression that you're full of yourself (like we all are), let her do most of the talking. ( * this is another true pimp technique, which has been discussed in both The Art of Being Smooth - The Seven Elements of Charisma and We Be Clubbin' - How to be a True Player.) 
So in this second meeting, don't talk to her for too long, or give her too much attention, because she may expect you to ask for her phone number (which will make you look like a gimp when you don't). It's still too early. 
The Third Meeting: 
This time when you see her, don't even hesitate. Surprise her with a friendly hug. A professional hug. Definitely know her name. Definitely remember something about the last conversation the two of you had. Compliment her as if complimenting an old friend. In other words, don't be smooth and seductive: be cool and at ease. You can tell her now that she "looks good" without it seeming like a pick-up line. If she returns the compliment, YOU'RE IN. 
Patience pays off. This girl has an untapped sexual side that you should be making your goal to bring out. Like women that are scandalous, she's also got her hot spots, it's just that she may not be aware of them - or she may be aware of them, but she's waiting for the right guy to bring them out. In her mind the right guy is a guy that is interested in her for who she is as a person, and not because she's got a great body that would be mad sex. 
Throughout this three step process you're breaking down her walls, and once you've got her walls down it's up to you to then guide her in the direction you want to go. If this is your typical nice girl, she's probably got at least some elements of shyness to her. If you're going to ask her on a date you need to motivate her with some simple actions. For example, an effective way to ask for a girl's phone number (and at the same time break off the conversation) is to say something like, "I have to be somewhere in a little while - we should talk on the phone sometime." Immediately pay attention to her body language - if she looks interested and gives you a positive vibe, ask for her phone number. But if she looks bored and you think that she's only agreeing because it's the courteous thing to do, then don't. 
Let's backtrack for a moment: If you know that you're definitely going to come into contact with this girl again, it's actually better at this point to lead her on by saying, "We should talk on the phone sometime," and then don't ask for her phone number. This is a basic move in the art of seduction, which is usually accomplished by acting interested in a person, and then throwing them off the scent by not acting interested. Then act interested. Then again act not so interested. In seduction, you are evoking the same emotional processes in a nice girl that you bring out in a scandalous ho when you play hard to get (which is a form of seduction). You're creating a psychological state of "mystery" and "challenge" - both of which women are known to be attracted to. Keep that in mind. 
Chapter VI
AFTER THOUGHT: SEDUCTION IN THE YEAR 2K 
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In seduction, the first step - often overlooked - is to take a step back and survey the situation from all angles. You should do this with every woman that you find yourself attracted to and wanting to get to know. By doing this from the start, you are putting yourself in control of the situation before it develops into something where you lose control. Meaning, your hormones take over and fuck everything up. 
Seduction often fails to get by the first step because it is too aggressive. The first move must be a retreat. Psychologically, a retreat draws the woman in, the animal instinct inside her telling her to give chase. But then her feminine logic takes over and once again her walls go up. And so you approach again, then back off. Approach closer; back off even further. Approach even closer; back off even further. The longer this process continues, the more that she becomes involved psychologically. All it takes is patience on your part. 
Do you see what is happening? 
First off, to understand how seduction works, realize that humans are instinct-driven to look for habits and standards in the world around them, which at the same time fuels a strong need to predict patterns in other people's actions. If you can't predict something, you lose a sense of control. This is why an aura of "mystery" is so enthralling - when people are presented with mystery, they suddenly feel as if they're not in control of the situation because they don't understand it, and now they must do something to gain control and understand. It becomes a priority on a subconscious level. 
By acting interested, and then disinterested, your goal is to bait her into giving chase. You are manipulating her into perceiving you as a challenge. Challenge and chase go hand in hand. 
Seduction is a mind game. Throughout it all you're making her think about you more and more, and it's her instinct to want to predict your next move, which - if you're doing things right - she won't be able to. Each step of the way you become more of a challenge. At some point she may decide that she is in love with you. If you take it too far, though, she may lose control to her instinct and become obsessed. (While obsession does have it's negative aspects - rent the movie, The Crush - it makes for great sex. Sex with an attractive, obsessed woman is one of the seven wonders of the world, which unfortunately most guys have never known and most probably never will, unless they take this book to heart.) 
You are giving yourself the ultimate control. Never again will a woman lead you on or effectively play hard to get, because at the first sign of these things you're going to know exactly what she's doing and you'll know how to turn the tables. While she's stuck on trying to play a mind game, you're becoming a god in a sense, because, armed with what you know after reading this, you now have the knowledge to do what it takes to awaken some of her most basic instincts and therefore you can guide her actions and emotional processes. 
Chapter VII
CONVERSATION DYNAMICS
COPYRIGHT © 2OOO, 3 A.M. PUBLISHING ALL RIGHTS RESERVED
Key Points: 
•	Introduction 
•	Instant Eye Attraction: It's All In The Eyes 
•	The Overwhelming Effect of Small Talk 
INTRODUCTION 
Conversational skills will make you, and lack of them will break you. You may be the homeliest guy on the planet, but if you're good with words you can still have some serious game with women. It's not hard to be good with words - just pay attention to what you say and how you say it. Speak audibly - don't mumble or stutter, and put life into your hello's and goodbyes. 
It's All In The Eyes 
Most people (by far the vast majority) don't realize it, but your eyes give effect to much of what you say; and when it comes to conversation with women, your eyes can be the magic words to creating attraction. Your eyes reflect mood, and mood is usually infective. 
Before we go any further, though, test this out for yourself. Go stand in front of a mirror. Now, as if you're an actor, pretend to be suddenly angry. Look at your eyes: Do you see how they change - your eyes reflect your anger. Now take notice of your facial expression. This is what people see on your face when they see you angry. Now attempt to feel sad - your eyes should now reflect sadness. Notice your facial expression? This is what people see when you're sad. What about happy? Cocky? Bored? Serious? Lost? In awe? Confused? Nervous? Confident? Aggressive? Shy? Laid-back? 
Of the wide range of human emotions, all can be reflected in your eyes. And, like an actor, each emotion can be faked by simply focusing on presenting each emotion in your eyes. The emotion's respective facial expression will follow. 
Where is this going? Well, keep reading. 
You've probably heard the term poker-face before. Poker-face represents a person's ability to conceal their emotions during a game of cards, especially when large bets have been wagered. Let's say you're dealt a hand that is a sure winner; and because it is, you want as much money wagered as possible. But if the other card players at the table can read your excitement at having such a great hand, they may get scared and either place small bets, or simply fold their cards and drop out. So to keep them unaware of your great hand, you hide your excitement with a blank face, and maybe even take it one step further by appearing subtly disappointed. You're careful not to overdo it, though, because then it might be obvious that you're faking. 
In regards to conversation with women, we use a poker-face to cloak the true emotions we may be feeling - not with a blank face, but with an entirely different emotion altogether. Do you feel shy? Focus on your eyes and cloak it with confidence. Are you nervous? This is another emotion easily cloaked with an appearance of confidence. In the case of shyness or nervousness, confidence is your poker-face. 
And it's all in the eyes. 
But simply appearing confident with your eyes isn't enough to create attraction. With your eyes you want to tantalize, tease, be playful, flirt, entice, charm. Now get back in front of the mirror and think along these lines. It's probably not going to be easy at first. These are emotional mind sets that most guys aren't familiar with. Have you known any guys that are great at flirting with women? Think about how their eyes reflected playfulness and charm. This is the effect that you want to capture. All you have to do is practice and it will eventually come naturally. 
Humor and a sense of fun are some of the most powerful aphrodisiacs in the world, which is a key point you need to know to realize why appearing playful in your eyes creates attraction in women. 
By using your eyes to entice and charm, you're avoiding the most common facial expressions that women are turned off by - or rather, aren't turned on by. Appearing too serious, too comical, too tough, too cool, macho - these are appearances typical of the average guy that turn off most women. Appearing "playful" sounds like a childish term, but when it comes to attracting women it can be the deadliest weapon in your arsenal. To women, playfulness says a lot about you. You're fun. You're confident. You're at ease around women. Obviously you're used to being successful with women because otherwise you wouldn't have such a playful approach. You're a flirt. You're a tease. . . 
Pay attention to the effect you're having. Your eyes are such a powerful tool, that it only takes seconds to initiate an attraction. In the end, playful eye contact, when used in the right amounts (not too little and not too much) can seriously mess women up. 
IN ADDITION... 
"Once you've been prejudged, it's that much easier to create the effect that you're after. Notice that we used the word "probably" in the above paragraph? We use the word "probably" to represent the other person's expectations. This is what he or she expects. And because they expect it, now it's that much easier to give it to them." 
- The Seven Elements of Charisma 
When you flirt with women you've just met, not only do you demonstrate confidence and playfulness (a very effective combination), but you also give off the impression that you're ACCUSTOMED to flirting with women, which makes you a challenge in a way. When you're at ease around a woman, her imagination tells her that: a) You're at ease around other women, which makes you a product probably in "demand". b) You're able to take women for granted, probably because you're used to being pursued by women. This all adds up to make you an intriguing person and someone worth getting to know more about. 
THE SECRET OF SMALL TALK 
Once you've broken the ice with an effective opening, you can pretty much say whatever you want, as long as you remember some simple guidelines: 
Listen attentively to what she has to say - not only are you giving her the impression that she can "talk to you about anything" (a rare trait in men that many women are attracted too), but you're also picking up on key phrases that she's using, which makes it easy to keep the conversation going. 
As you're listening attentively and picking up on key phrases that she's using, look for opportunities to sprinkle in some background information about yourself. Not much, just enough to let her know that you're not a serial killer and that you have friends. 
In this first conversation, here's an excellent opportunity to plant the seeds of attraction, and you do this by playing off her imagination (See "Enigma", Chapter 1, The Seven Elements of Charisma). If you can somehow relate to anything she's saying, as soon as she pauses for a breath, let her know that you can relate, but don't make a big deal about it. Then, rather than change the subject, go back in time twenty seconds and pick up the conversation before you had cut in. 
By not making a big deal out of the fact that the two of you share something in common, you immediately put her mind to work. Suddenly she's not sure what you're motives are. In general, when a woman is in conversation with a guy she's never met, in the back of her mind she's looking for signs that the guy is somehow interested in her. Guys who are obviously interested are very predictable, with little challenge or mystery to them whatsoever. 
So here's an opportunity to present yourself as a challenge - using the element of enigma, you're goal is to tap into her imagination and make her wonder whether you're interested or not (Psychologically, this works at almost all stages of the dating game, and a very popular tactic women use on men). If you're interested, you're interested. If you're not interested, you're not interested. But if she's not sure, you suddenly present yourself as a challenge, which (worth repeating a thousand times over) women are known to be attracted to. 
Generally when you tell a woman that the two of you have something in common, nine times out of ten it has the same effect as a pick up line - she thinks that you're trying to con her and it blows up in your face. Don't tell her you have something in common - show her by acting like you can relate to what she's saying. She'll realize on her own that the two of you have something in common and the effect is a hundred times greater. 
What are small talk killers? Pay attention - what follows are common mistakes many guys make when having a conversation with a women for the first time: 
Don't express interest in her sexually (in any way), be it with your eyes, posture, or words. 
Don't give her the third degree: In other words, avoid firing off questions, one after the other. 
Don't tell her too much about yourself (for example, your life story), because: 
a) You may come across as if you're trying to impress her with words.
b) You may come across as if you "talk too much". 
c) She may think that you're full of yourself. 
d) You don't leave anything to her imagination. 
Don't come across as cocky, too-cool, macho, or chauvinistic. On the flip side, don't come across as "too nice". 
Unless she's under the effects of alcohol, a woman's walls are usually up when meeting or being approached by a guy she's never met before. And some women's walls are up thicker than others. Your goal in the early stages of the conversation process is to tear down her walls and make her feel at ease in your presence. You can easily do this by assuming an "innocent" role. In your mind you should have no notion of bedding her, only of making a new friend. In fact, the moment you talk to a woman with absolutely no thoughts of sex, the pressure is off and you can talk to her as if you would talk to anyone else. So don't stare at her (keep eye contact, just don't overdo it), and don't lick your lips! 
The secret of small talk is to get her to open up to you, at the same time dropping in bits and pieces about yourself so that she will feel familiar with you and more at ease. One of the most effective means to small talk is to empathize and "be there" with her. Empathic listening, in fact, is considered to be emotionally seductive because a woman thinks that you share her feelings: pain, fear, anger, elation. As you listen to her, be truly attentive, and don't jump in immediately with something to say in response, as if you're her opponent in a talking contest. Too many guys think they need to be impressive with words, when actually to be truly impressive these guys really need to just shut-up and listen. 
There are no 'rules' to conversation with women. There are simply 'points'. Follow the points as we've outlined them above and you'll eventually go far. As anything else in this book, you're not going to be a professional the first time you walk up to the plate. But you now know what the game is about. You're facing a pitcher known for his slider, his fastball, and his change-up. Many would say, how is this possible when for so many guys conversation is hard? The fact is, and a point made many times throughout this book when talking about women, it's the imagination at work. Most men deceive themselves, thinking that there's something grand to an effective conversation with a woman. And with these thoughts, come illusions of self-doubt, that to have an effective conversation with a woman these guys themselves have to be grand. So don't let your imagination fool you. Read and re-read this chapter. 
Chapter VIII 
RICO SUAVE - Part I
COPYRIGHT © 2OOO, 3 A.M. PUBLISHING ALL RIGHTS RESERVED
Key Points: 
•	Are You the Jealous Type? 
•	Conversing For Maximum Effect 
The following articles were submitted to Dating Insider by SoSuave.com's, Allen Thompson - DJNewslet@aol.com 
ARE YOU THE JEALOUS TYPE? 
I hope not! 
Jealousy is one of the quickest and surest ways to get dumped. 
Jealousy is a sign of insecurity. It indicates a lack of confidence on your part. By acting in a jealous fashion you're essentially "telling her" that you don't feel worthy of her love, and that you're worried she's going to find one of the many, many guys out there who are "better than" you. 
Not to mention the fact that it's an incredibly annoying personality trait. 
Never forget that women are attracted to confidence in men. If a woman realizes that you're lacking in self-confidence then she'll lose respect for you. And if she doesn't respect you, she CAN'T love you. And every time you act like a jealous idiot, you lose more of that respect. 
Now don't try to tell me that you're the "jealous type" not because of a lack of confidence, but because you really love and care about her. Or because you can't trust her. I'm not buying it... and she won't either. 
Jealousy is about YOU and your feelings of insecurity; your lack of confidence; your feelings of inferiority. And it's your problem. It has nothing to do with her. (And if you really can't trust her, then why are you wasting your time. Find someone that you can trust.) 
So what do you do if you ARE the jealous type? 
Well, since you know that acting in a jealous fashion will push her away from you (by decreasing respect) and acting in a confident fashion will draw her toward you (by increasing respect), then... 
... ACT CONFIDENT. 
Let her do whatever she wants. Give her all the freedom she wants. Don't complain when she goes out with her friends. Smile when she says she's going to have lunch with her old boyfriend. Encourage her to go to that male strip club. Proudly display your confidence to her. 
And know that ACTING CONFIDENT in the face of these circumstances (which make most men jealous) will actually draw her to you. By doing this, you're essentially turning a negative personality trait (jealousy) into a positive personality trait (self-confidence). 
You should welcome these types of situations and view them as OPPORTUNITIES to display your confidence to her... and to draw her closer to you. 
POWERFUL STUFF! 
CONVERSING FOR MAXIMUM EFFECT 

By golly, you've actually met a woman. 
Maybe you're in bar. Maybe you're at the gym or laundromat. Maybe she's someone you know from work. Or maybe, even, you're actually out on a date. 
In any event, now you've got to do something scary, something unpredictable, something with the power to launch a future romantic relationship, or end one before it even gets started. YOU'VE GOT TO TALK TO HER. 
What do you talk about? Should you tell her about your childhood, your therapist, your plans for the future, the wart on your big toe? What if you can't think of anything to say? What if you say the wrong thing? And, by the way, what would be the "right" thing to say? Do you have a clue? 
Most guys don't. When your average gent converses with a woman, he's basically just flailing blindly at the wind, hoping by chance that something he says will "connect" with the woman and make her fall for him. 
Needless to say, this is not the "Don Juan" way of doing things. 
You need to have a plan. You need to know DEFINITELY what works and what doesn't, what to talk about and what not to talk about. You don't want to leave her feelings to chance or to fate. You want to be charming and in control. 
And that's what we're going to discuss right now. 
Now there are many many aspects of a conversation. This particular article focuses on the conversational TOPICS that you should focus on when wooing a beautiful lady. Those topics which will almost GUARANTEE increased interpersonal attraction. Topics which will leave you in complete charge of the conversation, and which will leave you the option, IF YOU SO DESIRE, of future conversations, dates, or an intense romantic relationship. 
Are you getting excited? 
Okay, so WHAT exactly do you talk about? 
Well, the first thing to remember is that men frequently err by talking TOO MUCH. They often monopolize conversations, droning on and on about topics that bore women to tears. They think they're "impressing" the women when, in reality, they're "depressing" the women. 
Just because a woman listens to you and acts interested in what you're saying doesn't necessarily mean she really is. She might just be acting polite while silently wishing that the date would hurry up and end, or that you would go away... and never come back. 
So key number one is DON'T TALK SO MUCH! Try not to monopolize the conversation and try to LISTEN to what SHE has to say. Remember, everyone is incredibly interested in what they themselves have to say. People will talk to you about themselves for as long as you will listen. 
So stop worrying about what you're going to say next. Focus all your attention and energy on listening to what the woman is saying to you. Try to visualize or "feel" what she's saying. 
This does take a little effort. It's not very hard to do, but it's not something that men "naturally" do. You simply have to concentrate. 
Now when listening you want to pay particular attention to any "seeds" or free information she happens to throw your way. Seeds refer to subtle hints that women give that point to conversational topics that they would like to or be willing to discuss. 
An example: 
Bob: "You come here often?" 
Kim: "Actually this is my first time here. Just moved here from Florida." 
Bob: "Oh. I come here every week. I love this band. It's pretty crowded tonight." 
Bob is clueless. 
Kim gives him plenty of free information to follow up on. It's almost as if she's testing him to see if he has the intelligence or social skills to capitalize on what she says. Bob fails. 
So what would be the "right" thing to say? 
Well... she mentions that this is her first time in the club and she just moved here from Florida. Bob could have properly "watered the seeds" by asking a) How does she like the club, band, etc? b) What brought her here from Florida? c) How long has she been in the area? d) Where in Florida is she from? e) How long was she there? f) What's it like there? 
Kim's two short sentences gave Bob tons of information to follow up on. Tons of conversational topics that she has indirectly indicated that she'd like to talk about. But Bob was too worried about himself. Too worried about the impression he was making. Too worried about what to say next to LISTEN to what she said. 
Do you see the importance of listening now? You must concentrate on what she says and block everything else out of your mind. If you listen you never have to worry about what to say next because the other person is "telling" you exactly what to say. 
Kim even subtly indicated that she was attracted to Bob (or at least not repulsed by him). How? She didn't blow him off. She gave him some free information to talk to her about. This may have been a conscious decision on her part or it may have been a somewhat unconscious act. In any event, Bob didn't pick up on it and blew his chances with her. 
Keep in mind that if a woman likes you or would like to get to know you better, she will GIVE YOU free information to follow up on. She will throw out some seeds for you to water. If she's not attracted to you, she won't give you much of anything and it will be very difficult to maintain a decent conversation with her. No matter how charming you are, if she doesn't "help you out some" you'll eventually have to admit defeat and walk away. 
So be sure to listen for the topics she'd like to discuss. 
Now in order to converse for maximum attraction, you need to keep two other things in mind. You need to tell her about yourself. And you need to maintain a proper talk/listen ratio. 
You may have heard or read somewhere that people like to talk about themselves and that you should spend most of your time listening and asking questions if you want others to like you. This is true... to a certain extent. 
People DO like to talk about themselves and they DO like those who listen, ask questions, and seem interested in what they're saying. 
But... 
If you're goal is to charm this lady, you've got to do more than that. You've got to tell her something about yourself. Specifically, you've got to "tell her" that YOU TWO ARE VERY MUCH ALIKE. 
You do this by making "me-too" statements. 
That is, it is desirable to bring yourself into the conversation when you can relate yourself to something she's talking about or make yourself seem similar to her. 
For example: 
Kim: "I really miss Miami." 
Jim: "I can imagine. I spent two weeks in Miami last summer. I loved it. Even thought about moving there myself." 
Jim is smooth. 
Jim didn't ask a question (this time). He told Kim something about himself that made him seem similar to her. Now if Jim has also been listening and asking questions, then he's probably doing very well with Kim. 
A good talk/listen ratio would be around 40/60 or 30/70. That is, you want to spend around 30 or 40 percent of the time talking, and about 60 to 70 percent of the time listening. And you should spend as much of that 30 to 40 percent as possible in the "me-too zone." 
Think about it this way... 
Let's assume you just went on a dinner date with a lady you like very much. If you monopolized the conversation and spent most of the time telling her how "wonderful" you are, you can pretty much expect there won't be a second date. I hope you can understand this. 
On the other hand, imagine you'd spent the entire two hours together sitting there, listening, and asking her questions. You probably did much better. She did seem happy. She did seem to enjoy the conversation. But still... 
After the date she's going to go home and think about the date. And she's going to think about you. She's going to think about whether she should spend more time with you or not. 
The fact that you haven't said much of anything all evening is going to be your downfall... 
BECAUSE SHE HAS NOTHING TO THINK ABOUT. 
You haven't told her anything about yourself. She still has no idea if she should be interested in you or not. She knows you don't monopolize the conversation and you're a good listener. And she likes that. But that's not enough to spark any kind of emotion in her. 
Now imagine you'd spent 60 to 70 percent of the date listening to her (really listening and asking questions), and about 30 to 40 percent of the time telling her about yourself. Specifically, telling her about yourself in a way that makes the two of you seem very similar. 
This time when she goes home, sits down, grabs something to drink, and starts reminiscing about the date (and you), she's going to have something substantial to think about. She's going to think what a wonderful conversationalist you are. You didn't monopolize the conversation. You didn't bore her with details of your job, your childhood, or the health of your colon. 
And because you spent a substantial amount of time pointing out how similar the two of you are, she's going to think that you are very SPECIAL. (After all, you're just like her. You must be.) 
People always like others who are similar to themselves. By being similar to me, you essentially validate my perceptions of the world. I will see you as clever, intelligent, charming, and likeable... because you're like me. 
(It's true that opposites do SOMETIMES attract. But only under certain situations. On the other hand, similars ALMOST ALWAYS attract. You should always go for the similarity angle during the first part of a relationship. You'll can reveal to her your "unique" qualities later.) 
And don't worry or feel cheated because you don't get to talk about the things you want to talk about. If you play your cards right during the first few conversations or dates, you'll have plenty of time later on to bore her with all your "interesting" stories. 
The first few conversations (dates) are critical and you have to "play" them right. That means listening for free info, asking interested questions, and making "me too" statements. It's a simple 1, 2, 3. 
Chapter IX 
RICO SUAVE - PART II 
COPYRIGHT © 2OOO, 3 A.M. PUBLISHING ALL RIGHTS RESERVED
Key Points: 
•	Making Her Salivate For You 
•	Your Magic Wand 
The following articles were submitted to Dating Insider by SoSuave.com's, Allen Thompson - DJNewslet@aol.com 
MAKING HER SALIVATE FOR YOU 
Ivan Pavlov was a physiologist who stumbled upon one of the most important principles in all of psychology. 
Pavlov discovered that he could teach dogs to salivate at the sound of a tone if he repeatedly paired the tone with the presentation of food. The dogs learned that the tone was a good predictor for food (which they liked and which naturally elicited a salivary response). Thus, by repeatedly pairing the tone and the food, the dogs learned to salivate to the sound of the tone... regardless of whether or not food was present. 
This is known as classical conditioning and it's quite an omnipresent phenomenon which influences most every aspect of our lives... especially our love lives. 
You see, EMOTIONS are particularly susceptible to classical conditioning. Emotions are very often "elicited" by certain circumstances as a result of past learning experiences (that is, previous pairings or associations). 
An obvious example is the emotion of fear. People often learn to fear things because of previous unpleasant associations. For example, a person may come to fear dentists (or perhaps the sound of a drill) because of past painful dental procedures. 
A woman who has been attacked may develop a fear of strangers or a fear of men. Or maybe it's the garage or neighborhood in which she was attacked that come to elicit feelings of fear and anxiety. It's a simple pairing of a particular situation (or person) with an emotion which causes similar situations (or persons) to elicit similar emotions in the future. 
On the positive side, think about an old girlfriend of yours that you adored. (Everybody has at least one that they blew it with.) You were crazy about this girl and would have done anything for her. As a result you may have done a few things you didn't really care too much for. 
Maybe she was really into Italian food but you weren't. Frequently you wound up in Italian restaurants in order to keep her happy. As a result of the pairing of Italian food with this adorable lady, you NOW love Italian food. Or maybe it's a particular Italian restaurant that you two frequented that you NOW love. 
Perhaps she used to love hiking so now you do. Or she was crazy about cats and now you have several. Or maybe it was a particular movie that the two of you saw together that still makes you feel queasy. Or a particular song (your song) that brings back a flood of vivid memories and intense emotions. Whatever. Your feelings for her were transferred to various other objects, situations, or people as a result of being paired with her. 
It's really fascinating to observe this pairing of situations and emotions. Try to pay attention to the "classical conditioning" happening around you as you go about your daily routine. It occurs ALL THE TIME. And it's really quite interesting. 
Now that we grasp the basics of classical conditioning, the question becomes, "How can we use classical conditioning to help us in our relationships with women?" 
We could probably write an entire book on classical conditioning and how it influences our love lives, our relationships, and our emotions. But I'm just going to point out one or two things to you right now and leave you to discover some of the other *secrets* yourself. 
Let's assume that the object of your affection (your girlfriend, or maybe a beauty you're attracted to) is always in either a good mood, neutral mood, or bad mood. That is, she's either experiencing good emotions, neutral emotions, or bad emotions. 
Our goal is simply to associate ourselves with her good emotions and dissociate ourselves from her bad emotions. In this way, we can MAKE OURSELVES into a type of infectious, charismatic individual who elicits positive emotions and positive feelings... simply by showing up. 
And that's what you want, isn't it? You want her to be excited and happy and feel good when you come around. You want her to look forward to seeing you because she knows that she's going to feel great. Isn't that how your lady (or the lady you desire) makes you feel - happy, excited, positive? 
And you definitely don't want your presence to elicit feelings of depression, anger, or anxiety. 
It's pretty simple. The major point here to remember is that you want to be around her when she's in a good mood and avoid her, like the plague, when she's in a bad mood. 
Nothing earth-shaking here. Yet it's amazing how guys can screw this up. Sometimes putting themselves through a great deal of extra effort in order to do so. 
If the beauty at your office is in a bad mood (she's got a plumbing problem), then you should spend as little time with her as possible that day. If that cute little blond in your history class is feeling exhausted (up all night studying), then this is not a good time to ask her to lunch. If your girlfriend has a mean case of PMS, stay away from her until she's in a more agreeable mood. 
By avoiding her when she's feeling bad, you're not pairing yourself with her negative emotional states... and conditioning yourself to be a "negative emotion generator." 
Now if she's in a good or great mood, then you should maximize your time together. This should be obvious. And my guess is that you probably WANT to be around her when she's feeling good anyway. So do it. 
And even if you can't spend that much time with her when she's feeling good, then you'd like to at least get her thinking about you. Call her on the phone. Send her a quick email. Accidentally bump into her in the break room. Tell her a joke - jokes tend to linger in the mind. Whatever. Use your imagination. 
(As far as neutral moods go, you goal is to change those into happy, exciting moods and associate yourself with these moods... but that's a subject to be covered in the future.) 
However, as mentioned, many guys screw this up. 
If their girlfriend (or potential girlfriend) is in a bad mood, they may try to make her feel better. They drop by her place with food and ice cream - to cheer her up. They insist on taking her out to lunch or dinner - brighten her day a little. They try to make her laugh. They do her favors. They spend hours on the phone sympathizing with her. They hang and hang and hang around. They do everything BUT what they should do... stay away. Dissociate. 
Now this budding Don Juan usually THINKS that his girlfriend (or potential love object) being down or in a bad mood is an opportunity for him to make a few points. That by doing his best to make her feel better that she's, of course, going to realize what a great guy he is... and maybe fall for him. 
It's possible. Anything's possible. But I wouldn't bet on it. All you're really doing is exerting extra effort to pair yourself with her negative emotional states. Yes, you might make her feel a little better, but you're most likely doing more damage to your "charisma" than good. 
Keep things simple. Just stay away. 
And if you're a sensitive guy who feels bad because she feels bad... well, remember that people often LIKE to feel down sometimes. People often LIKE getting upset and venting. Somehow it helps them to keep their lives in balance. Give her the freedom to feel bad if she wants. 
On the other hand, if she's been emotionally DEVASTATED that's a different situation. 
Maybe her best friend died. Maybe her new car got totaled. Maybe her cat was run over. Whatever - it varies from girl to girl. If she's your girlfriend (or significant other), she's going to EXPECT you to be there for her emotionally. She's going to want to lean on you and draw strength from you. She's going to want to emotionally vent to you. And if you're not there for her, she's going to "hate" you for it. 
However, if she's been devastated and she's NOT your girlfriend (just someone that you'd like to be), then it's probably best to stay away until she's feeling better. 
As mentioned, classical conditioning is happening constantly and I can't possibly go into all of the related scenarios, but I'll briefly mention one other instance... that of "good" and "bad" news. 
Yes, delivering bad news does rub off on to the person unfortunate enough to deliver it. It's one of the most potent cases of classical conditioning. She's feeling good. You arrive and deliver the bad news. She's now feeling bad. Not exactly what you should aspire to. 
Never deliver bad news to a girl you're attracted to. Get someone else to do it. Bribe someone if you have to. Just make sure you're someplace else. 
Now as far as delivering good news... Ooooh Yeeaah!! 
YOUR MAGIC WAND 
(* Note: In "The Seven Elements of Charisma", the powerful psychological effects of a simple smile were talked about. In the piece that follows, Dating Insider and Allen Thompson really hammer it home. Often it's the "little things" that define a man who commands success with women. The "smile" is a perfect example. Attractive. Effective. Powerful.) 
What red-blooded male hasn't at one time or another dreamed of having a magic wand. 
A wand which would instantly turn you into the most charming, irresistible hunk of manhood this side of Robert Redford? Or perhaps a word or phrase that you could utter to create a magical, sensual effect on the woman you're talking to? Or maybe a particular behavior, such as snapping your fingers, that would instantly fill any woman you wanted with feelings of infatuation, love, and lust for YOU? 
You wouldn't want to be completely irresistible. Oh, no. That would be far too much trouble. You'd have girls that you're not interested in chasing you all over the place. You simply want to be charming and irresistible to all those girls you are attracted to. 
A wand, a word, or a simple behavior that would instantly turn you into a charismatic and irresistible Don Juan. Yes, life would be good! 
Well I'm here to tell you there is such a magic wand. Something that will make you almost completely irresistible to any woman you "point it" at. Something guaranteed to fill your life with love, romance, and excitement. No, I'm not talking about some kind of mythical aphrodisiac. I'm not talking about a pheromone cologne, or some kind of pill you slip into her drink. 
No, this is much easier and simpler. It doesn't cost you anything and it's something that any man can master. 
It's known as a SMILE. 
Now I'm not talking about just any smile. I'm not talking about that pathetic little smirk of yours that makes you look more scary than friendly. But a big, face-consuming, I-feel-good-about-life-and-I-like-you-too kind of grin that will instantly light up any room (and any woman) that you "point it" at. 
Never forget that women are irresistibly drawn to smiling guys. They flirt with smiling guys. Date smiling guys. Have sex with smiling guys. Marry smiling guys. And live happily ever after with smiling guys. 
Why this infatuation with smiling guys? 
Well, smiling says that you're a positive, optimistic person. That you're a person who has fun and enjoys life. That you're confident. That you're mature, expressive, and don't hide your feelings. And, most importantly, smiling says that you like and are attracted to her. (You don't smile at people you don't like, do you?) 
One other thing: smiling makes you more physically attractive. 
I'm sure you know at least one girl that you're attracted to, but you're not sure exactly why. Physically, she has neither a perfect body nor a perfect face. Yet, to you and most every other guy, she's beautiful, irresistible, and charming. 
Chances are she smiles a lot. 
So smiling make you more attractive, reveals your positive personality, and indicates that you like the person you're smiling at. Wow! 
I know what some of you are thinking. Clint Eastwood never smiled. John Wayne never smiled. James Dean never smiled. And they always wound up with the women. 
Well, friends, I'm talking about real life here, not television or the movies. Being a hard, tough, cold, unemotional, unexpressive guy may work in the movies, but it doesn't work in real life. And chances are, you don't look like Clint Eastwood, John Wayne, or James Dean either. 
But that's how most of us guys were raised, right? We were taught to be unexpressive and unemotional. We grew up trying to be cool, trying to be what we thought others admired. We wanted to be Clint Eastwood or John Wayne. We wanted to be tough, cool, and get all the women. 
Just doesn't work that way in real life. 
Want to see something really enlightening (and sad)? Go out to one of the more popular bars or nightclubs in your area. Try and peel your eyes off all the beautiful women and check out the guys for a minute. Notice how most of them are trying to attract women by being cool, tough, hard, unemotional. They think they can attract women by acting like they don't really care. Notice all these cool guys leaning against the walls by themselves (or with their equally cool, male buddies). 
And they go there to meet women! Ridiculous! 
Now take a look around the club at the men who are surrounded by women and are having a great time. What do you notice about them? Take a look at the way they dress, the way they walk, the way they act. But most importantly take a look at their faces. They're smiling, feeling good, and having a great time. They know they secret. They brought the wand. 
"Well shucks, I'd be having a great time too if I was surrounded by women," I hear you muttering. 
True. But the secret is that they came into the club like that. With those positive, happy, fun-loving smiles. They didn't wait for the fun to start before they started having fun. They have learned not to "pursue" women but to "attract" them... by smiling. 
Okay, so HOW do you smile? 
Remember, most of us have been trained since childhood not to smile, not to reveal our emotions, not to reveal vulnerability. Trying to "force" yourself to smile can be quite difficult, especially if you're feeling nervous, or "she" happens to be around. 
(Interesting how some guys think smiling communicates weakness, when it actually communicates confidence and strength.) 
So how do you learn to smile? 
One word. PRACTICE! 
Smiling is like any other behavior. To get good at it you have to practice. And practice. And practice. 
Think about the simple act of snapping your fingers. Can you snap your fingers? Most people can't. The first time you try you'll most likely get a pathetic little "snuupff." Now try again. About the same. But if you practice some, you'll eventually be able to create an almost ear-shattering "KAA-SSNAPP" that will demand the attention of everyone around. You'll get so good at snapping your fingers that you'll almost hurt yourself doing it. 
That's what you want your smile to be like. You want your smile to demand the attention of everyone around. You want your smile to be POWERFUL. 
So how do you practice? Very simple. Just go into your bathroom or bedroom or anyplace there's a mirror and you can be alone. Look into the mirror and smile. Smile. And smile some more. Smile until your entire face aches. Smile until every muscle in your face is so fatigued that you can't possibly smile anymore. Then keep smiling. 
Yes, you're going to feel stupid, silly, and ridiculous. Great! The sillier you feel, the more you'll feel like smiling. And the act of smiling itself, will actually make you feel better and feel more like smiling. 
(This is an excellent exercise to practice before going out on a date, or out to a nightclub, or anywhere else you might meet a woman you'd be interested in.) 
You want your smiles to be real smiles though, not fake-looking smirks. So it helps to think of things that naturally make you smile or laugh. Maybe make a list of things that you can think about before you start. 
Keep in mind that "real" smiles and "fake" smiles ARE different. 
Fake smiles go on instantly, and disappear just as fast. They look fake. They look like a practiced behavior. They look insincere. They utilize mainly the muscles of the mouth and not the eyes and the rest of the face. And they look unemotional. 
Real smiles, on the other hand, are slower to form, and slower to disappear. They're fueled by emotions and emotions do not change instantly. They involve the whole face. They utilize more facial muscles, especially those around the eyes. They LOOK sincere. 
Thus, you have to learn to "fake" a "real" smile. 
By faking, I simply mean a smile that you can put on whenever you want. A smile that you can control. A smile which is not completely dependent on your emotional state. After all, you may not be feeling all that wonderful when the girl of your dreams walks by. 
So you practice slowly forming a smile... and slowly letting the smile disappear from your face. You have to train the muscles of your face to do this. It's not hard, but it does take practice. 
(We're talking about slow relative to a fake smile. We're not talking about slow motion. If you're looking in a mirror, you'll be able to tell when you get it right.) 
And the payoff for your practice and "hard work" will be enormous. 
Think about top professional models or top professional actors. They've learned how to "fake" smiles. Their smiles look real. And they can unleash them anytime they want. A magazine cover, a TV interview, the public, their fans. The world is literally at their mercy. 
And when you learn to smile, the world will literally be at your mercy too. 
You've stopped in at a local restaurant to grab something to eat with one of your buddies. An unbelievably cute waitress skips up to take your order. KAA-SNNAAP. You unleash your smile. Watch her face light up. Watch the special treatment you receive. Watch your buddy turn green with envy. (Don't you think you should forward him a copy of Don Juan?) 
You're standing in line at the grocery store. There's a very beautiful, yet very tired-looking girl at the register. You walk up and SMILE. Watch her face light up. Watch her whole personality change. She suddenly feels like talking. Do you think she'll remember YOU? 
Unleash your new smile at the office. Unleash it at a local bar. Unleash it at the gym. Unleash it anywhere there are beautiful women you'd like to meet. Think of it as your magic wand. Think of it as "the secret" that you know that most guys don't. 
You have no idea the pleasures that await you.